The patriarchy-blaming blog is, ironically, a common destination for Google porn searches. The huge number of pervs looking for “mutilated women†and “corpse porn†is arresting, but I didn’t just roll off the Twisty truck yesterday, so it doesn’t surprise me. Other popular searches include assorted vulgarities that I appropriate from male supremacist discourse to […]
Archive for April, 2005
Profiles in Minionhood: The Penis Police
Published April 30th, 2005 in Austin and Patriarchy-blaming. 5 CommentsMeet Robert Talton, delusional Republican bureaucrat. Gaze upon his puffy pink jowls. Behold his vacuous wire-framed stare. Contemplate his insipid, sanctimonious pie-hole. Behind these thick, offensive features is congealed the pea-sized brain of the lowest form of life on Earth: the ignorant bigot.
Robert Talton is a dude out of whom the shit is scared by […]
So if you’re ever in a position to chuck a 25-pound baby up in the air and catch her again, and find that this is a rewarding experience because the tyke in question approves of it so effervescently so you do it a few more times, and then you do 40 laps at the pool, […]
Alabama psycho douchebag Gerald Allen
Just in case you missed it: this nutjob state senator in Alabama has actually introduced a bill to ban gay authors from public school libraries. So long, Virginia Woolf! Sayonara, Plato! What’s next, mandatory pink triangles? Out fucking rageous. From CBS News.
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A film about The Ramones–the band that popularized the “go start your own awful band†craze (and the concomitant brick wall band photo craze)–aired last night on PBS’ “Independent Lens.†Painful though it was, I watched all of it, and by “all of it†I of course mean "part of it.†I bailed at the […]
People dismiss bugs. This is a fatal mistake. Because without bugs, there’s nothing to eat your bugs.
Pictured above is another of the gajillion damselflies common to Central Texas, the jaunty female Argia apicalis, or blue-fronted dancer. Like most of the damselflies I chase around the Twisty Compound, this one was feasting on gnats galore, a […]
Adbusters: “Capitalism” Is The New “Rebellion”
Published April 25th, 2005 in Easy Persiflage and Patriarchy-blaming. 1 CommentIt’s TV Turn-Off Week again. I saw an ad for it on the Adbusters website. The culturejammers are going to go around turning off TVs in public places. Presumably they will do this using the $15 TV-B-Gones™ they bought after seeing TV-B-Gone™ ads on the Adbusters website.
Adbusters is against ads.
The Adbusters website also has ads […]
In a dramatic conclusion to the emergency conclave held last night at Twisty Palace, white smoke rose from the ashtray. I was elected pope by a slender margin (it is not generally known, but the cat voted against me). There were no nun-slaves to make me a banquet. I ate leftover Cripsy Tofu Suey Deluxe.
This […]
Fish (Sauce) Story
Back in my glamorous days as a highly-paid professional food writer in St. Louis, Missouri, Gateway To The West, my beat included the thousand little ethnic dives that any restaurant critic’s flesh is heir to: the Thai, Vietnamese, Korean, and Chinese joints lining the humbler streets of town. Readers of Midwestern newsweeklies, it […]
Here’s the story about the little Florida girl who was handcuffed by 3 cops after throwing a tantrum in kindergarten. It is, in many respects, the story of douchebags.
My inability to consistently find other peoples’ children adorable is no secret. But any real antipathy I reserve entirely for the parents; bratty kids are just hapless […]
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