Hey Perv! Yeah, You!

Google_search

The patriarchy-blaming blog is, ironically, a common destination for Google porn searches. The huge number of pervs looking for “mutilated women” and “corpse porn” is arresting, but I didn’t just roll off the Twisty truck yesterday, so it doesn’t surprise me. Other popular searches include assorted vulgarities that I appropriate from male supremacist discourse to amplify my limping rhetorical whispers. Strung together in a Google search field, stripped of their patriarchy-blaming context, the zeitgeist of the internet imbues them with a throbbing crassness:

Head Up Ass
Super + Fucking
USSR 12 BORE DELUXE MODEL GUN

I mention all this because today, nestled among the old blog stats, there was a string of search words so sad, so delusional, that I can’t even begin to describe the hairball of ick that gagged me as I read it: “beautiful girls lovingly showing their vaginas.”

I so blame the patriarchy for the existence in even one insane human brain so repellent a conflation of conflicting concepts! It would have just been run-of-the-mill misogyny except for the inclusion of the word "lovingly." Lovingly! Lovingly! Doesn’t this retard know that love means never having to show your vagina to greasy creeps on the internet?

Another thing I blame the patriarchy for is that the language of patriarchy-blaming is, according to Google, anyway, the language of patriarchy itself.

I am currently making Homer Simpson’s shudder noise.

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You are reading I Blame The Patriarchy, the patriarchy-blaming blog that advances the radical feminist views of Twisty Faster, a gentleman farmer and spinster aunt eating dinner in Austin, Texas.

I Blame The Patriarchy is intended for advanced patriarchy-blamers. It is not a feminist primer. See Patriarchy-Blaming the Twisty Way for details.

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