Apr 23 2005

Douchebags On Parade


Here’s the story about the little Florida girl who was handcuffed by 3 cops after throwing a tantrum in kindergarten. It is, in many respects, the story of douchebags.

My inability to consistently find other peoples’ children adorable is no secret. But any real antipathy I reserve entirely for the parents; bratty kids are just hapless flotsam in the churning whirl of their self-absorbed parents’ neuroses.

Watching the video of this cherub having her little fit, I have three thoughts. One: all the adults in her life are  douchebags. Two: I admire her outlaw attitude and fuck-the-establishment spirit. Three: sadly, the Establishment does not allow little black girls to fuck it for long.

That’s right. Patriarchy’s douchebag minions are on the job! To wit:

Americablogger and liberal activist John Aravosis diagnoses the terrified tyke–who gets yanked from her chair by armed enforcers and is fucking handcuffed like a criminal while a crowd of her teachers stands obediently by–as “truly the bitch from hell.”

I mean, dude. She’s five.

Some of the other charming comments in the related thread on Aravosis’ supposedly progressive blog reveal how thoroughly the sacred violent misogynist ideals of the neocon movement have been absorbed by its second-most-hated enemy, the lefty fags. A sample:

  • Maybe the Supreme Court will bring back execution for minors. At the very least, they should have tazored the little monster.
  • This kid needed a extra large can of Whoop Ass opened on her. What a little bitch!
  • I’d make that little Jezebel wish she’d never been born
  • And sorry, being a liberal doesn’t mean you should view that little demon as a victim!
  • You want to jump off the table and break your neck? Here, let me help you!
  • I would have smacked that little girl hard.

Way to spread the hate, liberal douchebags! It’s lovely to inhabit a world where a 5-year-old girl is a "bitch" and a "Jezebel" just for bucking the system.

Ordinarily I would blame the patriarchy, but in this case I think at least some of the credit has to go to plain old meanness.


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  1. weirdpixie

    Ya know…

    IMHO, Florida can just take the whole f*cking south with them and get outta dodge. They can have the name ‘Amerkuh’ too if they want it that badly, just so long as they take Bubba-Jeb with ’em. Just cut off the whole damned state and float away. Far away. Things like this are prime examples of why humanity is heading down the flusher. That poor kid. I can’t help but wonder if such treatment would have been given to a white child.

    Thanks for hosting this excellent blog, I’ve really been enjoying it a lot.

  2. Twisty

    You cleverly raise the point I didn’t have time to raise, but which the more I think about it is absolutely the crux of the issue: racism. There is no doubt whatsover that society in general values 5-year-old black female children the least of any children. So it stands to reason that whenever white cops brutalize a 5-year-old female black child, they’re taking their racism out for a bit of invigorating exercise. Deep down they believe the kid is less human than they are.

    I sympathize with your frustration over idiots and idiocies of Southern origin (starting with W stealing the election!), but I disagree that dismissing all Southerners as fanatics is the answer. Plenty of worthy folks live in the South, and plenty of assholes inhabit the so-called blue states. Racist cops are everywhere. Remember Abner Louima, the Haitian who was tortured while in custody of the NYC police? And of course, the mutha of all racially-motivated police brutality cases, the Rodney King beating, took place not in Mississippi but in L.A.


    P.S. Thanks for the nice compliment!

  3. weirdpixie

    Yep, you are right. I guess I just truncated my point about the South because I was overheated from the reaction I had to this incident.

    But you’re right, Twisty. Racism is everywhere, unfortunately. Not just in the South. In fact, right here where I live near Oakland, there have been several race riots over the past few years. I also have friends and family living in various southern states where cool and interesting things are happening amidst all of the problems. It’s all relative. Good that you brought that up.

    I appreciate your response to my comments. I posted a link to this over at my blog after reading about it here. You might be interested in some of the comments it generated.

  4. David

    Thank goodness for a voice of sanity. Some of the rubbish I’ve read on this case has been incredible.

    Incidentally, from what I could see from the video she was actually fairly calm just before the police arrived so there isn’t even the justification that some have made ie that it was for her own safety to prevent her hurting herself. Nor (from the video again) was her behaviour that bad in the first place.

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