My Adorable Salad

Micro-green salad (tatsoi, mustard, kohlrabi) with blood orange vinaigrette

Somewhere in Dripping Springs, Texas is a giant greenhouse called Bella Verdi Farms. At Bella Verdi Farms they hydroponically and organically and sanitarily and prophylactically grow what is known in the salad industry as “micro-greens.” I have formed a passionate attachment to these micro-greens.

Micro-greens, in case you don’t keep up with cutting-edge trends in the cut-throat world of salad development, are seedling vegetables. By which I mean, they are harvested as soon as they have sprouted a couple of leaves. This makes them teensy and adorable to behold, but don’t hold that against them; each little shoot erupts on the tongue with a fervid piquancy that until now existed only in your wildest nocturnal vegetable fantasies. The flavor shocks and amazes.

“Woobwoobwoobwoobwoob!” was the official statement I issued after my first taste.

Because the universe is indifferent to me and to you — a condition which is often misinterpreted by humans as “life is unfair” or “God is punishing me” — there is, of course a downside. It turns out that micro-greens are insanely expensive, particularly when you consider that they contain few, if any, psychoactive properties. For example, a nickel bag, pictured above, weighs in at less than 2 ounces. That puts the stuff at about $50 a pound.

But I don’t care! I’ve never felt so alive!

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