That’s why their adult caretakers are supposed to protect them from harming themselves or being harmed by others.

Why didn’t she say “no”, you ask? Answer: WHY THE FUCK SHOULD A 12 YEAR OLD EVER BE PUT IN A POSITION TO SAY “NO” TO THE SEXUAL ADVANCES OF A FUCKING ADULT???!!!

Umbrage, indeed. Go piss up a rope.

Which brings me to ask what is going on that a 12 year girl feels she needs to act out power games with this ‘man/boy’ and where the fuck were her parents? Maybe she latched onto this ‘boy’ to escape from daddy. Maybe she was now ‘too old’ for daddy and replaced him. And her ‘man/boy’ is unlikely to survive in the joint.

Of course, this has the nasty finger prints of Patriarchy all over it. Deformed relationships everywhere you turn. And every one loses.

~M~

Look, the thing about being a kid, unlike all other minority statuses (statii??), is that you won’t be a kid forever. 12 year olds may not be asexual, but they’re not fully developed either–emotionally, mentally, *physically.* They should be with their peer group. They shouldn’t be marrying or having sex with frigging twenty-year-olds. They can do that when *they’re* twenty.

And hello, no, the 12 year old does *not* bear any responsibility here, fool.

For what it’s worth, when my pre-teen daughter started sprouting breasts at the age of 11, I told her to avoid being sexual with teenage boys because they’re generally - - - I really said this - - - lousy in bed. I told her to wait until she’s in her late teens or 20’s, not because I didn’t want her to have any fun, but because I DID, with an age-appropriate partner skilled enough to give pleasure. We talked about oral sex. She listened, rapt, with big round eyes: She was old enough to understand what I was getting at but still young enough to admire a mother’s wisdom - - I think I feared if I waited too long to have the Sex Talk she’d think I was an old fogey and an idiot.

(BTW I also told her that if an older man ever tried to make her his “special” friend that he was a perv and she should come running to me immediately. Interestingly, her doctor also initiated this talk with her a few years ago with me present - - something that surprised me, and I was grateful to him for it.)

My colleagues were horrified by my frankness but I’m glad I did it this way. 11 really WASN’T that young. Daughter is 14 now, taller than me and growing (size 10 1/2 feet!) and looking frighteningly beautiful and mature (she wears my clothes), and, thank god, she is willing to tell me just about anything. She has no “boyfriend.” Meanwhile, other girls in her school are giving blowjobs. It’s really disturbing.

“[…] I’d like to meet the miserable creature who has less power than a lower-class, sexually active twelve-year-old […]”

A sexually active twelve year old? That wants to MARRY her 20 year old partner? This seems like a substantial part of the problem. Note, I did not say it was ALL of the problem, or even most, but rather, a part not to be overlooked. Yes, males who would be willing to have sex with a 12 year old are reprehensible at best, but that male is only half the problem. What about the girl who (maybe) didnt say no? Or if she said no and he ignored her, the girl who turned around and agreed to marry him?

These are things that need to be addressed in tandem, and I take slight unbrage at the blanket villification of all males in “a war zone ruled by male nutjobs and populated by male assholes”.

Not that I’m arguing for slutty clothes or Brazilians for 12-year-olds. God no. But you have to have the right reasons in mind–teaching your girl to be independent, not submissive–or you’ll fuck it up even worse.

The fact that I am unencumbered by offspring does not deter me from these idealistic speculations.

I practice the Twisty Method of Childrearing and let me assure you, it seems to work quite well (at least up to age eleven, stay tuned for updates). Nothing idealistic about those speculations, it’s just good common sense.