Jan 19 2006

Twisty’s Chicks-In-High-Office Korner

President-elect Michelle Bachelet, who was separated at birth from Martina Navratilova

This will be brief, since there aren’t that many chicks in high office.

As the world’s foremost expert on South American politics, you can count on me to be within several weeks of breaking news in Chile (birthplace of one of my favorite fruits). I just found out that they’ve elected Michelle Bachelet as their first chick president. She is the only South American woman to rise to high office without having had to fuck her way there à la Eva Perón*. Predictably, there are sworls of speculation as to whether she’ll be “tough enough” to go mano a mano with the macho fellas, whether she possesses a forebrain, and, since she is not marrried, who will give her the “little caresses” a woman so obviously requires in order to feel pretty enough to govern a country.

Meanwhile, a commenter at HuffPo offers this refreshing viewpoint on the subject of Hillary’s plantation “gaffe” (a viewpoint apparently shared by Barack Obama and Al Sharpton):

As an African American I completely agree with what [Clinton] said, and I think it’s about time somebody started talking to the black community in such a manner. Maybe white America was offended, sorry, but welcome to our world. It seems ok for so may people to talk around us and wonder what black America thinks but so few people are really willing to say anything about it. WAKE UP!!! Blacks and a lot of other Americans are being treated like slaves. Not allowed to speak or express them or be labeled as traitors. And here you all go capitulating! Want more evidence the house is like a plantation, how many black people do you see in the house, what are we up to seven. No wonder the republicans are walking all over us. Grow a pair! And while I mean no disrespect Arianna, since when did you gain the credentials to say what Bill or Hill can say about or too the black community.

*Yes, yes, I know Evita was never actually elected to any office, but same difference, you know? Sue me.


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  1. Liz

    Wooooowee, I clicked on that Barack Obama link and it took me over to NewsMax.com. Ay-yi-yi! Way too early in the a.m. for all those anti-reality male idiot ads flashing all over the screen. “Men! Do You Hate Rejection By Women? Discover Forbidden Attraction Secrets the Liberal Media Does Not Want You To Know!” [sic]; “Bet On Iraq.com Because Liberty Breeds Prosperity!” (complete with photos of beautiful sexbot Iraqi women peering seductively through veils); “Beware The Dangers Of Weight Training! The Ultimate Fitness Program! No Equipment Required!” (being as weights are my thang, I already know without clicking that’s the ultra-annoying Matt Furey, Swindling King of Self-Promotion) and best of all, “Click Here To Help Defend DeLay! The Tom DeLay Legal Expense Trust.” Gaaaah, my eyes! My stomach!

    Is there a clinical name for this condition I seem to have developed, this internet agorophobia which is the intense panic-like fear of visiting web sites that don’t link back to Twisty?

    Oh, and speaking of Chicks In High office: how about TWSTY FOR PRESIDENT!

  2. Sylvanite

    I didn’t know the “liberal media” was withholding information on how guys can reduce rejection from women. Here’s a thought fellas; don’t come across as a creepy, entitled loser. Oh, and since occasional rejection is an unfortunate side effect of, you know, existing, why don’t you just get over yourselves. Women are not obligated to date you just cuz you asked, any more than any random guy I asked would be obligated to date me just cuz I asked. Sheesh!

  3. anne

    Twisty –

    Your site is one of my new favorites… thank you for your acerbic wit and your honesty.

    Also… maybe you meant ‘cerebrum’ and not ‘cerebellum’? I’m sure you really appreciate corrections from complete strangers, especially if you really did mean cerebellum.

    I’ll shut up now. Carry on with the blaming.


  4. Mrs. Coulter

    Yay for Chile, electing their first female president. It’s pretty pathetic that we haven’t even come close to doing the same here. The US is the most advanced country in the world, my ass. If fucking PAKISTAN can elect a female leader, why can’t we? I can’t say as I love Hillary as a presidential candidate all that much, but at the same time, she seems like the Great Vagina-ed Hope right now.

    And I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who noticed the resemblance between Michelle Bachelet and Martina Navratilova. If she kicks as much ass as president as Martina did in tennis (and in general, for that matter), it’s a good thing.

  5. binky

    She’s tough enough. She survived torture at the hands of the Pinochet regime (to which she also lost her father, who died while imprisoned), and being Chile’s first female head of the Ministry of Defense. She was also the head of the Ministry of Health, and worked as a pediatrician in poor communities. She covers all the bases.

  6. Jodie

    What an incredibly cool woman. Wow.

  7. SneakySnu

    I agree, Mrs. Coulter. What pisses me off is the media speculating on the “tough enough” issue in a “patriarchal culture like that in Chile” (yes, those words were used) or in Liberia, when our own goddamn country hasn’t even come close to electing a woman. Ever.

    South America’s lookin pretty good to me right about now.

  8. kactus

    Another refreshing thing about this WOMAN (sorry Twisty, I respect you to death and all, but I hate the word “chick”, especially in reference to grown-ups) is that she’s a single mom. Wow, a real live single mom who was functional enough to survive torture AND get elected president. And yet here in the states we don’t even think our single mamas have enough brains to raise a family, let alone run a country.

  9. Twisty

    “Chicks” is intended to be ironical. I keep forgetting that 9/11 was the death of irony.

  10. Twisty

    Sorry, Liz. I think NewsMax is hilarious, but obviously it’s not for everyone.

  11. Mimi

    Let’s add Angela Merkel although Maggie keeps creeping into my thoughts of Angela.

  12. kat

    Is it possible that in Chile single mothers actually get true support, instead of an absent community and a welfare system that leaves then barely getting by? Is it that our society thinks single mothers can’t function? Or, is it that they should be punished for premarital sex, something a guy considers a god-given right?

    A woman won’t make the highest office in this country until she jumps through all the hoops (deference, marriage, make-up, and oh yeah, high heels).

  13. Twisty

    Merkel is a tool.

  14. Twisty

    Anne, yes I did mean “cerebrum.” I originally wrote “forebrain” and I should have just left it at that, since I ought to know by now I can’t slide anything past the super-intelligent readers of I Blame The Patriarchy.

  15. Dot

    Bravo to Michelle, and kudos to Twisty for bringing her to our attention. I also want to bring your attention to Janet Napolitano, the Democratic governor of the red-based redneck state of Arizona. Janet has no problem telling the Repug legislature that, yes, being rated 49th and 50th among the states for child health and expenditures on education is a real disgrace and AZ must spend bucks on all-day kindergarten everywhere and child health insurance everywhere. I’m really proud of Janet, and her name needs to be known more widely.

    Twisty, yours is one of the finest blogs on the internet. You keep us focused, lady, for which I am deeply grateful.

  16. kactus

    Is it that our society thinks single mothers can’t function? Or, is it that they should be punished for premarital sex, something a guy considers a god-given right?

    I’ve always said that in this society you’re damned just for spreading your legs, and you’re damned if you don’t. Either way you’re fucked.

    Sorry about the irony deficiency, Twisty. Notice I haven’t said a peep about the disgusting mouth picture currently adorning the front page. Am I forgiven?

  17. Nia

    The article on Hillary Clinton is perplexing. “It is not the first time Hillary Clinton says something controversial. Some time back in bloody 1992, that is, exactly 14 fucking years ago, she was mildly ironical about her job and old-fashioned country music”.

  18. truth

    Actually, I think Michelle Bachelet looks more like Senator Patty Murray, if Murray was pumped up & had Martina’s cheekbones.

  19. antelope

    And then they point out that at around the same time Bill criticized Sister Souljah for race-baiting of some sort. I was COMPLETELY unclear on the point of bringing that up. It was just stunningly bad writing all the way through, but that’s becoming more & more common in the mainstream media. Yes, I know that’s old news, but that piece truly hit bottom.

  20. firefalluk

    & while you’re on the subject of women heads of state, spare a thought for Helen Clark in NZ, now on her _third_ term as PM …

  21. zuzu

    She’s not in high office yet, but Christine Quinn was just named speaker of the NYC City Council. First woman to hold that position, and, I believe, the first openly gay person. She has a reputation as a straight shooter and a background as an activist. And she’s only in her mid-30s, so she has a long while to go.

    She’ll probably be mayor someday, which is a big deal, considering that NYC is bigger than some countries.

  22. suezboo

    May I just put in a word for Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka ? Who she? I hear you cry. The Vice-President of South Africa, that’s who.

  23. Les

    Newsday article:

    “This isn’t the first time the former first lady’s utterances have provoked an uproar. In 1992, during a “60 Minutes” interview about her husband’s infidelity, when he was running for president, Clinton said, “I’m not sitting here as some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette.” Wynette complained and Clinton apologized.

    “A few weeks after the interview, Clinton defended her decision to practice law after the birth of her daughter, saying, “I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas.” She also apologized for those remarks.”

    Err, so whenever Clinton says ANYTHING about not being a doormat, it is highly necessary that she apologize. For this, I blame the patriarchy.

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