Jun 04 2005

Press Celebrates Lost Art


Deep Throat Deep Throat  Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat Deep Throat

OK. Get over Deep Throat already.

Because, hey mainstream press! History ≠ News! Seriously! Look it up!

Does nobody see the irony? Has the absurdity of this nostalgic outburst simply wafted into the aether unremarked?

Sure, it’s nice that once, 30 years ago, when it exposed the felonious conduct of a sweaty president, the press seemed actually to have done its job. But spending a week in 2005 congratulating itself for this ancient accomplishment, especially when the performance of its self-promotional bloviations entails ceaseless repetition of the obnoxious phrase “deep throat,” and even more especially when the very thing it’s congratulating itself for is precisely what no mainstream news organization today would dream of touching with a 10-foot pole, not for all the hookers and crack in China, well, it’s just surreal. It’s not like there aren’t 14,694 sinister doings going on right now that could use some looking-into.

But wait, I have an idea. How’s about a couple of you reporter chumps nip over to the White House and get us some nice damning evidence–video of Jesus bitch-slapping W with the left hand of God would be nice–that will lead to his impeachment? I think they used to call it “investigative journalism.” Think how nice it would be to get your presidency-toppling out of the way now, so that in 30 years, you can fiddle with impunity while Rome burns.


  1. Jim McCulloch

    In an alternate universe, with a real press, Mr. Bush might indeed be impeached for lying about WMDs and who knows what else. But that universe is almost as discouraging as the present one, in that if you impeach the puppet, that leaves the puppet-master in charge. Now if you could gather evidence to impeach both at once, now there’s a job for a free press.

  2. Twisty

    I’m no constitutional lawyer, and certainly no charter member of the Dick Cheney Fan club, but it seems to me that if a case can be made for impeachment, it should be made. If it sticks the free world with Dick for a year or two, well, maybe voters will wake up and smell the coffee next election. But somehow I doubt he’d end up smelling too much like a rose after the dust settled.

  3. Mark Felt was also involved in COINTELPRO, back before spying on innocent citizens and infiltrating peace groups was cool. He’s old-school.

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