Apr 19 2005

Twisty Celebrates the Conclave!


Fettucine with carmelized garlic and artichokes

Here at the Twisty Morsel Institute, we’re doffing our terrycloth golf visor to the end of this fucking tedious-ass PopeWatch by eating what Romans eat. We’re also hoisting a cup of wassail to the speedy excision of the words black smoke, white smoke, and conclave from our midst.

Here’s to our bright new life, where TV pundits who take medieval Catholic hokum seriously are back to being as unpopular as they used to be!

The Romanesque dish to which I allude, fettucine with carmelized garlic and artichokes, contains too much garlic. One of the many advantages to the madcap life of a spinster aunt is that she can eat too much garlic as often as she wants. She pities the fool who tries doing that in some draining codependent relationship!

What you do is, you get a giant purplish (Purplish! Is that a word or what!) artichoke and peel it down to its heart, which you then slice up. These slices you sauté in olive oil with too many cloves of garlic, over very low heat, for around a half an hour. When everything’s nice and brown, deglaze the pan with white wine, and chuck in some half & half and parmesan. Then you watch yesterday’s Daily Show.


  1. frobisher

    Dried of fresh Fettucine? what is half and half? Love & Kisses. Frobisher.

  2. Twisty

    Dear Frobisher,

    If it turns out that it’s dinner time and I have forgotten to make fresh pasta, do I plunge into a deep depression or cut myself with razor blades? No, I do not. I use whatever form of fettucine I have lying around. Except the dried green kind. That stuff tastes like crap.

    “Half & half” is American for “single cream.”

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