Comments on: My Life As A Sex-Positive Feminist http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:08:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Smite Me! [.net] » Blog Archive » A Budding Pro-Sex Feminist (?) http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-121783 Smite Me! [.net] » Blog Archive » A Budding Pro-Sex Feminist (?) Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:21:16 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-121783 [...] Like a highbrow version of Jerry Springer on teh internets. Pro-sex feminists vs….what? Anti-sex feminists? Progressive Bloggers of Color vs. (pseudo?-)progressive honky bloggers. Gestapo-esque mods vs. [...] […] Like a highbrow version of Jerry Springer on teh internets. Pro-sex feminists vs….what? Anti-sex feminists? Progressive Bloggers of Color vs. (pseudo?-)progressive honky bloggers. Gestapo-esque mods vs. […]

]]> By: Bitch | Lab » Lis Riba is gorgeous http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-28249 Bitch | Lab » Lis Riba is gorgeous Tue, 31 Oct 2006 17:15:02 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-28249 [...] Thank you Lis. I’m just back from Alas, rather perturbed. For readers who are unaware, Alas, Pandagon (here and here), and I Blame the Patriarchy linked to Bitch | Lab recently, I was too busy to read anything much ’til now. [...] […] Thank you Lis. I’m just back from Alas, rather perturbed. For readers who are unaware, Alas, Pandagon (here and here), and I Blame the Patriarchy linked to Bitch | Lab recently, I was too busy to read anything much ’til now. […]

]]> By: JJken http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9783 JJken Mon, 30 Jan 2006 02:18:04 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9783 Dim, I had sex with 16 year olds when I was 16, it still turns me on to think about, does that mean 16 year olds are not safe around me. I fantasize about bashing my car into people who cut me off, or slashing thier tires, does that mean my license should be taken away and someone needs to take all the knives out of my silver ware drawer? of course not. Acting out a fantasy is like anything else, use your judgement and you will be fine. Dim,

I had sex with 16 year olds when I was 16, it still turns me on to think about, does that mean 16 year olds are not safe around me.

I fantasize about bashing my car into people who cut me off, or slashing thier tires, does that mean my license should be taken away and someone needs to take all the knives out of my silver ware drawer?

of course not.

Acting out a fantasy is like anything else, use your judgement and you will be fine.

]]> By: In Which The Author Bottoms Out at I Blame The Patriarchy http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9632 In Which The Author Bottoms Out at I Blame The Patriarchy Sat, 28 Jan 2006 16:02:05 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9632 [...] Such as the comments on a couple of recent posts that ended up as discussions on BDSM. [...] […] Such as the comments on a couple of recent posts that ended up as discussions on BDSM. […]

]]> By: Dim Undercellar http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9627 Dim Undercellar Sat, 28 Jan 2006 13:41:34 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9627 Lis Riba: And you ignored everything else I said, so I guess we're even. However, morgan got to it first - it means the exact same thing that it means for men who read hot girl-on-girl stories. It means they would drool in happy delight over their male partners having sex with another man in front of them. Now if you say you wouldn't actually like to see that, you just mastubate and orgasm at the thought of it, then your sexuality has been co-opted and you get off to thoughts of things you'd never in a million years want to happen - proof the Porntriarchy has invaded your head like a virus. If you WOULD like to see that, you need to deconstruct it and ask what kind of effect it must have on your partner, that he knows he's not what you really want - you really want someone who will have sex with other men for you. Lis Riba: And you ignored everything else I said, so I guess we’re even.

However, morgan got to it first - it means the exact same thing that it means for men who read hot girl-on-girl stories. It means they would drool in happy delight over their male partners having sex with another man in front of them.

Now if you say you wouldn’t actually like to see that, you just mastubate and orgasm at the thought of it, then your sexuality has been co-opted and you get off to thoughts of things you’d never in a million years want to happen - proof the Porntriarchy has invaded your head like a virus.

If you WOULD like to see that, you need to deconstruct it and ask what kind of effect it must have on your partner, that he knows he’s not what you really want - you really want someone who will have sex with other men for you.

]]> By: morgan http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9607 morgan Sat, 28 Jan 2006 03:21:47 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9607 I'm talking about women here and not men. I'm talking about slash and not het. I already said I have problem with het. And you didn't talk about how women are portrayed in slash. And it is a problem, because slash isn't just porn, it is a window into the mind of the people writing it the same as porn is for men with their steriotypical lesbians. It exposes their biases in rather unflattering ways. I’m talking about women here and not men. I’m talking about slash and not het. I already said I have problem with het.

And you didn’t talk about how women are portrayed in slash. And it is a problem, because slash isn’t just porn, it is a window into the mind of the people writing it the same as porn is for men with their steriotypical lesbians. It exposes their biases in rather unflattering ways.

]]> By: Kas http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9584 Kas Fri, 27 Jan 2006 21:34:06 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9584 <i>Does that make the woman somehow delusional, because she wants something she can never do?</i> It's something she can do: watch two men have sex. Not even necessarily in an actively-participating-as-a-voyeur way, but unless you're picturing yourself as one of the men (which most slashers would find ludicrous and totally missing the point) that's what you're fantasising about. Does that make the woman somehow delusional, because she wants something she can never do?

It’s something she can do: watch two men have sex. Not even necessarily in an actively-participating-as-a-voyeur way, but unless you’re picturing yourself as one of the men (which most slashers would find ludicrous and totally missing the point) that’s what you’re fantasising about.

]]> By: Lis Riba http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9577 Lis Riba Fri, 27 Jan 2006 19:21:53 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9577 <i>What's transgressive about women writing themselves out of their own stories.</i> Was this intended as a question? Because men write themselves out of porn they create for themselves. Sometimes I wonder if it's something in our wiring to fantasize about . Het women create unrealistic male-male porn for themselves and for female readership/viewership. Het men create unrealistic female-female porn for themselves and for male readership/viewership. Right now societally they exist at opposite ends of the scale (one a major commercial industry and the other mostly underground work done by individuals), but both exist and both fulfill similar needs for the consumers. <a href="http://www.osmond-riba.org/lis/journal/2005_12_04_j_archive.htm#113400192040364499" rel="nofollow">There's a research study in there somewhere</a>, and I'd love to read it. :) What’s transgressive about women writing themselves out of their own stories.

Was this intended as a question?
Because men write themselves out of porn they create for themselves.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s something in our wiring to fantasize about .

Het women create unrealistic male-male porn for themselves and for female readership/viewership.
Het men create unrealistic female-female porn for themselves and for male readership/viewership.

Right now societally they exist at opposite ends of the scale (one a major commercial industry and the other mostly underground work done by individuals), but both exist and both fulfill similar needs for the consumers.

There’s a research study in there somewhere, and I’d love to read it. :)

]]> By: morgan http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9574 morgan Fri, 27 Jan 2006 18:50:06 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9574 No, it doesn't make her delusional. I enjoy slash myself and think its pretty much an a-okay past time. But objectively -- Sometimes, I need to distance myself from it to see the problems with slash as it is now. Women for one thing in slash stories are demeaned to an alarming degree. Buffy was turned into a demon by slashers. And I have to wonder what it is about slash that draws women who seem to have a beef with other women. And before you tell me that het is like that too, I'm not talking about the problems with het, which are numerous, I'm talking about slash 'only' which bills itself as being transgressive. But if you look at it, it's really not. What's transgressive about women writing themselves out of their own stories. No, it doesn’t make her delusional. I enjoy slash myself and think its pretty much an a-okay past time. But objectively — Sometimes, I need to distance myself from it to see the problems with slash as it is now. Women for one thing in slash stories are demeaned to an alarming degree. Buffy was turned into a demon by slashers. And I have to wonder what it is about slash that draws women who seem to have a beef with other women. And before you tell me that het is like that too, I’m not talking about the problems with het, which are numerous, I’m talking about slash ‘only’ which bills itself as being transgressive. But if you look at it, it’s really not. What’s transgressive about women writing themselves out of their own stories.

]]> By: Lis Riba http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9561 Lis Riba Fri, 27 Jan 2006 17:51:56 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2006/01/24/my-life-as-a-sex-positive-rocker/#comment-9561 First of all, you ignored my comments about slash. What does it imply if a woman masturbates to words/images of two men having sex? Vanilla sex, no coercion, none of the parties under-age. Does that make the woman somehow delusional, because she wants something she can never do? Or maybe such fantasies imply gender-dysphoria because if she really gets turned on by MM sex, maybe she's secretly wishing she was a man herself? First of all, you ignored my comments about slash.

What does it imply if a woman masturbates to words/images of two men having sex? Vanilla sex, no coercion, none of the parties under-age.

Does that make the woman somehow delusional, because she wants something she can never do? Or maybe such fantasies imply gender-dysphoria because if she really gets turned on by MM sex, maybe she’s secretly wishing she was a man herself?

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