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Aug 17 2005

My Feminist Cred Is Bogus!

Because there is so much in this world I don’t give a crap about, and so many shrimps to tandooricize, and so many pages left unread by me in the copy of The Brothers Karamozov that has been on my nightstand for about 17-and-a-half years, I had never heard of Feminist.com before five minutes ago.

What an eye-opener!

Ask Amy
of Feminist.com reassures a fearful reader who finds “feminist rhetoric … rather offputting” that patriarchy-blaming “misrepresents” feminism. Ask Amy sez that feminism is about “equality.”

And here I’ve been foolishly seeking liberation from misogynist oppression this whole time. Why didn’t anybody tell me?

32 comments

  1. alphabitch

    Goddamn that’s a pretty salad. It makes this delicious tuna salad I’m about to eat look just so freaking lame.

  2. Twisty

    I never eschew tuna salad. It is pretty much the definition of lunch, isn’t it? I had a crazy bandmate who made the best tuna salad ever. He put apples in it (they had to be red), and a little curry powder, and both green and yellow onion in some exact proportion. It was delicious. He was a paranoid schizophrenic, though, and wouldn’t let anyone near him when he was making it for fear we would slip some poison into it, so I never got the actual recipe. He eventually shot his brains out. Damn, I miss that guy.

  3. Twisty

    Hey Finn, this post is a joke.

  4. Christine

    I like tuna salad and tolerate garden salad, but I find that both are much better if someone else makes them. I don’t know why that is, but I think it has to do with the smell of tuna on my hands (ick) and the cutting up of the veggies.

    Your friend’s tuna recipe sounds fabulous. I bet it would make a super chicken salad too!

  5. spiritrover

    How are you lighting these food pictures? Is it just the flash from your camera? Whatever you’re doing, it’s awesome; it makes the food look luminous (in a good way).

  6. deja pseu

    Damn you! That salad has me drooling all over my keyboard!

  7. curiousgirl

    Twisty,

    I cant find your email address. Thought you would like this:

    http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0533,weinstein,66885,6.html

  8. Finn

    > He eventually shot his brains out. Damn, I miss that guy.<

    If by “shot his brains out” you mean, “posted to this blog too much” you would be on the right track.

    ;-)

    As for the tuna salad, I wish I had a recipe that sounded as good.

  9. Finn

    Oh, and you’re right, that Ask Amy is a hoot.

    Amy sez: “I would also guess that men within a matriarchal society are a lot better off than women within a patriarchal one. I hope this helps”

    To which I sez:

    If it’s true, bring on the Matriarchy.

  10. AndiF

    Gotta agree on the food photos — they are absolutely pavlovian in their ability to cause mouth-watering (my favorite so far: the almond-crusted grouper).

    As for Amy, I’ve heard that equality over patriarchy-blaming rumor myself but I’m sure it’s just a ruse developed by a bunch of MRA’s.

  11. Twisty

    Spiritrover, I have a digital SLR camera which, if I set it right, can take decent pictures with just the normal room light. I am lazy, so I rarely use a flash or any studio lighting. I am also not above compensating for my laziness with heavy Photoshop abuse.

    Christine, I have similar views about lunch in general: it is a meal that should always be made by somebody else. Did I mention that I’m lazy?

  12. alphabitch

    Apples are way better than celery.

    I was only whinging earlier because your lunch looked so much better than mine as it sat here on a paper plate among all the piles of unfinished tasks on my desk. Bleak and pale. It was, however, very tasty and I had some chicken noodle soup with it.

    Today’s tuna salad was made with little packets of mayonnaise and pickle relish that I found in my desk and some really fabulous bread that I bought at the bakery on my way to work; wish I’d been able to toast the bread, but toasters are forbidden in my workplace. Fire code, apparently.

    At home I usually make much prettier tuna salad with no mayonnaise, just some kalamata olives, feta cheese, fresh parsley, lemon, capers, and whatever else I feel like tossing in there. Or else I use a little mayonnaise and some scallions, hard-boiled eggs, and curry, with some sambal oelek (an indonesian-type very hot pepper paste. Or Inner Beauty hot sauce, which is really good. Apples would be an excellent addition to this version.

    The other night my lovely ex-wife made some tuna salad with fresh oregano, capers, lemon, dill, red onions, & olive oil that was really quite lovely. Would have been even prettier, I think, piled on some of that watercress.

  13. LCGillies

    So what’s up with the unread Brothers K? I was gripped by it at one point in my early 20s (during the Cretaceous Period, when the Grateful Dead ruled the earth) and couldn’t stop. I don’t know what I’d think about it now, given my vast post-Watergate, post-Iran-hostage-crisis, post-Little-Rock, intra-right-wing-hegemnonic enlightenment…

    If you can get through it, you can keep Gravity’s Rainbow on your night table. Then we can talk again.

  14. ae

    Being almost wholly opposed to mayonnaise (aioli I can deal with), I do whatever I can to avoid it, especially in my salads. Gak.

    alphabitch, I love making tuna salad w/ kalamatas/feta/parsley, but then, I savor anything smacking of Turkish/Greek/Mediterranean flava. Haven’t tried the sambal oelek though; will note for future salad making. When making a curry chicken salad, I like to cut the bitterness/sting of the curry with lemon juice. It really brightens things up. Lemon is a wonder food.

    My partner and I are on a very ascetic-seeming salad-only kick, because it’s too f*cking hot to eat (read: we’re too lazy to cook) anything else. Besides watermelon, I mean. We’ve got a guy nearby who sells them on the side of the road for $3. His dad grows them in Sanford. We were in the grocery store yesterday, and they were selling watermelon for $5.99/lb, I sh*t you not.

    Today’s salad: arugula w/ yellow wax beans. I am all about arugula, damn. And cilantro. I am all about cilantro. But mostly I am all about garden tomatoes.

    Twisty, anybody make a decent sweet tea down your way? When I was travelling to Cali via I-40, the last place we were able to get authentic sweet tea was Louisiana, and then the guy made it special for us, because he had people back in NC, and he knew how it was to be without it.

  15. ae

    P.S. Twisty, whatever you do, don’t go to ifeminists.com. No, really, have more salad, put your feet up, hang out w/ Fyodor and Bertie. And, like, where’s Zippy?

  16. jp

    AE isn’t kidding. I went there…too weird.

  17. CafeSiren

    Re: tuna salad. All those tasty pics inspired me last week to toss dark salad greens with wasabi-infused oil and rice vinegar, then layer on some seared ahi, and finish with sesame seeds. Perhaps seared ahi is a culinary cliche, but I freakin’ love it.

    But, salad with tuna may not qualify as “tuna salad,” I realize.

  18. BritGirlSF

    I have now learned that the only sensible way to manage the hunger pangs induced by Twisty’s food pics is to be eating when I read this blog. Thus, I am now eating a very hot south Indian curry with chicken, green bell peppers and chick peas and can actually focus on what Twisty is talking about.
    So, the woman who runs this site is the one who wrote Manifesta? How disappointing. A commenter on my Blog just recommended that I read Manifesta – is it completely awful?

  19. Wordlackey

    Hmm. I still think smashing the Patriarchy (and the patriarchy) is a dam’ fine idea. Equality, not so much. Oh, equality is nice but I like the smashing of things. Of course there are those who think a matriarchy is just like patriarchy, just with women in charge. Not so, mon chere. Substantially different, IMO.

    I used to make a tuna salad of complex and epicurian subtlety. Not sure anyone else would like it but I loved it. Spices included Tabasco, chili powder, and a little A1 steak sauce or Worcestershire sauce. Can you tell I’m originally from New Orleans? Or “N’Awlins” in the quaint local patois. I was limited to my mother’s spice rack hence the lack of, say, real chili peppers.

  20. Anonymous

    “Twisty, anybody make a decent sweet tea down your way? When I was travelling to Cali via I-40, the last place we were able to get authentic sweet tea was Louisiana, and then the guy made it special for us, because he had people back in NC, and he knew how it was to be without it.”

    Texans, ya feel me: There is NO SUCH THING as a decent sweet tea.

    There is a reason the last one you could get was n Louisiana. A state with many charms, and a special brand of white supremacy not among them.

  21. curiousgirl

    “Twisty, anybody make a decent sweet tea down your way? When I was travelling to Cali via I-40, the last place we were able to get authentic sweet tea was Louisiana, and then the guy made it special for us, because he had people back in NC, and he knew how it was to be without it.”

    Texans, ya feel me: There is NO SUCH THING as a decent sweet tea.

    There is a reason the last one you could get was n Louisiana. A state with many charms, and a special brand of white supremacy not among them.

  22. curiousgirl

    I obviously cannot work drive this thing. I meant to say:

    There is a reason the last one you could get was in Louisiana. A state with many charms, tea and a special brand of white supremacy not among them.

    ‘pologies all around

  23. Twisty

    We got Sweet Leaf tea in a bottle. It’s a southern Texas cult beverage. For bottled sweet tea, it ain’t bad. They use real sugar, not corn syrup.

  24. ae

    Dude, I totally forgot to ask for the chutney dressing recipe! Hmm? Hmmm? Mmmmmmmm.

    [Our Whole Foods carries Sweet Leaf. Not bad, 'tis true. I'll have to remember that for my extended travels! =)]

  25. Marissa

    Manifesta is a great read if you are:

    a white, middle to upper class citizen of the US under the age of about 19-21.

    Beyond that, it is only useful for all of the contact info and names in the back.

  26. WookieMonster

    The brand of feminism at that site is what I like to call “lame-ass feminism”. They don’t really want to do anything but claim how great women are. Women are great, don’t get me wrong, but we’re also up against some serious problems in this patriarchal society. I’d like to get something done about these huge problems instead of sitting around patting myself on the back for being such a wonderful be-cunted being.

  27. alphabitch

    AE: I was about to invite youall up I-40 a piece (I think I’m about an hour or so away) for some delicious tuna-filled pope hats, but then you said that about the ice tea. I’m obviously not a real southerner as I just can’t make myself drink that stuff. One sip and I start to imagine my teeth are dissolving.

  28. Twisty

    The whole shrimp salad recipe, chutney dressing included, is at epicurious.com. I of course added red onion, without which this dish would have been a total failure.

  29. ae

    alphabitch, mmm, pope hats. And we just happen to have some smoked tuna on hand. We are so there! Actually, we make it up to W-S often enough. We should say howdy sometime. And if ever you’re in our neck o’ the woods, holler. =)

    Twisty, might I take this opportunity to thank you for creating a space in which we can blame patriarchy, share recipes, and forge friendships? You rule.

    And thanks for the recipe link, and damn skippy re: red onion.

    P.S. alphabitch, if your teeth are dissolving, then you know the sweet tea is good! ;-> I’m a happy Yankee convert to the nectar of the gods.

  30. alphabitch

    but I like my teeth.

  31. TeenageCatgirl

    WookieMonster, that was excellent.

    This site is the same: http://www.beingjane.com/feminist.php

  32. Twisty

    The iFeminists are definitely a different drinka water. Its editor Wendy McElroy’s “Women’s Right To Pornography” was on top of my toilet tank for about two years. In all that time I only made through a few pages.

    I find some of the Libertarian views interesting, but I could never join up with’em because they have all the doofiest celebrities.

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