Don’t tell me you weren’t crying out in your sleep for news of today’s retarded study. Conducted, surprise, by a dude. You’ll never guess what it says. OK, I’ll tell you. It reaffirms misogynist stereotypes!
Check it: When women text-message (a term I only reluctantly use as a verb) they blather on and on and on, their messages "brimming with personality and affection," whereas "long-suffering" men "stick to brief, no-nonsense texts."
That’s right. In the world of the Blackberry, just like in real life, personality and affection are nonsense. Unlike the "sarcasm, sexual humour and swearing" preferred by dudely text-messagers. That stuff is GOLD, full of gravitas and deep socio-political implication. Not since Horace’s Epistles have human communcations achieved so glorious a zenith as when dudes text-message.
The "study" focused on 18-to-30 year olds at some university in, I think, India. The fucktard researcher noted that men "alter their strategy" by suddenly exhibiting textual nelliness–presumably they inexplicably begin to brim with atypical personality and affection–when they’re trying to text some hottie into the sack.
UPDATE: Reader Alison alerts me that Sheffield Hallam’s is a university, not in India, but in Sheffield, England, which just shows to go you that When In Doubt, Google.