Monthly Archive: February 2005

Feb 28 2005

Giving Banderas The Stink Eye

Leftover baby back ribs from Hudson’s On The Bend It’s Oscar Night again. Time for Hudson’s leftover ribs and Star Trek DVDs. Star Trek DVDs are indicated when one eats ribs instead of watching the Oscars. Books require page turning, and TV requires constant channel flipping, and we don’t want to get sauce on the …

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Feb 27 2005

Smoked. Red. Exotic. Meat.

Fig. 15. Rattlesnake cakes on a slab of granite Fig. 24a. Giant Meat Plate: 1) elk backstrap 2) wild game sausage 3) rabbit nuggets 4) two quail halves 5) buffalo tenderloin Thirty-five minutes northwest of North South Austin by car lies the swishily rustic Hudson’s On The Bend, the most expensive barbecue joint I have …

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Feb 26 2005

Death Looms For Prince of Patriarchy

Fusilli, leftover takeout chicken, sun-dried tomato, roasted garlic, mushroom essence Meanwhile, self-inflicted castration falls out of fashion I got outside this dish while watching responsibly reported hard news on TV. "Peter Jennings Reporting: UFOs–Seeing Is Believing." There’s nothing like watching a parade of yokels declaim "I know what I seen, and it warn’t no aeroplane!" …

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Feb 24 2005

Cleaning Out Your Meat Drawer?

Orrechiette with tasso ham and peas If you’re like me, you have a vacuum-pack of Savoie’s tasso lying around. And if your tasso is like mine, it cries out to be combined with a sauce of peas and shallots and white wine and cream, thereafter to be applied to a bowl of orrechiette. I pruned …

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Feb 24 2005

The Art of the Taco

Los tacos de Tacodeli: fish (left) and the peerless Frontera Fundido Tacodeli has perfected the taco with a little number they like to call Frontera Fundido. This sublime example of the taqueriador’s art is chunks of toothsome pot roast with fried onions and crisp poblano peppers. The secret ingredient is the mysterious "mouth-watering cheese glaze." …

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Feb 24 2005

Go Shoot Motherfuckers

Grilled lamb chops with mustard and red currant glaze, flageolets with spinach and tomaters, and a head of roasted garlic "You know, when I joined the Army nine years ago people would always ask me why I joined. Did I do it for college money? Did I do it for women? People never understood. I …

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Feb 24 2005

Cruel Shoes

Footwear of the Middle Ages I blame the patriarchy for my persisting addiction to misogynist footwear. And god help me, I love the Manolo! Witness his greatness here, and here.

Feb 23 2005

More Super-Fucking Sexist Bullshit

In Austin, where failure to own a grill is a felony, there are only six or seven hours per year when it’s too cold for a cookout. The Twisty Test Kitchens have operated outside the law long enough! A few days ago we finally acquired our Lodge Outpost Cast Iron Grill and Matching Stand. Thus …

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Feb 23 2005

Cock Chop!

Poor Kim Tran: sick of the dick Raging Feminist wonders how come a guy getting his dick chopped off is "so damn shocking" ("police said they were surprised by the nature of the crime") when the mass mutilation of gazillions of women is a daily occurence and causes not so much as a media burp. …

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Feb 21 2005

Insane Austin

Enchiladas Tres Marias at Las Palomas, Austin Las Palomas, I am sorry to say, is in a strip mall on Bee Caves Road. The strip mall is an enormous, baking-hot asphalt parking lot. Around the edges is a single long, low, soul-sucking building, with a Taco Bell on one end and a UPS Store on …

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