[Note: Typepad refuses to upload today's Morsel Institute photo. What you are missing out on is documentation of a "chicken-burger," which idea turns out to be only about half as ill-conceived as you think]
[New Note: Here is the "chicken-burger" after all]
It is rare that a single word, as opposed to a full-blown catch-phrase or meme, should attain the status of crappy meaningless cliché, but have you noticed that lately no 21st century English sentence is complete without the word snarky?
Snarky is used often and incorrectly in a context of glowing admiration for the one so described. It is my contention that what is often meant by “She’s so snarky!” is actually “Her wit is delightfully ascerbic.” In this case, please, just say “Her wit is delightfully ascerbic.” Or, “She is Dorothy Parker.”
In the event that the subject is an object of disdain, consider that there are always better ways to describe a cagey wiseass with self-eminent delusions who lacks real substance, than to rely on mots that lack bon-ness. I suggest “She is a fucktard.” Or, “She is David Spade’s penis-nose.”
You know, if somebody had euthanized David Spade back when he was begging for it on that crappy sitcom, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.
So profoundly unpleasant is this snarky–particularly when spake with an American accent, which sends the word up through the sinuses and contorts the mouth into an Upper Class Twit of the Year grimace–that it soils anything it touches with a viscous mist of its own putrid essence. This means that it is the exclusive, holy province of teenagers. Anyone else who dares speak it is inescapably an even bigger asshole than the fucktarded David Spade penis-nose under discussion.
Joining the slogans on T-shirts in the $2 bin at Walgreen’s, all McDonald’s ad copy, and ribbon-shaped car magnets, snarky is now the minion of Mediocrity, and would be, in a prettier world, execrated by anyone over whom Truth and Beauty still hold even the slightest sway.