A while back, among a few facetious yet poetical lines written on the perils of chick-Viagra, I noted that women who are disinclined to submit to dudely impalement every 2 hours hardly suffer from a disease that warrants pharmaceutical intervention, and that any pill devised to make girls horny is obviously just a designer roofie and a sick ploy of the patriarchy to keep the sex class in thrall.
It was not long before I received an exasperated email from blogger Elisabeth Riba, Shakespeare enthusiast and feminist champion of sexual dysfunction awareness. She gave me the business.
“It’s hard enough to get the medical establishment to take this seriously and develop comparable treatments to what’s available for men,” she wrote. “I really get annoyed when other women throw rhetorical obstacles in the way.”
Fortunately for Riba, any sway my rhetoric holds over the medical establishment is negligible, beginning and ending with my ability to cajole copious supplies of delicious Ativan out of my oncologist.
One of the points Riba makes in her comprehensive body of blog posts on female sexual dysfunction is that the Pill can kill your libido, perhaps permanently. She believes that this is what happened to her. And now new, though limited, research is backing up her claim (small world! The lead researcher turns out to be Riba’s FSD doc).
It is the duty of the patriarchy-blamer–particularly one who supports zero-population growth– to cast a jaundiced eye on any research that impugns contraception, but you know what? Fuck the Pill. As liberating as it has been for straight women, it is not without its vile misogynist elements. While it leaves men footloose and fancy-free to roam the earth pronging at will, it consigns women to shoulder the entire burden of contraception, and it does this while making us fat and giving us heart attacks, strokes, and, depending on who you talk to, breast cancer. It would be quite the hilarious and ironical comedy joke on us if it also sucked out a girl’s sex drive, since, you know, screwing men is the whole reason to take the damn thing.
I reveal no secrets when I say that screwing men is pretty low on my to-do list, so perhaps I lack the empathy needed to properly address this issue, but I am sorely unimpressed by the primitive nature of current birth control methods. After 40 years, the Pill is still at best a stopgap measure. Interested parties must demand a less physiologically violent method of stemming the spermy tide.