Monthly Archive: December 2005

Dec 31 2005

Study of the Week: Me Time, You Jane

When was the last time you had a big steamin’ bowl of clam stew with tasso and fennel? Well that’s too long. Are you sitting down? Because here’s a shocker: Britain is a nation of Homer Simpsons. The stereotypical image of the indolent husband, reclining on the sofa, beer in hand, while his wife copes …

Continue reading »

Dec 30 2005

De Spread of Debauch

Even Shiva (or is it Nataraja?) can’t resist hot god-on-pole action. Thanks, Maxim! Maxim magazine, beloved bastion of women’s naked pole-dancing empowerment, is exporting its important message–that true male fulfillment depends on a connoisseurship of airbrushed T&A–to India. Lucky India! Perhaps now that backward hellhole of a subcontinent can retrain its recalcitrant female population to …

Continue reading »

Dec 30 2005

Pop-Up Windows, Missing Comments, a Taco, and Sentimental Goopings

Pinnacle of the taco de pollo maker’s art: the Frontera Fundido with salsa doña. A couple of remarks to our treasured contributors: • Just a reminder that the pop-up window what pops up when you comment is a harmless bug. Yes, it’s irritating, and a relentless auspice of my flawed intellect, but it’s non-fatal, and …

Continue reading »

Dec 29 2005

When I Was A Douchebag

Actual douchebags All this talk of douchebags has put me in a nostalgic humor. Viz: Unless you are in a rock band, or used to be in a rock band, and therefore know the torment that is the Band Photo, you probably won’t find The Hall Of Douchebags too hilarious. I do, though, despite the …

Continue reading »

Dec 29 2005

Email From Gisher!

Here’s an email I received yesterday out of the wild blue yonder that manages to be both threatening and solicitous at the same time. I am “reprinting” it here, not because I have the faintest idea what the heck its author is talking about, but because he expressly forbids that I do so and ain’t …

Continue reading »

Dec 29 2005

Clean, Fresh Patriarchy-in-a-Box

This one smells like Country Baby Powder Flowers You know what I haven’t been paying any attention to because of North Korean slave labor in the Czech Republic [check], and the loony idea that if men guard women in prisons somebody’s gonna end up raped [check], and the fact that Pope Ratzi is truly a …

Continue reading »

Dec 28 2005

Author of Annoying Sports Theme: Icky Perv

Gary Glitter, convicted child porn enthusiast, pays $4000 to families of abused 11-year-old girls in Vietnam in exchange for dropped charges. What a fucking knob.

Dec 28 2005

Season’s Greetings

I almost forgot! It’s a Twisty Tradition! The annual holiday reading of the S.C.U.M. Manifesto. Pass it on! Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, …

Continue reading »

Dec 28 2005

Bum Steer

Where can this “study” kiss my ass? Three ideas beloved of Western civilization rolled into one: that there is something “wrong” with women’s asses, that this horrible deficiency can be fixed if only women would buy the right stuff, and that people should get grants to photograph hundreds of female butts [link]. One of the …

Continue reading »

Dec 28 2005

My War On Christmas

I’ve been waging (a completely ineffectual) war on Christmas for 20 years, and I don’t care who knows it. I hate the jingle bells. I hate the sweaters. I hate the songs. I hate that sucky columnists fling around the phrase “Yes, Virginia, there is a _______ (gadget that slices mangos,” government conspiracy,” war on …

Continue reading »

Older posts «