Here’s an email I received yesterday out of the wild blue yonder that manages to be both threatening and solicitous at the same time. I am “reprinting” it here, not because I have the faintest idea what the heck its author is talking about, but because he expressly forbids that I do so and ain’t no unsolicited jagoff the boss of me.
A side note: he says his blog has “zero bias,” which, if true, means he is Jesus!
I am a fellow member of Technocrati [sic], and I would love to swap links with your site. Please review mine, and if acceptable let me know. I have included © in this email as not doing it got me a bunch of publicity recently, which is nice but i need links. If you wish to reprint this email, please ask first, I may agree. May. Warning, my site has zero bias so if you read a story you think goes against your position read further. I use satire alot too.
Sincerely,
Gisher
[link removed per Gisher's request--ed.]
reverendgisher@yahoo.com
31 comments
J. Ascher
December 29, 2005 at 8:34 am (UTC -6)
What an ugly usage mistake in the Reverend’s blog name.
Dim Undercellar
December 29, 2005 at 8:57 am (UTC -6)
You caught that too, huh?
I guess “idiots” aren’t things that can be counted, like cows or flowers, but simply a conglomerate with parts indistinguishable from the whole, like water or snow.
Finn
December 29, 2005 at 9:55 am (UTC -6)
>The Pussywhipped Suffragettes
Finn
December 29, 2005 at 9:56 am (UTC -6)
I’d like to join this team if it ever becomes a band. Thank you, good night.
reverend gisher
December 29, 2005 at 12:41 pm (UTC -6)
Technorati, Technorati, Technorati, hangs over thy head, for I am an idiot.
1)thanks for the link.
2)since i am presuming you have a similiar mental skill set to your readers, i am not sure if any of them will get my site.
3)since you did not get my site, it’s a frigging miracle you caught the misspelling, and opens up a new question, is there really such a thing as single-cell syntax police? nah, I think you do get my site and you are a GENIOUS.
4) YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO KEEP SENDING TRAFFIC TO MY SITE!!!!!!!!!!HEAR ME?
5)I REPEAT YOU BPD WENCH,YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO KEEP SENDING TRAFFIC TO MY SITE!
K
December 29, 2005 at 1:07 pm (UTC -6)
Woah, someone forgot to take their medication this morning.
reverend gisher
December 29, 2005 at 1:13 pm (UTC -6)
cool comeback dude like wow man you are so sharp.
i was unforunetely right about the single-cell syntax police, about one in fourty are on my site long enough to actually be reading, the rest are staring at pictures. maybe i should develope a picture website for sufer dudes and the spandex pants set. thanks for the idea. and remember you are not allowed to send any visitors to my site ever again….do you understand punk? do ya?
Twisty
December 29, 2005 at 1:40 pm (UTC -6)
As you wish. The link to your blog is hereby removed. Sorry to have inundated so esteemed a personage as yourself with sub-par traffic.
tr1c14
December 29, 2005 at 4:33 pm (UTC -6)
Interesting that the Reverend would ask you to remove his url from your site – while using his url in his name.
He doesn’t seem to take well to having people not think he’s a comic genius.
Baubo
December 29, 2005 at 4:50 pm (UTC -6)
You sure are annoying.
MzNicky
December 29, 2005 at 5:20 pm (UTC -6)
Words misspelled in rev. gisher’s comments:
GENIOUS
unforunetely
fourty
develope
sufer
PS — “single-cell syntax police”?
emjay
December 29, 2005 at 5:46 pm (UTC -6)
Just because a reader doesn’t find the Reverend’s attempt at satire funny doesn’t mean she didn’t understand it. I got it. I was just so bored by its inanity that I didn’t bother reading all the way down the page. I’ll venture to say my comadres fall into that category as well.
Dr. Brazen Hussy
December 29, 2005 at 5:55 pm (UTC -6)
Am I missing something, or is he calling Twisty a “borderline personality disorder”? Is there something else BPD stands for? Broncopulmonary dysplasia, perhaps? Am I one of these idiots there should be less of? Does he mean fat idiots should lose weight? Not only is he not funny, but he’s just plain dumb. And boring.
fiat lux
December 29, 2005 at 6:07 pm (UTC -6)
I got a very similar email from that guy a few weeks ago. He seems to be going through all of Technorati in search of blog links.
MzNicky
December 29, 2005 at 6:21 pm (UTC -6)
And he can’t spell.
Becker
December 29, 2005 at 6:22 pm (UTC -6)
I’m no lawyer–which is why I can sleep at night–but I’m pretty sure that a letter sent to another person can’t be copyrighted. Copywritten. ‘teva. It becomes property of the recipient.
CafeSiren
December 29, 2005 at 6:54 pm (UTC -6)
If someone is trolling for places that will include him in their blogroll… well, that’s just plain sad.
Becker
December 29, 2005 at 7:23 pm (UTC -6)
Oh and:
a lot.
a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot
a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot.
A group. a set. a lot.
silverfish
December 29, 2005 at 7:48 pm (UTC -6)
Do you think he might be about 13?
Dr. Brazen Hussy
December 29, 2005 at 7:53 pm (UTC -6)
Now he’s harassing me over at my blog! For making a comment here. What the fuck?
Suzie
December 29, 2005 at 8:10 pm (UTC -6)
Dude, you left a link to your site in the blog signy thingy.
And why would you send her the email in the first place if you didn’t want traffic?
Oh, right, logic. My bad.
MzNicky
December 29, 2005 at 8:15 pm (UTC -6)
Dr. BH: I left a comment on your site. I’ve seen this particular kind of fuckwad troll a lot on liberal blogs lately. Fuck him. Well, you know what I mean.
Dr. Brazen Hussy
December 29, 2005 at 8:16 pm (UTC -6)
I love you, MzNicky!
MzNicky
December 29, 2005 at 9:31 pm (UTC -6)
And because he was so rude to Twisty, I left one on his blog as well.
I’m fed to the teeth with these shitbags, and it’s just been that kind of day. If I weren’t postmenopausal I’d be premenstrual.
Gueuze
December 29, 2005 at 9:43 pm (UTC -6)
Yes, he has a looong rant on his site about all the “BPD people” and how they’re the root of all evil in this world. He throws that term around without really understanding what it means. I think someone has lost his Sanity Badge.
Melanie
December 29, 2005 at 10:35 pm (UTC -6)
Ya know, “reverend”, if you don’t want traffic sent to you from the site, don’t list your URL when you comment.
ae
December 29, 2005 at 10:54 pm (UTC -6)
MzNicky, if only we could all be post-patriarchal! Or maybe post-douchebagical for starters.
Mimi
December 29, 2005 at 11:12 pm (UTC -6)
Yeah! Thanks for bringing fuckwad’s uselessness into prospective for me! Age 13 seems like a good assesment. I was feeling positively depressed when I last logged in and you’d just removed his url, Twisty. I was also amused that he commented using his url. “technorati, reverand gisher”, I don’t think so!
BritGirlSF
December 30, 2005 at 1:07 am (UTC -6)
There really needs to be some sort of minimum intelligence requirment for bloggers. A sanity requirement might not be such a bad idea either. I’m beginning to wonder if Bellevue is offering free internet access to it’s inmates.
CafeSiren
December 30, 2005 at 2:20 am (UTC -6)
Here’s something that I’d like to see read to all trolls: Someone else’s blog is not the press, so your argument about “free speech” does not apply. Nor is it your own private soapbox. You can get your own blog for that. Treat someone’s personal blog as if it were their living room. Someone like Twisty, or BPhD, or DrBH may be nice enough to invite you in, and may invite you to politely disagree. S/he is not, however, under any obligaiton to let you shit on her coffee table, and is perfectly justified in none-too-gently kicking you to the curb if you do so. And if you insist on incoherent ravings, she may call someone to have you involuntarily committed.
Need further guidance? That’s what the FAQ are for. Read them, dopes.
Really, it’s just a bit of common courtesy, like your mama & papa taught you.
Dr. Virago
December 30, 2005 at 10:13 pm (UTC -6)
That guy e-mailed me, too, and I also had no clue what he was talking about. Link swap? Huh? I thought I wasn’t hip to some bloggy terminology, but it turned out it’s his own little thing. I told him I only blogroll blogs I actually read — just like I only recommend movies I’ve actually seen. (And actually, my roll is woefully out of date.) A blogroll is a personal thing, like a list of favorite books or tacos or whatever. And he seems to have missed the fact that Twisty doesn’t even have a blogroll! I’m not even sure his trollish behavior is politically motivated — he just seems to be odd. And he doesn’t seem to get what blogs are at all. Or, for that matter, how to behave on them.