Aug 09 2005

Raising A Pansy?

I enjoyed the heck out of Norbizness’ scholarly advice on how to address “prehomosexual tendencies” in your young son and heir, and you will, too! Like Focus On Family sez: Don’t wait until your daughter’s masculinized behavior or your son’s effeminate preferences get any worse!


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  1. WookieMonster

    There is the cutest french movie Ma Vie en Rose (I’m sure my French spelling is horrible) about a little boy who is sure he’s really a girl.

  2. Kelley

    “Effeminate behavior” Is Dr. Dumbass (aka James Dobson) suggesting men that behaving like a female is a bad thing? When did our behaviour become taboo? Granted, woment typically tend to be less violent, but I’m pretty sure that’s a good thing. Twisty, please save us from the pseudo-science of this moron!!

    Also, since I’m more of a cat person, please post some cat pictures. If you’re fresh out, I’ll send you pictures of my adorable little Cornish Rex cat, guaranteed to make a sucker out of the strongest-willed among us!

  3. LeisureGuy

    I had a bachelor friend who raged against the term “pre-marital” sex–as though everyone would inevitably get married. “Pre-homosexual” tendencies does sound a little as though homosexuality will inevitably follow.

  4. norbizness

    Of course, the advice is one step away from the “If the woman drowns, it proves she’s not a witch. If she doesn’t drown, she’s a witch and burn her” school of thought.

    Except here it’s “if your child cries upon being relentless tormented by bullies, he’s a fag. If he enjoys it, he’s a masochistic pre-vert. If he’s the psychopathic bully himself, he may have a future in our Focus on the Family internship program.”

  5. Darthnerovik

    First off: Twisty, I LOVE this blog!!!! Been reading it for a while, yet have not commented before….

    Moving on….How completely ridiculous…my favorite link is the “How to Prevent Homosexuality” (on the right side of the page). Especially #4 which insists that : “The truth is, Dad is more important than Mom. Mothers make boys. Fathers make men.”

    Well, let’s just hope that there’s a good strong man around to prevent such non-masculine behavior, or the “homosexuality disorder” as this website calls it.

    It’s also good to know that a “change of sexual orientation is possible,” though it strikes me as akin to changing a left hander into a right hander…because God and everyone else knows that all deviants go right to the 10th level of hell! I feel like we’ve retrogressed back into the dark ages or something. Geez…

  6. SimoneDB

    You really should check out Fafnir’s (oh, excuse me, Giblets’) take on the Dobson’s piece! A tidbit:
    “Starve a large wolf cub for two days and have it wrestle your son. If he loses to the wolf, he’s gay – it was only a wolf cub! If he beats the wolf, he is a lesbian. If he is beaten mercilessly by the wolf while apologizing for its economic agenda, he is a Log Cabin Republican. If he is bitten by the wolf, he is now a werewolf. Shoot him with a silver bullet before the rising of the next full moon.”

    Read the whole thing.

    And yes, Ma Vie En Rouge was just a WONDERFUL film. I loved the 50s cinemascope colors, too.

  7. res publica

    You know, I’m usually down for laughing at everything and everyone, because, well, I’m an asshole. And Norbizness’s take is great. But my heart really does break for all those little protoqueer kids out there. An American childhood would be hard enough for most of them without bullshit like this floating around. And could this culture possibly work itself into more extreme hysterics over gender? Some days it’s not even funny. It just gives me a headache.

  8. dev

    yowzie! so glad I found your blog!
    your oprah magazine deconstruction was very well done. betcha you wouldn’t find a corresponding article on how to tame, impress and placate the great goddess Woman in any men’s magazine, do you think?

    Oh, and hmm, why is that doting parents get so much more distressed when their boy-child displays “feminine” behavior than when their girl-child displays “masculine” behavior.. (eew, we certainly don’t want our manly boys getting those icky girl cooties! )

    thanks for sending out these rays of light..

  9. Qusan

    I really, really want to laugh at this but it is that kind of thinking that leads to this:


  10. Twisty

    Qusan, to suggest that mocking the godbag insanity that leads to child abuse actually causes child abuse is remarkable.

    Meanwhile, I feel ya, Res. I’ve had that same headache for 30 years.

  11. Qusan

    I didn’t say it causes child abuse, sweetness. The man killed his child because he was trying to toughen him up because he thought he “might be gay” and didn’t want him to be a “sissy.” He didn’t think it was child abuse.

  12. Sylvanite

    I’ve often wondered myself why masculinity is so fragile it has to be rigidly enforced, lest all men become homosexual. Or something. And masculinity is defined as “sociopath.” I actually said that to a therapist once – that the cardboard cutout stereotype of masculinity is a sociopath and the cardboard cutout stereotype of femininity is such brainless incompetance that it’s a miracle that all women don’t get hit by cars crossing the street. She agreed with me, and I don’t think it was just therapist “agreement with the patient.” Seriously, what’s wrong with people. All the men I know who are worth knowing have some “feminine” tendencies, i.e., they have recognizable human emotions.

    Actually, I think I need to come up with a new definition of cardboard cutout femininity, because I did get hit by a car crossing the street two years ago. Or maybe I’m just more “feminie” than I thought.

  13. Sylvanite

    I’ve often wondered why masculinity seems to be so fragile and externally-defined. In other words, what you’re doing isn’t masculine by virtue of being done by a man. It’s masculine if we say it is, and if we say it isn’t masculine, then you aren’t allowed to do it. Whatever “it” is, be it cooking or showing recognizable human emotion. It never ceases to amaze me how oppressive the patriarchy is to most men, how thoroughly it seeks to suppress any demonstration of individualism or authenticity. Heaven forfend if you’re a male who isn’t into sports!

  14. Sarah in Chicago

    I think Sylvantie is dead on here when it comes to constructions of masculinity by these fuckers (or femininity for that matter) –

    I often have the spontaneous mental picture of guys running around one of those old spaghetti western movie sets, where the town is just a bunch of facades held up by bracing at the back made of 2x4s.

    I picture these guys running around trying to do their damnedest to stop the facades of buildings from falling over, all the time screaming “NO, IT’S REAL AND NATURAL I TELL YOU!!! REAL AND NATURAL!!!”

    The scary thing though is that I stopped laughing at this shite a while back, not because it isn’t incredibly stupid, ignorant, and just plain INSANE (can someone please, just for a moment, explain to them the problems with conflations of gender and sexuality … though don’t mention cultural narratives that do such, such gray complexities might make their absolutist skulls pop) and hence really really funny, because … well, it is.

    But rather I stopped laughing because PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE THESE YAK-DROPPINGS. Yes, it’s so beyond fucked up that it makes Iraq look like a well-planned and exercised jaunt, but there really isn’t that much difference between this shite and those people that voted to deny us marriage rights or anti-discrimination rights or anti-hate rights (I’m awfully sorry, I’m oppressing your religous beliefs by preventing you from beating the crap out of me, do please continue). It’s the part of the same spectrum.

    The ignorant bigotries of these looney-toon santorum-residues provide the framework that allows so-called ‘heartland’ americans to think that their feelings of ickiness regarding gays and lesbians justifies the denial of our rights.

    Don’t get me wrong though, Norbizness is still damn funny, even though my laughs therefrom may be a touch from deperation.

  15. Sylvanite

    Sorry for the redundant posts – I thought I lost the first post. I did at least phrase my point slightly differently…:P

  16. curiousgirl


    The abusive dad *said in court* that he was beating the child to toughen him up so he wouldn’t be gay. But that is obviously insane, and furthermore unlikely to be true. It is difficult to beat someone to death (even a three year old) accidentally.

    He was beating him becuase he wanted to hurt him, and the article suggested other reasons why–he wanted the mom’s attention, and didn’t think the kid was his, and was a big overgrown, fucked-up asshole.

    Its scary though, though, that someone would think the gay thing made sense as an explanation as to why you accidentally beat your child to death.

  17. ae

    I can’t stand it. I’m with you on this one, Res P. I’ve had a headache since the 1st grade, when I stood up and refused to EVER put on a dress again. I’ve had to watch one of my bestest pals, friends since we were 11, grow up fighting against all this shit, and it’s sickening. I mean, “Think effeminately”?? F*ck right off. They’ve taken homosexuality out of the DSM-IVR, and they need to put these sociopathic superstitionists in.

    Who saw “But I’m a Cheerleader!”? Classic comedic take on all this “un-gaying” bullcrap.

  18. Mistress

    &hearts Way to reference Mr. Show, Norbizness!!! &hearts

    But anyway, if heterosexuality is the ‘natural’ impulse that everyone insists it is, why is there so much social pressure & coercion to enforce it?

  19. BritGirlSF

    Smooches, Sarah. If I ever find myself in Chicago I’m going to have to buy you a drink (we both deserve one after putting up with this shit on a daily basis). The whole “But it’s natural! It says so in the Bible!” thing would be hilarious if it wasn’t for the way in which it fucks up so many people’s lives.
    The funny thing is that I’ve actually tried to engage MRAs in a discussion about the ways in which patriarchy fucks over men too (sports is always an interesting place to start, especially since I know enough about hockey to give actual examples) and the silence is deafening. Is that a cricket chirping I hear?

  20. Twisty

    So let me get this right. You guys are saying that mocking these assholes isn’t funny, because the reality is too awful? I’m not casting aspersions, I just want to know.

  21. Sarah in Chicago

    BritGirlSF –

    Honey … you, me, drink .. you’re SO on! Next time you are coming to the windy city drop me a line :)

    We can toast to this daily shit and that cricket *smile*

    Twisty –

    Oh no hon, mocking these fuckers is DEFINITELY funny!! In fact, you kinda need to, otherwise spiralling into a horrible horrible black hole kinda tends to happen. It’s just for a lot of us it has a touch of gallows humour to it because we also know how much power unfortunately these guys spewing this excrement have, and how much these insane narratives are actually listened too, even if in unconscious ways sometimes.

  22. TimT

    So let me see … little boys aren’t allowed to beat one another up, OR wear women’s clothing?

    They won’t let you have any fun anymore!

  23. BritGirlSF

    Nah, Twisty, it’s funny as hell. If nothing else I’d rather laugh than cry.
    Sarah, you’re on. Or if you happen to be in the Bay Area…

  24. Sarah in Chicago

    BritGirlSF –

    I can only WISH I were out in the bay area … *pout* But not only have I not been able to afford anything resembling a vacation in a long while, but it doesn’t look like happening for quite a while in the future either … ah yes, the wonderful, wonderful life of a phd student …

  25. BritGirlSF

    So glamorous, huh? I’m actually contemplating going into an MA program and even that is giving me poverty nightmares. Of course I’m considering doing it in London where poverty is remarkably easy to achieve.

  26. Sarah in Chicago

    Oh yeah, it’s all the Savoy and caviar … I honestly don’t know how those that return to tertiary education do it.

    I mean, at least I’ve been on the same awful income since I was a teenager (although, now I am being paid such to research people, as opposed to asking about fries and whatnot … which, come to think of it, is a touch worrisome when I put it that way) and haven’t actually experienced things like the ability to order pizza without having to trade off, say, groceries.

    The reason, the ONLY reason, I am still here is because I am so damn close to that needed ‘Dr.’ that it would be cowardice not to stick it out. That said, if someone turned up now with a good enough offer, I’d probably go … no, belay that, I would go.

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