Mar 25 2005

How To Spell “Kyrgyzstan”


As an insufferable know-it-all, I need to get this off my chest: until this morning, I would have lost a spelling bee over Kyrgyzstan. I also would have looked pretty silly trying to point it out on a map, having previously imagined it to be an island off the coast of Florida.

Thanks to the Internet, I am now Austin’s leading expert on Kyrgyzstan, both in the spelling of it and in the pointing out of it on a map.

It turns out that in Kyrgyzstan the other day a preponderance of the citizenry sprang out of bed and cried "we’ve had it up to here with these bogus elections!" They went out and threw some rocks at cops. Before you could say "authoritarian Soviet-era President Askar Akayev and his unpopular wife," the old farts had beaten a hasty retreat to points unknown, and the populists were lounging in Askar’s panelled office, smoking his Cubans.

Hardly anybody was killed.

It’s nice to know that corrupt governments can still spontaneously crumble the old-fashioned way–angry mobs of oppressed indigents, stone-throwing, what the NY Times calls "cheerful" looting–without the American corporatocracy wagging its dog to stage a politically-motivated bloodbath.