Comments on: Fashion Week: It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over

By: Erin

Erin — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

The other part of the tiny-handbag conspiracy is that women’s wallets are so crazy big. How do you get one of those portfolio-sized wallets into your dainty bag, anyhow? Oh wait, you’re a woman — you’re not allowed to handle the money, is that it?

By: nicky

nicky — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Really. I mean, rillly. The teeniest tiniest one of these things I’ve ever seen looked like an eyeglass-case with a handle. Which begs the question: Where does one put one’s eyeglasses in such a thing? Let alone, let’s see, what do I carry around all the time: eyeglasses, reading glasses, sunglasses, an actual wallet, keys, lip balm, chewing gum, extra band-aids, smokes, cell phone, pens, pencils, notepad, George Bush voodoo doll–all the essentials for getting from Point A to Point B. Not to mention paperbacks and mags for those neverending waits in the docs’ offices. (In onco-time, Twisty, this means neverending like you never imagined. However roomy your regulation shoulder purse may be, I suggest an auxilliary tote. Which, by the way: How about an “I Blame the Patriarchy” store, perhaps via Cafe Press, for totes, t-shirts, and the like? I’d buy.)

By: flyinfur

flyinfur — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Don’t we ALL need “I Blame the Patriarchy” gear?

I detest those stupid handbags that won’t fit over the shoulder and take up a whole hand. Makes me crazy.

I’d just wear a backpack except that it’s not very safe to carry stuff back there unless you have eyes in the back of your head.

By: larkspur

larkspur — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

I think we’re supposed to keep those tiny handbags inside our giant messenger bags, so we can haul the tiny ones out at the end of the day when we go clubbing or whatever. Or at least for when we go to lunch.

This virtually guarantees that you will forget to transfer something essential into the tiny bag, or will impulsively leave something because it just won’t fit. So there you are at lunch, one arm immobilized by the tinybag as you scamper into the restaurant on your highest heels, and then oops! You can’t read the menu without your reading glasses. And oops! You forgot to bring cash, so someone will have to spot you, or else you’ll charge the whole thing on a credit card.

So there you are, cute, helpless, with one functional limb. Shrug off the tinybag, kick off the pointyshoes, and use that strong arm to grab the patriarchy by the neck.

Um, also, I commented on your earlier post, and filled the first paragraph with typos. Sorry. I was just So Fired Up.

By: Martha Garvey

Martha Garvey — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Wow, I think about this all the time! Patriarchal purse conspiracies bedevil me! I myself prefer to walk with a nice red wagon…the better to carry my patriarchy-hating dog when she gets tired.

Seriously. The master’s purses will never dismantle the master’s house.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Spot-on patriarchy blaming, Twisty. I’ve never understood why anyone would carry those crippling little things. There are all the reasons you mention, plus they’re so easy to put down and forget somewhere when you’re busy thinking of higher things, so you can look like a ditsy chick as a bonus.

An everyday bag for me must (1) be big enough to hold all the regular stuff-sunglasses, wallet, comb, lip balm, cell phone, keys, tampons, notebook, etc.-as well as a paperback book and (2) have a strap long enough that it can go across my chest bandolier style. Occasionally a teeny purse is useful, so I knit myself little ones that are the size and shape of a jeans pocket and have the requisite long-ass across the chest strap.

By: WookieMonster

WookieMonster — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

My purse of preference is a small-ish purse specifically designed to strap across my chest like a messanger bag (extra awesome points for a cell phone holder on the strap that is in front of me for easy access), but seeing as how the fashion industry in their infinite patriarchal wisdom have decided that these are “so last decade”, I am stuck with a small purse with a short handle as described above (except slightly larger to carry all sorts of useful stuff like allergy medicine so my sinuses don’t explode, and multipliers just in case of emergency). It’s all the inconvenience that Twisty described and more. I really need to make my own with the pattern of my all time favorite, but just try to find a good sturdy, sewable material, I dare you. I’ve tried and tried and the closest I came up with was tacky nylon…I’ve been thinking more and more about knitting one and felting it, but good yarn for something like that is very, very expensive stuff.

By: Amy

Amy — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

My “purse” for lack of a better word, is indeed a back-pack-looking thing that is virtually dirt proof but which, if necessary, can be slung in the washer when on rare occassions it is smeared with virtual dirt.

I carry all the above listed items as my fellow patriarchy blamers, but I’ll add that I schlep a Leatherman in a smart carrying case as well. You never know when you want to pull a MacGyver on your lunch break.

I work on a college campus and the odd and highly annoying trend here is to tote around your god-awfully heavy back pack full of the necessities of college existence — AND — have one of those twitty litte purses slung on your arm, sometimes under the backpack, sometimes on the outside, sometimes on the opposite side. Um, hello? What’s the point of that? Sigh.

As for “I Blame the Patriarchy” gear - I’d snag it up in a flash. Are you going to do anything in a twitty litte purse? :)

By: Dim Undercellar

Dim Undercellar — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

Belly packs.

Everyone needs a belly pack.

NO limbs are immobilized during carrying. One or two, optionally, are required to open and utilize. It can hold EVERYTHING. Sizes vary to accomodate your personal needs. Extra pockets, of varying sizes and shapes, allow for mucho utility.

Unfortunately, the Patriarchy says only people who are (A) not male or (B) male and old can wear it acceptably. And even women are tempted to buy $1.7 million designer versions.

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 +0000

I can’t get behind the bellypack, DU. It doesn’t hold much, for one, and it looks so godawful, for another. I’d rather have one of those Scottish purses you wear with a kilt, the kind made out of a whole otter…at least it hangs better.

For a while in college I carried a man’s wallet for my cash and a keychain, and that was it. Very freeing! But did not leave room for tampons or books, so I had to move to a big unfashionable shoulder bag or backpack, where I’ve been ever since. Messenger bags look like a good idea, but tend to pinch the boobage.