By now you have heard that little girls are mutilating Barbie dolls. Optimists may view this as an out-of-the-mouths-of-babes rejection of patriarchal beauty standards, but it looks to me more like Baby’s First Misogyny. Seven year olds aren’t (necessarily) idiots. It cannot have escaped their notice that women are dirt. By kicking Barbie’s ass they’re just trying to fit in.
But no matter. Whatever misogynist impulses this behavior represents have clearly been internalized by the time the girls hit puberty, when they of course begin mutiliating themselves. This is also when they respond to teen polls wherein they are asked to ponder the relative inspirationality of Barbie-like celebrities.
I do not know who Sienna Miller is beyond the vague idea that she is a famous blonde hottie, but according to a teen-girl poll for repellent brainwashing teen magazine Sugar, Miller is “the most inspirational celebrity of 2005.” It turns out that teen girls who vote in teen magazine polls deeply respect foxy showbiz chicks who face “terrible adversity.” “Terrible adversity” appears to consist of a painful scene with a hunky dude at the conclusion of which the foxy showbiz chick remains gorgeous.
The adversity faced by Miller in 2005 was that Jude Law cuckholded her with the hired help. This ghastly horror trumped the Jude-Law-less adversity faced by Kylie Minogue, who galloped home a distant fourth place having only spent the year with breast cancer. Which, believe me, is no beauty treatment.