It had been 12 days since I last delectated myself with a taco of any species. Unable to stand it another moment, I crammed myself full of puke-ye-not pills and did hie unto Vivo, whereupon I pushed this exquisite specimen, the Puffy Beef Taco, into the gaping Twisty maw. The gastrointestinal price was high, but a spinster aunt’s gotta live, goddamit.
My friend L, who remains extant as an academic somewhere in New England, home of Yankee ingenuity, maple syrup, Walden Pond, and, apparently, teen violence, files this report from the perilous and mind-blowing world of pedagogy:
I was out tonight with some friends who are teachers (I had invited them to be guest speakers in my class, so to pay them back I took them out for burritos), and one of them told us about this strange ritual that some of the 9th grade boys she teaches engage in (sorry for that dangling preposition but you know what I mean). It seems that they walk (or skulk) around and whenever they can they sneak up on each other and punch each other in the balls. None of us (women or men) could figure out why they do this; it clearly hurts as after one if them is whacked he doubles over in pain, and after a few such experiences they all run loudly from each other.
What do we make of this? Is it a learned behavior, or a mutation? Some Canadian hockey-virus? Do primates in the wild engage in the behavior? Is Mummy punching Daddy in the balls at home? Is it homoerotic? Are they doing it to impress the ladies? Is the US military conducting secret experiments on New England’s youth, perhaps poisoning the Skittles supply with chemicals that eat away at the brain’s natural ball-punch-avoidance lobe?
UPDATE: Not that we give a flip about balance or symmetry here at Twistyfaster.com, but the aforementioned friend L sends another email with this amusing addendum:
There is also
another game, this one played by girls, that my friends were calling
"the penis game" which involves saying the word penis, first very
quietly, and then louder and louder until whoever’s turn it is is too
embarrassed to say it because they will have to shout. The way to stop
this one is to yell PENIS! really loudly which really embarasses all
of them and makes them cease immediately.