Peeping tom/gynocidal maniac/supermodel Herc prepares to loose his manly prong in a Xena outfit
Because there’s just not enough white male supremacy kickin’ it old school in my life, last night I watched half an hour of an acutely retarded tool-of-the-patriarchy movie. You may have seen some of it too, before switching for the sake of […]
Archive for May, 2005
To Whomever Is Missing Three Burros Near Johnson City
Published May 16th, 2005 in El Rancho Deluxe. 2 CommentsMystery burro #2 (not pictured: mystery burros1 and 3)
I have your burros. Please come and get them, as they are scaring away all the coral snakes. Thank you.
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Here is a funny joke that my friend Midge has played on me. She’s got quite the sense of humor, that one. Warning: this monty is semi-full.
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Immature male Eastern pondhawk (Erythemis simplicicollis), photographed by the Twisty Odonata Department May 15, 2005 in North South Austin
My favorite dragonfly. They look like this when they grow up.
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Clams Deluxe à la Zilker
I am pleased to announce that I have finally perfected Clams Deluxe à la Zilker. The dish has it all. Tragedy, comedy, the picturesque, the sublime, pathos, ethos, and garlic.
What you do is, you get out your giant soup pot and sauté in olive oil some of the emergency Savoie’s tasso […]
Punishment on a plate: smoked turkey on sunflower seed bread with avocado, scallion, arugula, and chile-lime mayo
Why did I eat this thing? I know not, for the spectacle of a turkey sandwich at high noon sends me into spasms of ennui. That’s right. I am an anti-turkite.
For this, as for so many things, I blame […]
Sex-Obsessed Born-Again Psychopath Controls Your Uterus
Published May 14th, 2005 in Patriarchy-blaming. 3 CommentsUterus: a wholly-owned subsidiary of the patriarchy
What do you call a white male evangelical gynecologist/perv who pays his abused wife to let him make videos of him fucking her up the ass and rapes her when she is passed out in a narcoleptic fit, yet publicly claims he has been “called†by “God†to pronounce […]
House Armed Services Committee Lacks Clue Re: Sexist Piggery
Published May 13th, 2005 in Patriarchy-blaming. 4 CommentsPic copped from Jewish World Review
Outside of art museums and Wal-Mart, the military is about as bloatedly patriarchal an institution as exists. So when there’s a bill afoot that would restrict certain people, based on their reproductive organs, from participating, via the military, in the killing and raping and pillaging ordered by our “theocratic regime […]
El capo de Guesto. photo Christopher Guest
After the brisk 10-foot walk from the coffee machine to my desk, I settled in for my first perusal of the Huff-Po. I was hoping to get, as a guy in my midst recently sniffed with no small imperiousness, “political advice from a celebrity†because lard knows a spinster […]
Smoked Salad and Hillbilly Music
Published May 10th, 2005 in Morsel Institute, Easy Persiflage and Austin. 0 CommentsDinner last night was this vulgar carry-out Chopped Cobb Salad from EZ’s, a garishly-decorated strip-mall burger joint filled with screaming kids. Their cobb salad is a decent box of morsels, in a junk-food sort of way, especially when washed down a glass of 2002 Ecole No. 41 cab and an order of onion rings (although […]
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