Mocking this one’s a little like shooting fish in a barrel, but what the hell, hereâ€™s a little problemo with the sexy cheerleader bill:
"Girls can get out and do all of these overly sexually performances and we applaud them, and that’s not right," said Democratic Rep. Al Edwards, who filed the legislation.â€œ
Do you see it? Do you cleverly spot the flaw? Al Edwards, mouthpiece for the douchebag patriarchy, is employing a popular misogynist gambit: blaming girls for fucked-up male responses to them. So a squad of female dancers is responsible for an epidemic of teen pregnancy and VD, eh? Excuse me, but somebody needs to explain the birds and the bees to these chump legislators.
Letâ€™s review, shall we? A girl canâ€™t get knocked up by dancing. Not even by dancing suggestively. Not even by dancing suggestively in a short skirt. Not even by dancing suggestively with other girls in short skirts while state reps applaud them even though they think itâ€™s not right. Not even by being in the audience when girls in short skirts are dancing suggestively and being applauded.
Not even if she–and Iâ€™m sorry to use such strong language–gyrates.
Nope, a girl can only get pregnant when a boy screws her. Cheerleading, it turns out, plays no role whatsoever in the human reproductive cycle. I asked a biologist!
So how about it? Let the girls gyrate all they want, and lock up the friggin teenage boys. As Fran Leibowitz says, a modern, non-agrarian society really doesnâ€™t have any use for them anyway.