Jun 14 2005

Unpatriotic Marriage


A few years ago, when I quit the glamorous whirl of local rock stardom to begin my life of taco-based seclusion, topping my list of Things I Definitely Never Want To Have To Look At Again, Let Alone Smell was “drunk guys.” Oh sure, they’re cute when they’re young, but experience shows that their bitter self-hatred soon develops a galloping bad odor. Even if you’ve never spent years of your life onstage in rock clubs being exhorted to show us your tits, chances are that at some point you have been close enough to a drunk guy to catch a whiff. Possibly when he was shoving you into a wall.

So I can well understand why, according to The Independent (link via Feministing), young Russian women are flocking in apparent droves to marry foreign men, particularly Chinese, who “tend to drink far less” than the locals. Of course, the shitfaced Russian male isn’t the thrust of the article, which chiefly concerns itself with a spectacular bit of misogyny currently making its way through the Duma. You guessed it! It’s a bill designed to put an end to marriage-related hot Russian chick attrition. How? By punishing women!

It’s nice to see that misogyny in post-Soviet Russia is unimpeded by any pesky aversion to Stalin’s Greatest Hits. Invoking the fine old tradition of the pedestal-prison, Russian fucktard MP Nikolai Kuryanovich says “Our wonderful women are the best in the world. Wherever I have been, I have rarely seen beautiful girls, only in Russia…” Then he freaks out about how their marriage to non-Russians “squanders” the “gene pool.” Citing the always-popular “purity of the race” argument, his asinine bill would strip women marriage-traitors of their citizenship and assets.

Homelessness, marginalization, and penury: making drunk asshole husbands indispensable since 44000 BCE.


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  1. The Bear

    For a woman who hates men you are pretty funny! Thanks for posting this….I will get my order in for a Russian bride immediately.

  2. Jim McCulloch

    Speaking of pedestal prisons, have you read about what’s just happened with Mukhtaran Bibi? Her assailants are now free, and she has been disappeared into a “safe house” for her own good under orders from Pakistan president Pervez Musharraf. Nicholas the buffoon Kristof has a column today expressing his horror that President Musharraf, in whom he had invested such high hopes, would behave so thuggishly. For shame, says Nick.

  3. Kameron Hurley

    Didn’t occur to them to start a program that would encourage “better” behavior in Russian men, you know, so they’d be more desirable (non-drunk, non-violent men can be really hot)?


    Naw, that would be too much like treating men as if they were *women*, fully responsible for their own behavior.

    Can’t stand for that.

  4. AndiF

    Yet another reason to be delighted (on my good days I rank my getting implanted in a uterus wall as the best reason) that all four of my grandparents get the hell out of Russia.

  5. Twisty

    No shit. You know, sometimes–and I know this is hard to believe–but sometimes, I get the feeling that patriarchy sort of sucks!

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