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May 02 2005

Sarcasm In The Morning

Photo of frozen block of minestrone died with lapsed Typepad account

Twisty thaws out a quick block of frozen minestrone

Another frozen block of soup for breakfast. Who has time to make eggs Benedict when there’s so much mocking to be done?

For example, PBS is being taken over by the White House. The Republican chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, who honed his chops for this post while serving as the editor of cutting edge literary review Reader’s Digest, is all et up inside about PBS’s unholy liberal bias. So he’s installing on its staff a bunch of Republicans and scheduling a show hosted by a dude from the Wall Street Journal. Hopefully this will keep godless public television terrorists like Bill Moyers and Tinky Winky and those ambiguously gendered Keno twins from inciting more anti-Bush sedition.

One can sympathize. On no other channel are you as likely to see such over-the-top radical iconoclasm. Take “Masterpiece Theater.” So many demure British women in corsets! Just think of the right-wing hard-ons! No wait, don’t!

And programs based on those Agatha Christie novels with the clever detectives Poirot and Miss Marple; their braininess must totally alienate the poor Lord-lovin American yokels who so regularly turn to PBS for to see how much grampaw’s scrimshaw spitoon is worth in today’s market.

And how about that reality show where they take modern, enlightened people and send them back in time to live off the land? I tell you whut, those muthas are partyin’ like it’s 1699! More racy corsets! Plus, some of the women on this show openly object to their roles as serving wenches. It’s almost like they’re taking a feminist view!

Anyway,

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about frozen blocks of soup.

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