Jan 29 2006

Hot New Blog

I’ve been invited to join the Churlish Feminist blog! Here‘s my first, and I suspect, my last, post.


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  1. Teenagecatgirl

    My, isn’t he attractive.

  2. Ms Kate

    Bonus points for frank honesty, but blecch. Sorely in need of some expectations management.

    If this fails, perhaps he can rent one of those moble marquee things with a flashing arrow and put “Christian Wife Wanted” on it, parked at the end of his driveway?

  3. Amanda Marcotte

    Heh. I was invited, too, and have yet to post. I literally have like 7 blogs I’m supposed to write for and I forget all the time, except for Pandagon.

  4. kelly g.

    “If public (and Christian schools as well) continue to detereorate and become more and more wordly then homeschooling becomes and more and more logical choose.”

    That’s all we need – morons homeskoolin’ their already genetically inferior offspring. His kids (all 2-3 of them, Gawd willing) don’t stand a chance.

    Assuming he ever gets laid, of course.

  5. norbizness

    Is that picture from his time on Mir?

  6. g

    Oh, my. He’s quite a catch. Too bad I’m 51 and happily otherwise occupied.

  7. Hattie


  8. robin

    Norbizness’s comment is funny.
    He does have that puffy goofy look astronauts get when they’ve been freed from gravity.
    The only difference is, the astronauts have valid excuse for the way they look. Heck, they’re astronauts, they can look any danged way they please.

  9. MzNicky

    No way this guy is for real. He’s pulling someone’s leg. Just not possible.

  10. LMYC

    My God told me not to fuck shallow, ugly bastards.

  11. Kaka Mak

    Looking at Big Red on the couch there, this line from “Waiting for Guffman” just keeps playing in my head like an endless loop: “I hate you–and your ass face!”

  12. Les

    Um, is it any wonder he’s a virgin who has never kissed anyone?

    If I were going to post a profile for dating men, I would have really specific and unlikely goals, such that almost nobody would fit the bill. Why? Because that’s not my sexual orientation. I wonder what his motivation is?

  13. Donna

    Josh is clearly gay. No straight man spends that much time discussing women’s fashion and jewelry.

  14. Pinko Punko

    Holy schameleons. I wonder how Josh, spawn of two very liberal and enlightened parents could ever come up with those feelings, essentially as if out of thin air. Perhaps the PATRIARCHY? Yes, to answer my own ill-expressed thought.

  15. Ezra

    Did you spot this bit?

    ‘I feel that divorces under any other circumstances and then later remarriage to a new partner would place both of the new partners in adultry (see Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12). If I were to marry a women from an un-Biblical divorce I would be commiting adulty.
    But what about abuse?

    It’s my current understanding that abuse is not Biblical grounds for divorce.’

    Makes you worry, no?

  16. Betsy

    Jesus effin’ christ, that guy scares me. He has WAAAAAAAAY too much time on his hands! The scarier thing is that there’s someone out there for everyone, and more likely than not, someone’s going to marry the jaggoff and have kids with him. *shudder* Imagine being RAISED by him!

  17. weeza

    That thing about bikinis… I’m surprised he hasn’t specified this: http://www.wholesomewear.com/page-3.html

    I can’t wait for their spring line.

  18. Finn

    When confronted with such god-ocity, I usually withdraw and enjoy a few spins of the Church Sign Generator.

    Please excuse if you’ve already seen this:


  19. emjay

    This is my favorite part:

    “I refused to see the last Star Wars movie (Episode 3) simply because I don’t think God wants me to fill my heard with Anakin’s fall to the dark side. I think that time could better be spent in God’s service doing anything else… I wrote an entire paper about the movie from what I feel is a Biblical perspective if anyone is interested.”

    I refuse to actually educate myself about something, but here’s my opinion anyway.

  20. Sola

    I caught that bit about abuse not being grounds for divorce, too: “It’s my current understanding that abuse is not Biblical grounds for divorce. Yes, you should protect yourself (and your children – if there are kids), and a legal seperation is likely in order but I do not see grounds for divorce or remarriage (except for the above reasons).” The “above reasons” were adultery and being divorced by an “unbeliever.”

    So if your husband nooks with someone once in a fit of selfish stupidity, you can divorce him. If he slugs you, kicks you, grabs you by the throat, breaks your bones, ruptures your spleen, and makes you fear for your life, you still have to stay legally married to him?

    Though I totally agree with Josh about TV. None of that in MY house.

    Josh is young, male, white, and living in small-town Indiana. I live only a few counties away. For kids like him, it’s either fundamental Christianity or cheap beer and NASCAR. He picked option A, with a vengeance.

  21. laughingmuse

    emjay, right on. :)

    This guy sounds like a piece of work. Hoo-ee, he’s here in my state! (although I certainly don’t claim responsibility for this state – I haven’t been here too long, and some folks are really insane)

    That whole abuse/divorce this freaks me the fuck out. So as long as a spouse is only having sex with their spouse, they can treat them like utter, utter shit?

    Doesn’t sound very Christian to me. (N.B.: I am a Christian too, just a little more, oh, not insane.)

  22. zz

    Twisty, could you *please* put up a taco post or Bert pic to move is freak boy down the list? I find his picture even more disturbing than the corset piercing you had up a few months ago.

  23. Hattie

    Finn: I am in stitches creating godly messages on church marquees. Thanks so much!

  24. WookieMonster

    Hey! I’ve made the exact same arguement about swimsuits/underwear!!!

    Except I was arguing that I should be able to wear my underwear swimming/out in leiu of an actual swimsuit. Most of my underwear covers quite a bit MORE than my swim suits…I just don’t see how the purpose that the bit of cloth was designed for can make something inherently modest/immodest. If it covers the same area, why the fuck does it matter?

  25. Sylvanite

    Wow! This guy is quite the catch. I can’t imagine why he’s still single. I particularly enjoy his inability to use a spell-checker.

  26. Susan

    Jesus Christ.

    Why is a man’s sexual insecurity always in inverse proportion to his proficiency in language skills.

  27. Sharoni

    What gives this absolute whack-job the idea that any woman in her right mind would actually read to the bottom of his self-involved, self-aggrandizing, of course HE doesn’t have any flaws or faults we need to discuss or contemplate, gawd-awful diatribe, and then think to herself, “gee, you know, I could really fall in love with this guy!” ???????? I agree with those who wonder about his “views” on children (i.e. he probably has no self-confidence about his own sexuality with a real woman who has had any experience at all, so he needs a virgin, and probably wants to grow his own). Maybe the models at wholesomewear could help him out? I’m sure that he would approve of their choices in swimwear and that’s probably enough for HIM to build a relationship on. AND HE CAN’T SPELL !!!!! I’m highly offended that such a blot on the human escutcheon should get any kind of space at all . . . airspace, internet space, ground-space . . . I’m moving back to California.

  28. RCinProv

    Bring back the frozen meatloaf!!!

    It’s far more attractive than this guy.

  29. Violet Socks

    Too hilarious that a guy who has never been laid feels the need to draft a 37-point document outlining his requirements for a mate. Jesus Fucking Christ.

  30. Kelley

    It boggles the mind. The concept of “loser” doesn’t even begin to approach the level of idiocy and hubris this asshole exudes. Like any woman would have that moron.

  31. Liz

    Why is a man’s sexual insecurity always in inverse proportion to his proficiency in language skills.

    Ahahahaha! Somebody ought to apply for a grant quick, finally here’s a study that might actually shed some light on how the world works.

  32. thebewilderness

    I feel very strongly that this young man needs to read further in his Bible and take to heart Pauls advice in first Corinthians. Stay a virgin, do not marry. Save the children of the world a lot of grief, please.

  33. Sara

    “If public (and Christian schools as well) continue to detereorate and become more and more wordly then homeschooling becomes and more and more logical choose.”

    Personally, I pity his kids if he really *does* decide that homeschooling is the “more and more logical choose.” ::shudders:: The poor kiddies… they don’t stand a chance, with spelling and grammar like that.

  34. Twisty

    I was thinking he should just join a nunnery. He obviously wants to marry Jesus.

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