Aug 04 2005

Suggestions For Comments

Tuna salad, Frog style

A little less of this, please:
“You are a total idiot. And this is coming from a woman.”

And a little more of this:
“Twisty, you’re brilliant. I would so make out with you.”


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  1. larkspur

    OMG, you are brilliant. Feed me! Then we’ll go to my bunk, mk?

  2. /b

    Twisty, you’re brilliant! I would so make out with you.

  3. Anonymous

    Honestly, if someone gets their tightie whities all bunched up because of your blog, there is a very simple solution. Don’t read it! I’m sure they would be comfortable in the 99.9% of the interweb that is patriarchy friendly.

    You are sarcastically brilliant. You can cook. What’s not to love?

  4. bitchphd

    Twisty, you are brilliant. I would so make out with you.

    But only if you made me dinner first. Because we chicks don’t just put out for free, you know.


  5. ae

    Twisty, you are brilliant. I would so make out with you, and I don’t even need that salad first.

    (After would be just fine.)

  6. Erin

    You make me hungry. All I want to do now is go home and cook. And my house isn’t air conditioned. And it’s already ninety degrees outside at 11:15.

    What is in the vinaigrette? I just tried a new recipe, but it was not the vinaigrette I wanted it to be. Ah well, a girl needs a dream to pursue, right?

  7. sylvanite

    Holy crap, that looks delicious! And my lunch is going to be so dismal. Sigh. Twisty, you are brilliant and obviously both a talented chef and photographer!

  8. Twisty

    That’s what I’m talkin about! You guys catch on quick!

    Meanwhile, the Twisty Vinaigrette, known throughout Europe as la Méthode Twistienne, she never fails.

    1. Get a Susi garlic press.
    2. Press, with your Susi, a clove of garlic into a small bowl.
    3. Add a tablespoon of your favorite vinegar to the garlic. Let it sit 10 minutes.
    4. Dip a dinner fork into a jar of Grey Poupon, two-thirds of the way up the tines. Stir this into the vinegar and garlic.
    5. Toss salad with super-good olive oyl.
    6. Salt and pepper salad. Mix again.
    7. Distribute vinegar mixture over salad.
    8. Mix again.
    9. Push into face.

  9. LeisureGuy

    Cutting directly to the point, as is my wont, I have to say that I prefer the Zyliss garlic press. And the Zyliss pizza cutter is an invention inspired by the God of Pizza(TM).

    Regarding the blog, I’m a regular reader, but I still have my own personal problems with absolute statements (of the general intent “All A is B”), especially when some A is not B, but I’m working with it.

    Look at it this way: At least you get comments. :)

  10. nina

    Oh, man! I hope I’m not too late for the Twisty make-out party. You are brilliant and I will make you tacos first and then make out with you, and not complain about your onion-cilantro breath.

  11. Twisty

    LeisureGuy, Zyliss now makes the Susi. See how easy it is to disagree about stuff we actually agree about?

    Yay garlic!

  12. Anonymous

    Twisty, you’re brilliant. I would so make out with you.

    But I don’t intend this statement to be an imposition of heterosexual norms, and I don’t mean to devalue ‘brilliance’ by that, in women, it’s a category that only enhances sexual attractiveness. And I don’t mean to imply or demand consent to ‘making out’, simply to express my preference for ‘making out’ and, ultimately, leave the decision as to whether we ‘make out’ up to you and oh hell this patriarchy blaming stuff is hard I need a drink.

    — ACS

    P.S. Mmm salad.

  13. Erin

    I have a Susi garlic press! I am part of the way there already. New question: How do you get the diacritics to show up in Methode Twistienne?

  14. deana jo

    delish food…good fun..great opinions..what’s not to love?

  15. Mistress

    Holy gee! Does that mean that I’ve made the model comment? I feel so goddamn special . . . .

    And yeah, I’d still make out with you and your mad culinary skillz. Your mind is so goddamn sexy I’d shag you rotten regardless of any external factors.

  16. Twisty

    Erin, there’s this little key sequence, but it’s for Mac OS. I have no idea how this is done on those other computers. Anyway. Clicking “option” turns on diacriticals on the Mac keyboard. Option E turns on the accent aigu; the accent will then attach itself to any vowel you type afterward. For example, to type the “ú” in “fúcktárd,” I pressed “option” then “e” then “u”: ú!

    Et voilà!

  17. ae

    Oooh, Twisty, do umlauts!

    P.S. I have a Zyliss g. press. Will this suffice, or do I need to run out and buy a Susi since they’re made by Zyliss anyway?? Ack! [Love makes one do strange things, ’tis true.]

  18. alphabitch

    Twisty, you are brilliant! I would so totally make out with you. And this is coming from a woman. I can’t find my garlic press, though. I think I threw it in the trash by mistake in a fit of tidiness. The other night I had to smash the garlic with the olive oil bottle and then mince it & smush it some more with the chef’s knife. Worked pretty well, actually.

  19. Tony Patti

    You already know how much I love you, but it is a pure, chaste love, not unlike that of a spinster aunt for her new puppy. And mixed with a kind of awe and amazement at your skills.

    It would probably be more apt to say my love for you is like that of a puppy for his spinster aunt owner. And I’m very pleased that the blogosphere is humming with acolytes ready to make out with you should you so desire, since you are so beautiful. The other day I was at Marcia’s house helping destroy her computer by trying to upgrade it and we both were a little sad, missing you. We all miss you!

    PS Marcia’s computer was fixed at the shop. She easily forgave me, but I’m still a little mad at myself…

  20. LeisureGuy

    A common way to peel garlic is to crush the unpeeled clove with the side of the chef’s knife. The peel then comes off easily (especially if you previously cut off the little part where the clove attached to the bulb) and the clove, being crushed, is already mostly chopped. Of course, one doesn’t chop it too fine, otherwise the little bursts of garlic taste are lost. (This is why I mostly chop garlic instead of crushing it.)

    Didn’t realize Susi press was made by Zyliss. I’m always learning.

  21. Wordlackey

    I hang my head in shame. Twisty, you are brilliant but I would NOT so make out with you. One, I’m under the impression that a patriarchy-blaming spinster aunt wouldn’t, um, be into it with me. And I respect that.

    Two, your brilliance is so incandescent, I’m afraid of getting burned. And I’m cautious about these things.

    You’ll just have to settle for me saying you’re brilliant and the most incisive wit I’m currently reading online. In the common vernacular, “You go, girl!”

  22. chris

    Oh Madam Twisty, you are indeed brilliant and make-out-alicious. And this is coming from a gay man.

    Erin, on a PC to get the diacritics you have two options: get a Mac and make it easy or use ALT-codes. to get á, press and hold ALT and type 0225; for é, ALT+0233, è: ALT+0232, í:0237, ó:0243, ú:0250. If you play around you can find fun characters like the thorn: Þ:0222

  23. Nikki

    Twisty, you’re brilliant. I would so totally make out with you. And this coming from one who feels like an idiot when I read your eloquent rants and every well turned phrase. My rants come out with cuss words, but yours are beautiful works of art. I want to be you when I grow up. Am I qualified to call myself a spinster aunt at the age of 30 if everyone else in the family reproduces before the age of 23, and I’m still living and loving the single life?

    To hell with making out; I would so totally go all the way with you.

  24. Lauren

    I would totally do it with you, but I’d probably have to be the dom since you’re smarter than me and I need to compensate.

  25. WookieMonster

    Twisty, you are incredibly brilliant. And I would so totally make out with you, in spite of the fact that I’m pretty much straight.

  26. sarah irene

    I would so make out with you. And this is coming from a woman.

  27. Ron O.

    I want to join the makeout party! The hor’s d’oeuvres are fabulous and the company charming.

  28. Rene

    Food, schmood. I want more puppie porn! Don’t hold out on the Bertie snaps, please. Please!

  29. Chris Clarke

    Twisty, your brilliance outshines the nuclear explosion in my head when I read Little Green Footballs, and I would so make out with you – pending your express and unambiguous consent.

  30. norbizness

    Twisty, I would so make out with you, even if you were a total idiot, and this is coming from a tuna salad.

  31. SF Knitter

    Only a tool of the patriarchy would not make out with you, that’s how brilliant you are.

  32. Anonymous

    I enjoy the reading a lot more than the making-out with.

  33. Miranda

    I forgot to sign in earlier when I left my comment, but would totally make out with you. So much intelligence and wit, how could anyone resist?

  34. Amanda

    Twisty, you are brillant and I would so make out with you. And have your babies. As long as they were cute puppies.

  35. magpie

    twisty, you’re brilliant. i would not just totally make out with you — i’d marry you. and then make out with you lots more.

  36. Mistress

    Did anyone else hear about that farm in Enumclaw, Washington? Bestiality isn’t illegal in Washington and there was/is this farm dedicated to its enjoyment. But then some 45 year old guy died of a perforated colon because he tried to take 2 feet of horse cock up the ass.

  37. Sean M

    Twisty, you’re totally brilliant. In lieu of the make-out comments, I would like to mention that you’re too much rock for one hand.

  38. BritGirlSF

    I would totally make out with you as long as you feed me!
    Does this mean I get to pet Bertie?

  39. Anonymous

    Tuna salad “FROG” style!!!! I can’t wait for Fried Chicken “NIGGER” style. Or is racism subjective?

  40. Twisty

    OK, you can stop now! Holy moly, if I’d known this bit was gonna bust open the floodgates of gratuitous external validation-cum-mono epidemic I would’ve saved it for that week at the beginning of winter when I traditionally take to my bed in a fit of anguished nostalgia for my lost youth, crushed dreams, and non-genetically-engineered peaches.

    You guys are splendid.

  41. Erin

    Winter’s the best time for making out! Ask again then.

  42. Nikki

    I know the French may, at times, seem like they’re from a different planet, however, I don’t believe they currently qualify as a distinct race. Maybe they’d like it, but I don’t believe it has come to pass that there’s now a French racial designation. Perhaps our anonymous friend would like to pick a different -ism to accuse Twisty of.

    I know I shouldn’t respond to trolls, but there’s something sort of fun about imagining the French being their own race.

  43. res publica

    Twisty, you are brilliant, and I would totally make out with you. My cat feels the same way.

  44. AndiF


    You are so brilliant and magnificent that I would love and admire you even if you didn’t have the darling puppy, the amazing expresso machine, and the drool-inducing food photographs. But wait there’s more — you are brilliant and magnificent and you do have a darling puppy, an amazing expresso machine, and drool-inducing food photographs!

  45. yankee transplant

    Twisty, you are brilliant. I would so make out with you, and I would recommend that the entire state of Tennessee get in line to do the same.

  46. Flamethorn

    Twisty, you’re brilliant. I would so make out with you. And this is coming from a woman.

  47. Sheelzebub

    Twisty, your brilliance and your salad makes me hungry. I think I love you. And that’s coming from a demon.

  48. TeenageCatgirl

    Twisty, you are brilliant, I might make out with you, but I have a headache.

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