This is Fletchy. He is a 6-month-old Golden Retriever puppy. He was purchased from a hunter in San Antonio who thinks he is a gun dog breeder. This hunter, a redneck and a douchebag, had the bright idea of putting a plastic zip-tie around the puppy’s neck for a collar. "Set it and forget it!" was his motto. And he didn’t give that zip-tie another thought, apparently oblivious to the fact that puppies, you know, grow. Several weeks went by. By the time young Fletchy was rescued from this fucktard, the plastic zip-tie had done all the gross things you are imagining.
What makes this offensive episode even more appalling is that the redneck hunter turned out to have a day job as a licensed medical doctor working in an actual emergency room. Howdja like to show up on that guy’s gurney with an obstructed windpipe?
I disgorge this sad story that I might publicly marvel at the astonishing stupidity and depravity of which even supposedly educated people are capable. I wonder if the cruel redneck ER hunter graduated from KU, the school that produced not only the infamous uterus-brander, but the despicable Bush appointee and rapist W. David Hager. The existence of all three of these guys is what makes the Bush administration’s insistence on laying the blame for Abu Ghraib on those few non-commissioned yokels such a joke. Indifference to suffering is not just a disease of an ignorant few. It’s everywhere.
Fletchy, by the way, is now living happily in a fake Tuscan villa in Barton Creek. He has made a full recovery and shows great promise as an airborn Frisbee-catcher. I’ll be watching his future career with considerable interest and a wide-angle lens.