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Nov 18 2005

Coyote Ugly

Mountainmancoyotehed

Cabela’s, the World’s Foremost Outfitter of Grizzly-Men, apparently unaware that mammal carcasses are not worn this season, offers, I kid you not, this extraordinary millinery in their Christmas catalog. The "hat," which consists of an entire dead coyote, is "the perfect gift for rendezvous black-powder re-enactment enthusiasts."

Whatever the heck that is.

56 comments

  1. Miriam

    I do Rendezvous Black Powder Re-enactments. You basically recreate the mountain man rendezvous camp-outs. Which means, dressing up in period clothing, carrying alot of weapons, living in tents and cooking out of dutch ovens and on open fires. It’s really REALLY fun. And there’s alot of drinking and guitar playing if you feel so inclined.

  2. norbizness

    I’d like that picture better if it were a live coyote, and it wasn’t so much draped over MegaFlannelMan’s shoulder as latched onto his jugular.

  3. Miriam

    It’s like the SCA, but with black powder rifles.

  4. whyme63

    Judging from the guy in this photo, I need to get my husband’s modeling career launched, pronto. He’s got the physique, and he’s got the flannel. He can grow the face grizzle. And if we need to provide his own dead coyote hat, well…at least I know where to get ‘em.

  5. SneakySnu

    I don’t know whether to laugh at or cry about that photo. Norbizness has summed up the sentiment nicely.

    Nor do I have the energy to comment on the activity of black powder re-enactments. The brilliant first lines of Marx’s Eighteenth Brumaire come to mind: “Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historic facts and personages appear, so to speak, twice. He forgot to add: the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.”

  6. Shaula Evans

    Miriam, I didn’t expect to run into other blackpowder shooters this way!

    I have a Hopkins & Allen .36 underhammer rifle (which means I can shoot it left or right handed). I started shooting as a kid with my dad, and used to clean up tournaments in British Columbia where I grew up.

    The blackpowder crowd in the Okanagan Valley was a truly delightful, down-to-earth group of people. I always thought it was a shame that I was one of the only girls/women involved in shooting, and wondered why more women didn’t get involved.

    Please read all of the above comments recognizing that gun culture and politics in Canada are extremely different than in the US.

  7. Beth

    I love that the item description in their catalogue touts it as “a conversation starter at any gathering”.

    No kidding. The children will be screaming, PETA members will be throwing their soup on you and the rest of the neighbours will huddle and ‘converse’ about you all night.

  8. Twisty

    I just googled this black powder thing, and found a list of Camp Rules for a re-enactment which included this howler: “No fighting. This includes domestic disturbances.”

    http://www.rockymntnatlrendz.com/rules.html

  9. Beth

    Also, just to chime in with agreement- gun culture is a totally different thing up here.

    (99% of)Gun owners aren’t frightening, they’re just your neighbours and farmers and guys(/some girls) who like to do shoot competitively.

    Even our hunters do much less of the trophy variety of killing and instead are feeding their familes.

    I heart Canada.

  10. Sylvanite

    You could wear this while admiring your antler chandelier, also purchased from Cabela’s.

  11. me

    It looks like it’s humping him. Zombie coyote yiff!

    …ew.

  12. Ron Sullivan

    Sister Mary Doghair Explains It All To You.

    Somehow I can’t make it go away from my brain, the image of the neighbors’ yappy poodle replacing the coyote. Rhinestone collar and all. Let’s see the rest of the campfire set figure out the internal resonances of that one.

  13. leslie

    You haven’t lived until you’ve wandered around a Cabelas store – think 5 acres ( I kid you not) of taxidermied animal (including bison, lions, bears….), trout stream running through the floor and more guns, fishing and camping gear than you can imagine. truly surreal. .

  14. cursingmama

    I believe it may be the perfect gift for the man who literaly has everything; including the ass end of a deer hanging on his wall.

  15. Kristen from MA

    Truly disgusting.

  16. Anonymous

    Hmmm, Shaula, you just cleared up a mystery.

    My brother looks like MegaFlannelMan AND he’s setting up to marry a woman out of the Okanagan. This is after having dated several women from that region. Ain’t the internet grand.

    I guess them gals up there like their bears.

  17. PrissyNot

    My husband has a cousin who looks like megaflannelman, and that whole guy-end of the family goes hunting every year. Of course they eat what they hunt, they don’t wear it or hang it on their walls (thank goddess) and my husband doesn’t indulge in any of that shooting, killing, etc. jazz, he just goes along for the male bonding type stuff. But that particular picture/concept/whatever is truly bizarre.

    On a more pleasant note, glad to hear that you can once more ingest a taco or two, at whatever price, Twisty!

  18. Kelley Bell

    I just did a program on Great Horned Owls for the Ohio Wildlife Center, and it might be wise to tell this guy that Great Horns have been known to swoop down and attack people wearing fur caps.

  19. bitchphd

    I just don’t understand why someone would want to wear something that looks like a coyote is humping his shoulders and head.

  20. Daphne

    Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of those bright orange safety vests, or that nice bright red flannels?

  21. Jay Woolsrake

    Why is the balladeer’s voice from the movie soundtrack for “Jeremiah Johnson” playing in my head? And is it wrong that I’m a little turned on by the photograph?

  22. kathy a

    isn’t it kinda like cheating to buy your dead animal headgear from a catalog? if mr. flannel was truly an manly macho guy-type mansome man, wouldn’t he need to make his own? just asking….

  23. flea

    I literally do not know what to say about that photo.

  24. Julia

    I keep hearing the banjo from Deliverance.

  25. the ghost of Abbie

    The coyote hat and the ‘fauxliage’ leafy camo coveralls would be quite the statement at your Thanksgiving dinner.

  26. Sneaksleep

    OK, so this isn’t about a coyote, but all this talk of Cabela’s and Canada has reminded me of a canoe trip I went on when I was 17, with 4 other girls and a 25 year old woman as our guide. We were in the wilds of the NW Territories and every so often would run into a group of guys on a fishing trip. Invariably, they would ask us why there weren’t any men with us, and why were weren’t carrying a gun or fishing rod. Then they usually fried us up their day’s catch and gave us beer to wash it down with. Anyone want to get started on the patriarchy-blaming possibilities of that one? Really good meal, though.

  27. NME

    I fail to understand the appeal of re-enacting the Civil War or the life of the pioneers. Isn’t CONTEMPORARY life horrible enough? I’m for re-enacting life in Paris in the 1920s or fin de siecle Vienna. Or maybe just life before Bush.

  28. tisha

    Julia: “I keep hearing the banjo from Deliverance.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! (snort)

  29. Kyra

    “Coyote Ugly.”

    No, coyote cute, if dead. Man ugly. Store ugly. Entire premise ugly.

  30. Kyra

    Sorry, that should be “Coyote cute, albeit dead.”

  31. cilla

    OMG! MeggaFlannelMan! i love that! i am disgusted by the whole scenario too. over here i guess we have MegaTweedMan but it doesnt have the same ring to it somehow.

  32. Lydia

    Delurking to say a) Twisty I love your blog, always comforting to see I’m not the only one who’s angry (I go to a college where all the women are unbelievably apathetic) and b) Sneaksleep, I’ve canoed up there too! Was it the Yellowknife River? We didn’t run into anyone though, until about the 12th day when we passed some guy building a house 20 miles from the nearest road…

  33. jo(e)

    Wow. Clearly I’ve been shopping in the wrong catalogs.

  34. cafeSiren

    I used to live about 40 miles from a Cabela’s. Locals told me that people would actually come there for tourist purposes. Seriously: got a long weekend? Let’s pack the family up in the car and go to Cabela’s!

    Here’s an important question, though: I note that the picture (like many catalog pictures) has a little caption: “J – Coyote.” Are items A through I other animal carcassas you can wear on your head? Including (but not limited to): “C – Ron’s neighbors’ poodle”?

  35. tigrismus

    You could wear this while admiring your antler chandelier, also purchased from Cabela’s.

    Well, except deer shed antlers, which can then be gathered without causing them any harm. While the chandeliers and hats are both butt-ugly, I’ve never heard of a coyote shedding its skin, which puts this monstrosity in a whole ‘nother league of ew.

  36. wordgirl

    I see that picture and the words of the poet Robert Burns come to mind…something about having “the gift to see ourselves as others see us.”

  37. citizen spot

    Cabela’s also sells camoflage infant and toddler clothing. I guess if you live next to the woods, it is right smart to be dressing your toddler in camo in case he or she wanders off into the woods.

  38. kathy a

    i think a few other commenters can verify that raising kids involves Making Up Rules When Necessary.

    since my dad always loved military surplus stores, and the kids loved grampa, my Rules include: No Camo. None. Ever. And YOU KNOW We Don’t Allow Guns… Also No Knives. ok, so you have a pocketknife for camping, but Definitely No Big Knives. NO Swords. No Dead Animals. I Mean It. and the always reliable: That’s GROSS! Put it back!

  39. The Fat Lady Sings

    I’m with Norbizness on this. Let’s just take the guy out and call it a day. You know – I am reminded of that ad with the children running from room to room screaming at the sight of all the dead animals. I think that’s pretty much the reaction wearing this thing outside of a Golden Horde gathering will provoke.

  40. Chris Clarke

    Twisty, you know I love you.

    But you could have asked before posting my picture on teh internets.

  41. Ron Sullivan

    Dammit, Chris, I thought you were gonna shave your back!

  42. Kyra

    “I just did a program on Great Horned Owls for the Ohio Wildlife Center, and it might be wise to tell this guy that Great Horns have been known to swoop down and attack people wearing fur caps.”

    Or better yet, don’t. Let him find out on his own.

    “You haven’t lived until you’ve wandered around a Cabelas store – think 5 acres ( I kid you not) of taxidermied animal (including bison, lions, bears….), trout stream running through the floor and more guns, fishing and camping gear than you can imagine.”

    At the one I get dragged to every so often there’s a stuffed elephant. I asked my dad, “who stuffs an *elephant*?!” He said, “Cabela’s.”

    It’s not so bad the first ten minutes or so . . . they have large amounts of aquariums filled with native fish exhibits (live), and a restaurant that offers things like elk sandwiches (and caribou and bison and so forth) so an adventurous eater could find out what they taste like without going off and shooting one, and they sell nice large chocolate bars. But the problem is, my family doesn’t go there for ten minutes. They go there for two hours, which extends to two and a half, which extends to three.

  43. Anonymous

    Hi, Recently found your web and have enjoyed it immensely. Was surprised to discover some soft bear porn posted most recently. Might just have to let that become my fetish du jour.

    Regards,

    Anonymous

  44. Mandos

    I don’t understand. Why have I never heard of this Cabela’s place before? I’m from Canada, where this sort of thing is a major tourist attraction particularly for US tourists. I’ve been living in the US for more than a year. I now feel compelled to organize a trip there (with friends) just to gawk at mere existence of this…hole in reality.

  45. Twisty

    Stick with I Blame The Patriarchy, Mandos. Twisty brings you the world.

  46. Laughingmuse

    “I just did a program on Great Horned Owls for the Ohio Wildlife Center, and it might be wise to tell this guy that Great Horns have been known to swoop down and attack people wearing fur caps.”

    I am just savouring that image – a mass of (or just one) flannel-guys attched and bombarded by owls for their attractive coyote neck-humping pelts!

    You know, coyotes get a bad rap. Pisses me off. If we re-introduced more large predators (wolves, mountain lions), the coyote populations, which so many piss and moan about, would drop.

    Sorry, end rant.

  47. peacebug

    just had to dial up cabela’s to see that mountain man coyote hat in situ. whoaaa.

    - hey – it’s made in canada!

  48. Ledasmom

    I note that one of the other choices in furry guy hats (er, furry hats for guys) is “sheared beaver”. I bet the people who take orders over the phone for Cabela’s just love the prank calls they get about that one.
    Also, you can buy an artificial but realistic coyote midriff to replace the worn-out part of your coyote midriff target.
    Don’t you suppose that, when things get slow at the warehouse, there’s a lot of joking around going on? If it were me and my friends (I’m pretty sure I have one or two of those) we would certainly be doing live-action Roadrunner skits. Incidentally, if you’re at a pet store and they have the pig ears and pig snouts, you can achieve a sort of scary mummy pig effect if you hold up two ears and one snout in the approximately right positions. That is, if you’re really juvenile like me.

  49. Chris Clarke

    furry guy hats (er, furry hats for guys)

    Seriously, its all good.

  50. Kate

    In Australia we have a man who makes hats from feral cats.

  51. Daniel M. Laenker

    I think those are courier-du-bois re-enactors.

  52. beowulf

    peta is a radical nutcase group who have been responsible for the deaths of thousands of animals that they would rather see dead than living with or owned by humans ! truly sick individuals !

  53. Twisty

    Yo beowulf, I’m no PETA fan, so would you be so kind as to cite the source of your remarkable statement for future reference? Don’t forget to use the shift key!

  54. Jezebella

    “I’d like that picture better if it were a live coyote, and it wasn’t so much draped over MegaFlannelMan’s shoulder as latched onto his jugular.”

    Norbizness, have I told you lately that I luff you?

  55. j

    Twisty:

    http://www.petakillsanimals.com/

    (Caveat: According to SourceWatch, the above website is owned by the Center for Consumer Freedom. Make of it what you will.)

  56. Twisty

    Thanks for trying, j, but that Rick Berman dude just can’t be trusted.

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