There can no longer be any doubt that we’re all on languishing on the edge of a Dark-Age-calibre penumbra of politics and philosophy and art and dog-breeding and salad greens. Because I am an ass—which is to say I’m an average human—I’ve been in denial about the advent of this Dark Age, even as 9/11 turned the American president into a half-witted toxic avenger and intellectuals into reviled villains and French fries into “freedom fries.” Then came Enron and Schiavo and Alito and Abramoff and “America’s Top Model.” I winced, but looked the other way. But as of this morning three more globs of incontrovertible evidence had beached themselves on the craggy rocks at Twisty Point, and suddenly I can’t ignore the Dark Age no more. It’s here, and it’s severe.
Evidence such as:
NPR says that the European Union, in the wake of recent interesting Palestinian parliamentary developments, is shitting several bricks over the “islamification” of the Middle East. It’s sinking in that democratically-elected governments can be even worse than the despotic regimes they replace, and that no christian honky European democracy is immune. How hilarious will it be when France gets islamified, and Parisiennes who don’t want acid thrown on’em have to wear Chanel burkas?
What’s creepy is that Hamas isn’t philosophically all that different from the Bush administration, in terms of both godbaggery and terrorosity. Godbags-in-chief manipulate their peasantry to accept oppression by rewarding unenlightened fundamentalism and punishing iconoclasm. Bush, Hamas, what’s the diff? Godbags are godbags. It’s only a matter of degree. The US oppresses and maims and kills more people in a day than Hamas has even dreamed of oppressing and maiming and killing.
Then I read in the Daily Mail that Britain has undergone a “moral awakening” resulting in a desperate nationwide desire to make abortions harder to get. This attitude, which derives from the venerable godbag concept of punishing sluts, is indicative of the misogynist sensation that’s sweepin’ my own nation. A successful Dark Age demands state control of uteruses.
Then I heard a snippet of some radio show Ray Suarez is doing on intelligent design. Seriously discussing it, as though intelligent design is anything other than 15th century psuedo-science! Quoth some redneck mother (not to be confused with our Redneck Mother) “As long as they teach my kids that God created man and we didn’t evolve from no apes I don’t care!”
[Note: Because my copy editor is taking a cruise on the QE2, and I can't tell the difference between the "draft" and "publish" buttons, this post appeared earlier in a slightly different form. Sorry for any confusion.]