All right, which one of you knuckleheads cameraphoned me this appalling photo of an innocent fish fillet besieged by what can only be described as frisée? Isn’t there pain enough in the world?
Jan 25 2006
The Lettuce Chronicles: Fish Under Siege
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Take it or fucking leave it and get the hell away from me.
29 comments
SneakySnu
January 25, 2006 at 9:16 am (UTC -6)
The horror! It’s alive, ALIVE! Just look how the pasta (or whatever it is) is hiding under the fish.
Ron Sullivan
January 25, 2006 at 10:42 am (UTC -6)
What the hell?! The stuff levitates??
Ok, well, maybe I need to rethink this. Though I suppose I’d eat a levitating sparerib, if I could catch it. Gee, I wonder if the property is infectious.
Ms Kate
January 25, 2006 at 11:39 am (UTC -6)
Levitation? Or just a high aspic ratio. Vertical integration in anticipation of a large plate shortage?
Either way, the sub frisee sector looks like that can of fancy feast I just served to Amelia Aercatt and Mario LeMiaux.
Mandos
January 25, 2006 at 11:43 am (UTC -6)
High aspic ratio, hah. But it looks tasty to ME. And it will look tasty to YOU. IT WILL. IT WILL.
Hank
January 25, 2006 at 11:58 am (UTC -6)
I also find the resting on a wad of spaghetti noodles more than a little disconserting.
I made your curry last night. Super yummy. And there’s enough left over for lunch today. Mmmmm… curry…
B. Dagger Lee
January 25, 2006 at 12:05 pm (UTC -6)
Serving fish with a toupee is also very poopular here in NYC, but in good restaurants the chef includes a pair of green beans to double as boots. I too dislike the feel and taste of the hair lettuce. A little wiglet of gaggery. Me no likey.
Sylvanite
January 25, 2006 at 12:06 pm (UTC -6)
The frisee is sort of perched like a jaunty cap. I’m sure it’s just a clever ruse, to lull me into a false sense of security.
Liz
January 25, 2006 at 12:15 pm (UTC -6)
Would it be too pro-patriarchal to suggest that somebody really ought to give that poor fish a Brazilian?
Chris Clarke
January 25, 2006 at 12:23 pm (UTC -6)
The hell with the lettuce. Who on Cthulhu’s green and covered in dirt earth cooked that fish until it curled like that? Atrocity.
Kelley
January 25, 2006 at 12:30 pm (UTC -6)
Dear Twisty:
More Ro-Tel!! More Bertie!!! I’m dying out here!! What with the impending confirmation of you-know-whom, I have to have something to distract me!!
Stephanie
January 25, 2006 at 12:54 pm (UTC -6)
What is with the stacking things on top of other things and asking me to eat them? Is it so wrong to do it like my mom did, and put the food in nice little clumps side by side? It fills out the plate nicely, and isn’t so tippy. I mean, I’m really not going to take a nice big bite altogether of pasta/fish/unspeakable greens in-is that aspic? Can we get an “Ew!”? I have to take the weird little tower apart to eat it anyway (well, the parts I’d be willing to eat. At this point that’s the pasta, which looks insipid but edible, unlike the fish, which Chris is right about, and the aforementioned cow bone/weeds atrocity.) I understand we like to present food creatively, but with this dish I am declaring the end of the “tower” plating trend. Like, now.
LL
January 25, 2006 at 1:25 pm (UTC -6)
Stephanie, thank you!! I suppose it’s pretty to look at, but it’s purtneer impossible to eat.
Hattie
January 25, 2006 at 1:43 pm (UTC -6)
You need to wilt the damn stuff, or something.
Lauren
January 25, 2006 at 2:18 pm (UTC -6)
I threw up in my mouth and I haven’t even had breakfast yet. Thanks A LOT!
SneakySnu
January 25, 2006 at 3:05 pm (UTC -6)
What is with the stacking things on top of other things and asking me to eat them?
Good question, Stephanie! All that plate needs now is some kind of balsamic reduction squeezed “artfully” all over the plate. Somebody get me a radish rosette, stat!
AndiF
January 25, 2006 at 3:42 pm (UTC -6)
Siince my first look at the image was through the wrong part of my bifocals, I started off by wondering why Twisty was posting a picture of an octopus wearing a flowered hat.
hippie
January 25, 2006 at 4:14 pm (UTC -6)
That is just *wrong*. It’s defying gravity and growing millions of legs…
CafeSiren
January 25, 2006 at 4:27 pm (UTC -6)
Sadly, the frisee is the only thing that even approaches having any color on this plate. “I’ll have… oh, I don’t know. Just bring me a plate of something beige.”
Charles
January 25, 2006 at 4:53 pm (UTC -6)
Stephanie, you were awfully nice to the pasta by calling it “insipid but edible.” The stuff was clearly boiled to within an inch of its life and globbed carelessly onto the plate. Of course this is exactly how I cook pasta at home, but can’t we expect something better at a restaurant? I’m OK with plopping (properly cooked) fish onto mashed potatoes, but somehow pasta . . . no.
lindsey
January 25, 2006 at 9:24 pm (UTC -6)
Hahah I thought stacking food like that is only what little kids, and crazy college kids like me do with all the food on my plate from the dining hall that I tried but was completely inedible.
B. Dagger Lee’s response was so hilarious that I almost peed my pants!
jennifer
January 25, 2006 at 9:51 pm (UTC -6)
Look, the crystalline entity travelled back in time and attached itself to some crappy piece of fish! Time travel must have taken a lot, though, cause it’s not doing much to that crappy piece of fish. Ah, the prescient days when the crystalline entity sucked all the life out of m-class planets.
kathy a
January 25, 2006 at 9:56 pm (UTC -6)
the lettuce posts, and especially this photo of aggressive, wiry tendrils atop something possibly too wicked to eat, are bringing back bad memories of parsley garnish from my youth.
this wasn’t the parsley that you could use in cooking — it was strictly decorative. it was a uniform kelly green, with perky frou-frou leaves, and the consistency and taste of plastic. it was the goddess of garnish, back in the day. at least they didn’t plant it on TOP of food…
Lorenzo
January 25, 2006 at 10:30 pm (UTC -6)
I’m laughing out loud. At a thread about frisee in inapropriate places. LOL
Also, as someone who is (culturally) Italian, I’m deeply offended by the inappropriate use of (OVERCOOKED!) pasta!
Mandos
January 25, 2006 at 11:24 pm (UTC -6)
You see those parsley garnishes sometimes still. I eat them.
Ron Sullivan
January 26, 2006 at 12:06 am (UTC -6)
(Mandos gestures hypnotically.) We WILL? Uh-oh.
Mandos, Mandos, Mandos. Don’t you know the difference between pussy and parsley?
I don’t know; crystalline entity, maybe. I’ve been thinking about this while driving around half the back roads in Solano County not seeing mountain plovers, and I was thinking something about the vegetable version of Cthulu. On TOP of the FSM, yet.
Sylvanite
January 26, 2006 at 7:37 am (UTC -6)
Unholy trysts are taking place under our very noses. Chthulhu and the FSM caught in flagrante delicto!
laughingmuse
January 26, 2006 at 8:56 am (UTC -6)
The frisee looks like it’s “hanging 10″ on a overcooked fish-board, riding the sea of limp pasta.
Charles
January 26, 2006 at 10:08 am (UTC -6)
The crystalline entity obviously suffered horribly on its trip back through time.
deviousdiva
January 27, 2006 at 10:46 am (UTC -6)
Oh I get it now. You’re supposed to EAT that thing on a plate. I thought it was some new WMD!