As an insufferable know-it-all, I need to get this off my chest: until this morning, I would have lost a spelling bee over Kyrgyzstan. I also would have looked pretty silly trying to point it out on a map, having previously imagined it to be an island off the coast of Florida.
Thanks to the Internet, […]
Archive for March, 2005
Salade Niçoise: Lunch, Or Religious Experience?
Published March 24th, 2005 in Morsel Institute. 0 CommentsNiçoise salad with mesquite-grilled yellowfin tuna
France has contributed a thing or two to Western civilization.
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James Cameron is "somewhat offended" that closed-minded yokels can’t bear to hear the word "evolution" in a film.
So reporteth The NY Times (via IHT) with more butt-clenching, psychosis-inducing evidence that the world has gone off its nut. So far off its nut, in fact, that it can’t even see the nut anymore, because the nut […]
Just one of the vital accessories that separates the men from the boys in the cut-throat world of spinster auntdom.
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American Navy Pilot Has Head Up Ass
Published March 20th, 2005 in Morsel Institute and Patriarchy-blaming. 0 CommentsI cannot stop making Spaghetti Jilroy
I got outside this glowing bowl of noodles while contemplating some remarks delivered by an American navy pilot on This American Life. I was only half-listening to the program, but it caught my ear when the pilot said something about how easily he sleeps at night knowing he has dropped […]
A Few Dead Serious Remarks On The Preservation Of The American Pizza Pie
Published March 20th, 2005 in Morsel Institute. 2 CommentsTake & bake pepperoni pie from Central Market (augmented at home with onion, bell pepper, and parmesan) exhibits lameness on nearly every level: crust too thick, burned edges, gloppy center, failure to blister. Twisty wept.
A pizza must be the size of a salad plate. Its crust will be between 0.5 and 0.8 cm thick, a […]
As you know, because men’s professional sport reinforces tiresome
patriarchal mores, its scandals do not compute in the Twisty brain
without some outside help. I must express my gratitude to eloquent musician/journalist Dean Minderman, who has kindly clarified for me the Congressional Baseball Steroid Hubub. He was even good enough to word the explanation in my native […]
Twisty’s secret is out
I like readin’ Wonkette because salaried bloggers are the greatest! It’s remarkable how when a blog is subsidized by a professional, corporate blog-publishing entity famous for porn, gossip, and sleaze, the sad spelling errors and depressing posts that begin "sorry I haven’t blogged in a while…" just disappear!
But anyway, on Wonkette was […]
Our first course pales in comparison to The Modern Dance
Dinner at the Twisty Bungalow rarely admits distractions, least of all those by pretentious art-rock bands. So imagine my surprise when, while listening for the first time in 25 years to this delightful Pere Ubu record, I could only nibble at this delicious fresh fruit in […]
Hairless Handjobbing Adonii Give Twisty Creeps
Published March 17th, 2005 in Easy Persiflage. 1 CommentThe boys of Outsports: big jock puts big smile on little jock’s face.
Lord knows I dig John Aravosis’ Americablog–and not least because he turned me on to the blog of Margaret Cho. But crikey, this pair of fecund, semi-erect Hitler Youths, leering from an ad in John’s sidebar, they need to get a room.
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