Oct 14 2005

Another Knitting Post


Ming-Yi Sung Settlement With Monkeys

I am overwhelmed by all the book suggestions, and hope that you will all enjoy a hearty guffaw when I reveal that I can’t figure out how to do the Amazon list thing. Advice accepted.

I regret that I am not yet up to patriarchy-blaming at my old blazing speeds, but perhaps some of you will content yourselves with this knitty website sent to me by my old pal Liza, who I just found out has been sculpturally knitting behind my back for quite a while now. The secret world of knitters continues to amaze me.


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  1. yankee transplant

    Just checking in to say I hope you’re doing ok. Don’t worry about blaming the patriarchy-we’re carrying the torch for you! Consider the patriarchy duly blamed in your behalf.

  2. SF Knitter

    not to nag, but i emailed you about some books, just let me know if you didn’t get it. cause i’d really like to send you some stuff to read.

  3. ae

    Twisty, go here to set up your wish list at amazon.com. It’s easy to do on that end, I think. Just trolling around their site for stuff you want and clicking the yellow “Add to wish list” button (on the right hand side, I believe).

    Then go here to learn all about how to add your already created amazon wish list to Typepad. This might be a job for Rachel, if she’s free. I don’t think I’d want to do any of this if I were on pain medication and could barely lift my arm.

    Hope you’re better today (and everyday)!


  4. Sara

    Cool link, T. Thanks!

    Hope you’re getting lots of rest and good food, and puppy cuddling, of course.


  5. Ron Sullivan

    Take your time, Twisty; we’ll just keep gnawing our knuckles in sweaty anticipation. WTF is it with knitters? Weirdly perverse, some of them, and I mean that as praise.

    OK, now: What the FUCKIN FUCK??? What did that fucker use on you, a cheese grater? OWOWOWowowow! Cheezisbloofyfuckinchrist, that’s not an incision; that’s a set of heiroglyphics! Holymoly! Yeah, take those pain meds. Yeesh. Ouch. Oy.

    OK, again: Now that I’ve got that off my chest (Sorry. You have my permission to use that where it’ll hurt most.) I’ll tell you tales of twentieth-century medicine. That evil little bloodsucker thing? YEAH it’s icky; I don’t even like to think of them. And be ready for the extremely weird sensation that taking it out gives you. You might want to puke on the surgeon. Go ahead. No, wait — ask the gas-passer in for a follow-up and then puke on him. Don’t you feel better just thinking about it?

    In the short time I was an official nurse, that bit of technology went from being something that would keep you in bed in the hospital for days, eating that disgusting food, to something almost portable to what you took home attached to you like a plastic leech.

    In The Olde Days, it was a tube from you to a bottle of water, and another tube out of the bottle. The tube in was below the waterline, the other one, above. Or just one tube in and a way for air to escape out of the water. The idea was to keep air from going back into the hole; the water acted as a one-way valve. It bubbled. No, really.

    Then it was a thing a bit bigger than one of those nasty pancakes, plastic, two hard discs and soft plastic sides between, with a couple of springs inside and a plug like a swim-toy’s. You (I) had to pop the plug, drain the pancake, and squeeze it flat and re-close the plug about once a shift, or more if there was a lot of drainage. Oh yeah, and measure it. But hell, I was measuring piss back then too.

    I rigged one of those water-seal things once at home when Joe was still brewing beer and one impressively vigorous batch blew two fermentation locks up into the basement ceiling and broke them.

    (He named that batch “Maltdown” and drew a sketch of a nuke cooling tower on the label — it was the same year as Three Mile Island and I’m from Harrisburg, so it was sort of a sentimental gesture.)

    So hey, think of it this way: You’re wearing a fermentation lock, like a batch of Shiner. OK, well, clue me in: What’s a good Texas beer?

  6. Nancy M

    Well Ron Sullivan,
    In The Olde Days, it was a tube from you to a bottle of water, and another tube out of the bottle. The tube in was below the waterline, the other one, above. Or just one tube in and a way for air to escape out of the water. The idea was to keep air from going back into the hole; the water acted as a one-way valve. It bubbled. No, really.
    In those Olde Days, about 3 years ago, I wasn’t warned or the Tramadol made me deaf about the suitcase/chest drain I was toting around with me.
    So I finally escaped to breathe real air and sit in the sun and I put the bubbling suitcase up on the back of the seat to keep it out of the way.
    Serious syphoning ensued. Woops.

  7. wordgirl

    You had it….Shiner Bock is a great Texas beer.

  8. Raelun

    Twisty, since I’ve been reading your blog I’ve become a full-time patriarcy blamer, (as a political science/feminist studies grad student it’s my life’s work) and gotten several friend in on the action. You rest up, we’re blaming the patriarchy daily for you, and sending you out thoughts and wishes for a speedy recovery so that our dreary lives will be enlightened by patriarchy-blaming, Twisty-style.
    And Jaqueline Carey’s trilogy is pretty cool, as well.

  9. Rana

    Do you have the weird little elasto-stitches around the drain tube? My dad had those following his heart surgery, and it gave him quite a turn when, after he’d been healing a bit, they just yanked the tube right out of his chest!

    (The stitches tightened up immediately and closed the hole, which is what they were supposed to do, but he didn’t know that — they just said, take a deep breath, and without any warning, pulled it free.)

  10. bitchphd

    Twist, if you want help setting up the wish list, email me. I will gladly make a list for you, put the code into your blog template, and/or simply host the list over at my place until you’re up to fiddling with your template yourself.

  11. DM

    Wait. That was knitted? That’s just odd. Cool but odd.

    Hope you’re feeling better. I just found you because of flea and I have been scrolling through the past posts you’ve written. I will definitely be back. I’ve learned a lot in just the short time I was here.

  12. AndiF

    The knitting artwork is amazing. I think I’ll show it to my mother who started knitting me a sweater when I was 8 and 47 years later, I’ll still haven’t got it.

    Hope you’re feeling better and watching a lot of great old movies and reading mysteries and scifi that you saved your money on by getting them at the library.

  13. Anonymous

    but Amazon is more or less the WalMart of the internet or so it seems to me. It’s a tool of/participant in the patriarchy. I’d like to suggest y’all at least consider using the amazing powells.com or some other independent bookseller. I guess you could still use the Amazon wishlist but spend your book money elsewhere.

  14. Josef K

    Can I just point out how appropriate it is that you’re using Amazon? The word ‘Amazon’ comes from the Greek for “breastless” and the Amazons were called that because the women (allegedly) cut off their right breasts to make archery easier. (I guess left-handers did it the other way round.)

  15. grammazon

    I’ve never been able to buy that Amazon legend. It just defies credulity. If more than one person survived self-mastectomizing, it would be a medical miracle, centuries before the development of even the most basic surgical techniques.

    Just to be sure, I just checked the straightdope.com. Which makes a pretty compelling case that the oft-repeated Amazon Fun Fact is nonsense:


  16. Twisty

    This surgery was barely survivable in 2005. I can’t imagine it without anesthesia and antibiotics, although the absence of cardboard pancakes might have made up for lack of same.

  17. kathy a

    holy cow. what an ugly legend. thankfully, there are at least drugs for twisty.

    even my old college cafeteria has come up with more reasonable food than your hospital. time for them to step up and get in tune with the times!

    twisty — can we send you some books? xooxoxoxoxooxox

  18. Ashley

    Speaking of knitting, should the patriarchy be blamed for this?

  19. Ron Sullivan

    Omigod, Ashley. I want the one that looks like a watermelon. Who says we can’t have three?

  20. Josef K

    Yes, yes, I’m sure the Amazon Fun Fact is complete bollocks, but it’s still a legend, innit? I mean, I don’t believe in winged horses or the Tooth Fairy either, but they’re nice stories.

    Did you know a swan can break a man’s arm with one blow of its wing?

  21. Sarah Ennals

    Also, IIRC, archery was the fashionable sport for young ladies for a while in the mid-Victorian era, and um, the Victorians were working the uniboob look, but not assymetrically, so they couldn’t have been getting that much in the way.

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