May 14 2005

Sex-Obsessed Born-Again Psychopath Controls Your Uterus

Uterus: a wholly-owned subsidiary of the patriarchy

What do you call a white male evangelical gynecologist/perv who pays his abused wife to let him make videos of him fucking her up the ass and rapes her when she is passed out in a narcoleptic fit,  yet publicly claims he has been “called” by “God” to pronounce on ethical and moral issues and to prevent women from having access to emergency contraception?

I call him toenail fungus. Others call him Dr. W. David Hager, Bush appointee (quelle surprise) to the FDA’s Advisory Committee for Reproductive Health Drugs.

You want to know why I’m late with my Hager-mocking remarks? It’s because the whole disgusting story has left me utterly speechless. It’s just so far beyond the pale that it can’t even see the pale anymore. Meanwhile, as I have staggered through the last few days in stunned silence,  Hager’s become a bona fide meme. Just in case you haven’t read “Dr. Hager’s Family Values” in The Nation, there’s no time like the present. In this article we discover that Janice Shaw Crouse, a Concerned Woman For America, describes Hager as “a gentleman,” and as having “shown that he does care about women regardless of…the [religious] issues that people want to try to raise.”

We also learn that Hager cares about women so much that he gentlemannishly sodomized his wife for seven years. He has written several books on women’s “health” in which he recommends that women read the 2000-year-old misogynist palaver of barbarians (a.k.a. “Scripture”) as a cure for postpartum depression and bulimia. An abusive control freak and delusional jesusbag, Hager is, according to himself, single-handedly responsible for putting the kibosh on over-the-counter sales of Plan B. He alludes with a straight face to Satan, a fictional character he appears to believe is real, as having been instrumental in the death of Plan B.

Hager’s appointment to an office in which he holds sway over the reproductive lives of millions of women automatically renews in June.

I tell you whut, I’ve got Hager-limia. Every time I hear his name I wanna throw up.

Fun fact #1: This isn’t the first time fucktard rapist W. David Hager has achieved notoriety via Internet memehood. After the 2004 elections, the desperate anti-Hager email petition of 2003 began popping up again, even though it was sorely outdated. The post-electional moment to which I allude is the one where the rational segment of society took its head out of its ass for the very first time since 9/11. Whereupon they noticed that the jesusbags were running things. And then they threw up. It’s too bad that throwing up doesn’t get misogynist fucktards the hell out of policy-making positions.

Note to self: get treatment for that Hagerlimia. Scripture just isn’t working!

Fun fact #2: Hager is a graduate of the University of Kentucky, the med school famous for belching into the misogynosphere such imbecilic fucktards as Dr. James Guiler. Remember this asshole? He’s the one who got busted for branding his patients’ uteruses with the initials “UK,”  his dear old alma mater.

Jesus Fucking Christ, why the fuck do they even let men practice ob/gyn? In a patrirachy, any male, straight or gay, with a professional interest in uteruses has to have a head full of dicksmoke. I mean, come on.


  1. susan/holdingpattern

    I too have been diagnosed with Hager-limia. Another blogger’s entry (not mine) that is related and might interest you: http://chezmiscarriage.blogs.com/chezmiscarriage/2005/05/people_and_stat.html

  2. Twisty

    Thanks for the tip. Most enlightening.

  3. Helen Sonsoles

    Twisty, I love you. This guy is a hypocrite. He needs to read his bible. My mom would love this post!

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