Fried shrimp tacos at Chango. I have not sworn off’em, but I probably should.
One thing that’s really fun to do is, to mock the comments made by goobers on other peoples’ blogs. So let’s get started!
If you regularly make the rounds of the feminist blog circuit you have probably heard about the women-only Kenyan village of rape survivors. These are some go-to gals who’ve conquered adversity and enjoy a certain economic success. As a result, their village has been summarily attacked, ostensibly for no reason other than profound insecurity, by club-wielding dudes from the neighboring burg. Bitch.PhD, noting the enthusiastic male mania for keepin’ a sista down, was moved to remark, “It’s stories like this that tempt one to swear off men forever. What assholes.”
Uh oh. She said “swear off men.” Not only that, she said “forever.” Not only that, she called the men “assholes.”
It is a blatant heresy and and a sin against patriarchy even to hint at the possibility that a woman might consider men irrelevant to her pursuit of fulfillment, and an even blatanter heresy and a sinnier sin against patriarchy to intimate that the patriarchal ethos is, perhaps, not fundamentally dissimilar to that part of the human body that excretes shit. So I am not even a teeny bit surprised that certain of Dr. B’s male readers have taken exception (of course, they are posting on a feminist blog, so they are careful to condescend rather than to aggressively antagonize, possibly imagining that feminists won’t realize they’re being patronized if nobody’s actually called them “cunts.”). Some suggest gently that the “better resolution” is not to swear off men, but to “swear off assholes.” The known existence of female assholes is trotted out, ostensibly to even the score, although the comment fails to include any evidence that hordes of raging feminists have attacked Dudeville with clubs. Funniest of all is one class-conscious commenter who wonders “[...] did you just make a generalization to [sic] ALL men based on the actions of a bunch of guys who live in dung huts?”
Showing remarkable restraint, Dr. B undertakes to suffer none of this bullshit: “With all due respect, the fact that your primary response to this situation is to worry that you’re somehow being insulted does, I’m sorry, reveal the same kind of self-centered world view demonstrated by the men who feel threatened by the women setting up on their own.”
She said “swear off men.” She can say whatever she likes, of course, and although she has made it abundantly clear that she has not sequestered herself on GuysMakeMePuke Island, she accurately points out that this fact of her personal life is irrelevant. But here’s my question: so what if she were to advocate swearing off men for real? That’s not a legitimate choice? Because, check this out:
What if every time you ate fried shrimp tacos you got sick? I’m not even saying that the tacos are starting to get a little bossy, or even leering at you suggestively, just that you aren’t quite yourself after you eat’em. Or what if you just never liked fried shrimp tacos to begin with? What if you just prefer foie gras? Should you not then swear off fried shrimp tacos? Are the shrimps going to get huffy and take offense at your failure to be inclusive?
A human being is free to keep the company of whatever tacos she likes. Swearing off men is not an act of aggression.