Nov 21 2005



To beautify my kitchen, I bought a new iMac. I was pleased to discover that it comes with a cheap little built-in camera that takes weird pictures of anyone dumb enough, such as bald-headed spinster aunts, to sit in front of it.

Meanwhile, apologies to regular readers of I Blame The Patriarchy who have noticed a recent plummet in the general quality of blogular disapprobation of the anti-dominant-culture variety. I’m off to chemo "therapy" again in about an hour, and I’ll try to get a decent post up before the poison kicks in and renders me blithering, but if I don’t: hold the fort, keep sending in those links and articles, and I’ll be up and blaming again in a couple of days, tops.


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  1. d.e.i.x.i.s.

    That’s hot. I heart my G5, but it doesn’t have a cheapo camera on it.

    Good luck with, er, ‘therapy.’

  2. Rene

    Maybe it’s just the baldness, but this photo totally reminds me of Sinead O’Connor. I mean that as a compliment, of course, because I’ve always considered her very pretty, albeit insane. Although I was kind of freaked out by her dramatic conversion to extreme godbaggery, at least she became a renegade lesbian priest and not just another sensibly devout sucka. Her last album, which I must confess I was afraid to listen to, is a reggae venture produced by the legendary Sly and Robbie. So now, I guess, she’s gone rasta.

    I hope the chemo treatment isn’t as horrible as it was last time and that you’re well stocked with antinausea supplies. A friend swears by ginger ale, although when I’m nauseous, I find 7-Up less objectionable.


  3. larkspur

    “…Fortunately, twisty had stockpiled an entire case of Coca Cola. As she started in on the sixth can of icy-cold bubbly goodness, the right side of her face began to emerge from the strange mist that had threatened to engulf her, until it became clear that indeed, her right eye twinkled as merrily as her left eye….”

    Or it could be the camera. It’s very atmospheric, anyway.

  4. yankee transplant

    Gah, Twisty, sorry about the chemo. Send up a white flag if you need more cookies.

  5. PrissyNot

    Good luck with the chemo, hope you can come out the other side with your insides intact. We’re pulling for you, baldy!

  6. Stephanie

    Twisty, I seem to recall at one point you posted an address where your loyal readers could send you diversionary reading material, etc. I can’t find it, if it ever existed-could you repost it?

  7. Hattie

    I think about you often. And yes, you are cute bald.

  8. BitingBeaver

    Never you fear oh bald queen of the Patriarchy blamers we’ve got the fort held in your stead.

    Good luck with your ‘therapy’ and you’ll be back up on your feet in no time.

  9. Hogan

    c/o Daniel Ahearn
    9101 Spinning Leaf Cove
    Austin TX 78735

    (That picture reminds me of someone, and I’ll probably wake up at 3 am and remember who it is. Goddamn middle age.)

  10. Stephanie

    Thank you, Hogan.

  11. StealthBadger

    *warm thoughts and stuffs*

  12. bitchphd

    The blurriness and bald head make me think that . . . Twisty is actually an alien!

    It totally makes sense. No real person could be so cool.

  13. nina

    Hope the chemo isn’t too awful, Twisty. I think I’m going to have tacos for Thanksgiving in your honor, too.

  14. The Fat Lady Sings

    Yes – I got that ‘alien’ vibe too! Pretty cool, though – sexy. I like the bald – kinda mysterious, in a way. Sorry to hear about the chemo. I wish I could offer some magic recipe that would render those after effects null and void. I asked my friend, and she still says plain crackers helped settle her stomach. For really good diversionary fodder, I recommend watching The ‘L’ Word on disc. Great show, wonderful actors, completely engrossing. Or all of The Thin Man movies – you just can’t beat Myrna Loy. Anyway – hope you feel better soon, my dear.

  15. cecil b demille

    I don’t think the lens will hold any more vaseline Miss Desmond.

  16. marym

    Half-gatorade/half water on ice- easy on the stomache while helping with the dehydration. Plus keep a pile of those gel-cold pads in the freezer for the very yuchy days. Placed on the forehead they realy make you feel better.

  17. Josef K

    An iMac for your kitchen? Does it make toast and stuff?

  18. Crowbar

    Is it normal for chemotherapy to cause one’s head to glow in the dark? If not, better have the therapist adjust the radiation dosage…soon.

  19. wordgirl

    Even those who provide quality service 24-7 in the patriarchy-blaming industry need to take a breather. Now, if only they made taco-flavored chemo…

  20. kathy a

    that’s got to be the worst camera on earth. and still we can see the coca-cola box, several feet in the background… damned imac has no sense of priorities.

    twisty, hope this chemo is more gentle on you.

  21. Metta

    Is Twisty wearing a clerical collar in that pic? (>.

  22. pyramus

    The iMac’s camera isn’t the worst camera on Earth: the machine has a piece of software called PhotoBooth that lets you add digital effects to the photographs. That particular filter’s called Glow.

    I’m sure no one is surprised, Twisty, that you would have bought a computer that’s as cool as you are.

  23. Twisty

    Pyramus, you think you are divulging my spinsterauntly secret, but in actuality I ran that photo through Photoshop.

    My main computer is cooler than the iMac, even though it doesn’t have a built in camera.

    Yes, I am an alien; the collar mistaken for priestliness is actually part of the uniform of the Forensic Patriarchy-Blaming Wing of the planet Obstreperon’s Sector III Field Team, of which I am a member.

  24. Jennifer

    Yea Twisty!!! It’s good to see that you’re up and writing, if not actually blaming yet this morning. You are the patriarchy-hating, thought-provoking, spinsterauntly diversion of my work days!

  25. chessie

    Pedialyte is also a good for you, get unflavored and mix it with something that you can taste. Better that Gatorade.

    Don’t worry about posting we will be here when you feel better.

    Having been through the chemo process I have an observation to share with you. I am a passionate person who has spent most of my life looking for windmills to challenge. Most times the windmills lose.
    Righteous Indignation is good up to a point.
    What I learned from cancer was I had to let lose the anger, just let it go, not my passion just the anger. It takes to much energy away from you at a time when you need all your strength.
    I still rail against injustice but it is not consuming.
    The result of letting go of my anger is that today I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Thank you cancer.

  26. Daphne

    Now this picture just cracks me up.

  27. ae

    Twisty, hope this week’s “therapy” side effects are better than last time. Sending fortifications. xoxo

  28. CJ

    Twisty –

    Back when you started with your cancer journey I was inspired/scared into getting my annual check-up done. I posted (in amongst your adoring millions) to say thanks for getting me off my ass.

    Well, turns out I have endometrial cancer. So, here I am, saying thanks again. Hopefully we’ve caught it early enough – will be going through a radical hysterectomy in two weeks and we’ll see how far it has spread.

    As I process all of this, I’m trying to come to terms with being a 41 year who gets to go through instant menopause and how that is going to affect my “desirability”. I blame the patriarchy for that!

    Hope you are doing well and that you’re managing to keep some tacos down.

  29. Twisty

    Holy shit, CJ, I am so sorry. That fucking sucks, and believe me, I know of what I speak.

    Coincidentally, I’ll be going through menopause instantly, too, when they start in with my hormone “therapy” in a couple of months. Hey, maybe we can trade horror stories.

  1. Creek Running North

    early for Blog Against Racism Day

    Because Twisty shouldn’t be puking all by herself, I present the worst thing about being a white guy in love with an Asian woman: people sometimes mistake you for one of these assholes….

  2. Creek Running North

    Early for Blog Against Racism Day

    Because Twisty shouldn’t be puking all by herself, I present the worst thing about being a white guy in love with an Asian woman: people sometimes mistake you for one of these assholes….

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