Dec 16 2005

Fuck TypePad

Man, I’ve been trying to post all day, but spinster auntliness kept inserting itself between me and my appointed task. I’m not an aunt in name only, you know. I have a couple of actual nieces, and occasionally they manifest themselves corporeally in my midst. One of them did so this very day.

The niece in question is two. When we met for drinks earlier (pretend-milk in teensy wooden cups), the tyke, who is generally pleased as hell to bask in the presence of the favorite aunt, cast a jaundiced eye over the Twisty melon as I doffed my beanie.

“Juh!” she yelled.

Twisty, you may as well know right now, is not my real name. But neither is it “Juh.” The kid mangles my handle because of the inadequacies of the human tongue at age two. I don’t care for it, but apparently it’s the best she can do, so I don’t hold it against her. Especially since I call her Porky.

“Juh!” Porky yelled again. “Put hat back on!” And she stamped her foot, which was shod in a tiny hot pink Croc, and gave me the stink-eye.

What was this! Was my young relative–normally a child of discriminating tastes–actually declining to acknowledge the jaunty allure of my bald head?

Yes. Yes, she was. In fact, my head was was bumming her out sorely. I could only assume that the kid was viewing her own reflection distorted horribly in my brilliant, mirror-like chrome dome, and that this unflattering depiction displeased her. I felt for the tyke. I have seen things reflected on my head that would curl your hair. So, I made an exception in my policy to never take orders from toddlers, replaced the chapeau, and accepted half a wooden pineapple as symbolic of our tacit agreement to never speak of this incident again.

And now I take the liberty of complaining bitterly about TypePad, the paid weblog service I masochistically inflicted on myself until two days ago. I bailed after a bunch of supposed “enhancements” resulted in months of frustratingly crappy performance for which they were constantly apologizing but never fixing, which frustrating crappiness and hollow apologeticness and never-fixedness eventually caused me to bust a couple of veins.

Today, as some of you are undoubtedly aware, TypePad is completely broken. Recent posts are lost. Access is denied. The whole thing is frozen in time on or about December 10th. Certainly this flagrant customer abuse has dire implications for TypePadders the world over, but what, you may ask, is it to me? Well, it means that my “I’ve Moved” announcement no longer exists. So even though I cleverly got the hell outta there, they are still screwing me by virtue of the deletion of my forwarding address. Also, they’ve still got most of my blog’s images. So fuck fucking TypePad and the “issues with the primary disk system” they rode in on.

Next: Porn for Jesus.


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  1. nina

    I’ve been able to get in and republish mine, so mabye you can do the same. The question now, is what the hell to do next. Pinche typepad.

  2. Pinko Punko


    Lucky you got out. Your amazing NEW place has led me to hate everything about my exisiting blogger bloggy blog and want, no, NEED all the cool crap you have at your place. Forgetting typepad bullshit, are you loving your new digs?

  3. Mandos

    Yeah, that totally bummed me out. Not only could I not cheeseblog like I had intended to in the morning, I was out all day, so when they DID bring it back up, well, they only brought it up to the Dec 11th state. I just managed to republish everything.

    I too am envious of your new independent state. However, as far as I can tell, the TypePad solution is still cheaper and more protective of my rather weak pseudonymity.

  4. Mandos

    By the way, the Brian stuff still gives me an error whenever I try to post, even though it posts successfully. Probably someone’s already mentioned it to you.

  5. Twisty

    Mandos, I was delighted to discover that this WordPress crap is all free. I’m payin’ less per month for domain hosting than I was paying Typepad for the privilege of waiting 6 minutes for my page to load. So I’m ahead. Although, yes, Brian’s error message plagues us all, yet I cannot get rid of it. So obviously there are still some kinks to work out.

  6. Hattie

    I can certainly see the limitations of Type Pad. But that’s OK, because I have a web site. It’s easy to use for the limited purposes I want a blog for. But they did lose some stuff permanently, it seems.

  7. Tony Patti

    I wish to express my admiration for your willingness to deal with the absurdly complicated world of blogging, which I have made my own faint passes at without any real results. I admire your vast and magnificent brain unreservedly for your triumphs in the field.

    Back when I was showing off Dreamweaver to you in the untidy confines of your South Saint Louis study, I myself was on the verge of being completely fed up with the technological advances in the web world that were starting to cause me greater and greater amounts of anxiety and confusion. I turned to the Web initially because it was so much simpler than programming Lingo in the ancient software program Director, you know.

    Now I’m afraid that the level of complexity required to make posting a web page effortless is beyond my patience, and my own pages lay unchanged for long intervals of time, because the software to change them has grown so complex that I can hardly bear to use it at all.

    I do hope that someday the tech world will find the way back to simple, clean, and easy from messy, complex and difficult. Meanwhile, I’ll stick to email.

  8. Mandos

    Hattie: You have to republish and you’ll get most of it back. It worked for me. Did it not work for you?

    Twisty: Domain hosting…do you also mean server space? I recently upgraded to TypePad plus…hence the new look for my blog for the past week or so. But now I pay $9/mo, roughly. Do you mean to say that you have a pseudonymous domain and server space for less than that? With whom?

    Ah, whois tells me “bluehost.” Pretty cheap too. What’s their rep like? I might consider this, then. I’m going to have some time to do this soon, hopefully.

  9. Tony Patti

    Well, we shall certainly be seeing a few more typos than before in my comments, since they appear without the opportunity for correction. I beg your tolerance in advance.

  10. Ms Kate

    Blame the patriarchy!

  11. The Fat Lady Sings

    I am still being plagued by Typepad and its minions. My page continues to look frozen unless the viewer clicks on the title bar, at which point my current posts magically appear. I am NOT amused. They also lost my images (which I do still have copies of) and it took hours and the use of my husband’s computer to try and put stuff back in order. So I took up temporary digs – along with Shakes Sis, Rox, Blogenfreude and several others. While Typepad gets its respective head out of its ass, we will all be partying at Typepad Refugees – so everyone is welcome to come on over. Just don’t forget the popcorn!

    Twisty – so far so good with the new digs? Seriously – I gotta get away from Typepad or I swear I will start rampaging allover their corporate offices. So I am asking everyone how happy they are with their blog host. This place looks comfy – are they treating you well? Hope you have a good weekend:)

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