“Lonely” male Korean farmers are quite the tragic figures. They can’t seem to persuade any Korean women to marry them. Luckily for them, their empathetic government appreciates male privilege. It feels the crushing weight of their undesirability, and has responded by subsidizing a mail-order bride program that allots $6000 per lonely farmer to import some gash from China or Vietnam.
When a guy can’t “woo” any local girl, it’s more or less a certainty that he hasn’t made any Most Eligible Bachelor lists lately. He’s poor, he’s repulsive, his crappy farm is out in the middle of bumfuck, he’s covered in boils, he’s an asshole, a lunatic, a perv, a redneck, or a layabout. Hell, I’m a layabout myself. I know what I’m talking about. People shouldn’t marry us, no matter how well we woo.
The idea that such an arrangement could be viewed by the prospective Chinese chattel as an improvement over their current situation boggles the mind. How bad must your life have to suck for you to delude yourself that matrimony with a strange Korean reject is a good idea?
Well, it’s not like women in China, especially in rural China, are considered human beings or anything. There, like here, the entire social structure hinges on women’s inferiority, but in the Chinese hinterland there are even fewer humorless hairy dyke sex-negative feminists challenging patriarchal authority than we’ve got here. Thus, as is so often the case in backwoods societies, girls are married off to satisfy family obligations, after which it is considered de rigueur to beat the crap out of them as often as possible. So it follows that suicide is the leading cause of death among Chinese women between the ages of 18 and 34. They’d rather drink a couple of pints of rat poison than endure the punishing angst of these meaningless lives. To younger girls who have watched this happen, I imagine a lonely boil-encrusted Korean hayseed might take on the shape of a port in the storm.
Of course it would never occur to anyone to address the mental distress of women by taking steps to abate the social and economic conditions that oblige them in the first place to sell themselves off to lives of rural drudgery enslaved to total strangers thousands of miles from home. Nobody’s gonna give some Chinese girl $6000 to relieve her loneliness.
Although if she’s a virgin—and really, is there any ill a virgin can’t cure?—she’s got a shot at marrying a lonely millionaire pigbag.
Thanks to reader A Fan for the lonely farmer link. And Tisha, too.