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Feb 11 2006

Spam Views Clinton Through Penis-Colored Glasses

Sometimes these things are just hypnotically poetical.

14 comments

  1. Sara

    Thank you, Twisty! I got this, too, and found the subject line so hilarious that it tempted me for a split second to forward it. And I did wonder if the message itself would fulfill the promise of that teaser. Sadly, it is my policy never, ever to open spam, so I just pitched it without opening it.

    What continues to astonish me is that this approach obviously works well enough to be repeated. I mean, somebody out there is, uh, swallowing this pitch and its ilk frequently enough to make it profitable or we wouldn’t keep seeing things like this in our inboxes.

    Who? Who is responding to this? How is it that they have credit cards not controlled by a conservator? And how can there possibly be so many of them?

  2. kactus

    I found myself laughing at the mental image of Klinton’s “bright and attractive” political career. Oh boy.

  3. Liz

    I love it! The Klinton-Levinsky Manifesto of Manhood.

  4. Eric

    Twisty, allow me to submit for your consideration:

    http://www.sperare.com/spam_poetry/blogger.html
    http://rocket2nowhere.blogspot.com/2005/03/so-youre-ah-developing-content-rdh.html

  5. Cass

    “Who? Who is responding to this? How is it that they have credit cards not controlled by a conservator?”

    Was I the only one who immidiately wondered if our currant Presidant, Gorge Busch, has an emale account of his own?

  6. Nebris

    *blink blink*

    ~M~

  7. mythago

    The obsession with the Clenis never really ends…

  8. drumgurl

    I always thought Clinton wanted his sex scandals to come out. Honestly, it did work for him. Without the sex scandals, the public would have thought he was too “emasculated” by Hillary. By publicly cheating on her, he showed America who was Really In Charge.

    I could be wrong. But I know too many redneck Iowa boys who just loved to defend Clinton’s cheating. They saw Clinton as a “man’s man” and that’s the only reason they could vote for a guy who (supposedly) defended women’s rights and who was married to a (supposed) feminist.

  9. gayle

    I don’t think Clinton wanted the Lewinsky affair (can you call it that?) to come out, Drumgurl. But the polls seemed to indicate it did help him. If you recall his numbers, and more infuriating, Hillary’s numbers, WENT UP in the aftermath.

    People tend to forget this as they get swept up in the rightwing, after-the-fact spin.

    The original Flowers scandal gave Clinton a must needed boost during the primaries and then the General Election. Some pundits at the time explained this boost by claiming the average American was offended by the intrusion into Bill and Hill’s private live. Baloney! In actuality, Bill’s horn-dog image gave him that much needed “man’s man” cred.

    The GOP tried to emasculate Clinton using the same techniques they used on Gore and then Kerry. If you remember Clinton was a “waffler” and a “draft dodger,” etc., and so forth. And his wife didn’t STAY HOME AND MAKE COOKIES. Oh, the horror!!

    But Flowers made him worthy of your Iowa boys’ votes.

    What bothers me more is how Hillary’s numbers skyrocketed after the Lewinsky scandal. After this feminist “Co-President” became just another wronged wife, a whole lot of Americans could finally relate to her. Ugh.

  10. Gayle

    Upon re-reading my last post, I realize that was just my long-winded way of saying I agreed with you, Drumgurl.

    Too bad no one got the message to Gore when he ran. There he was being all super monogamous and lovey-dovey with the wife and all when he should been upping his dudely credentials. And there seems to be only two ways to do that in the US: you can be a warrior or you can be a cheater. Yeah!

    If Hillary does run, she absolutely has to go for the former, however. Female cheaters get no bonus points at all.

  11. Cass

    “…there seems to be only two ways you can (up your dudely credentials) in the US: you can be a warrior or you can be a cheater.”

    Well, we already know Hillary stands tall, proud, and erect behind our Iraqi adventure, and she also really disapproves of those who burn our nation’s flag. It’ll be grimly fascinating to watch, as 2008 rolls around, what other stunts she pulls to convince us she’s man enough for the job. Not being a governor she has no prisoners to fry; but there’s also that longstanding tradition among candidates of dressing up in camouflage and- with the press in tow- going out to pointlessly kill some defenseless animals. James Wolcott relates one such episode, here, from Bush’s first campaign for governor; it ended rather badly but, as the story notes, probably netted him some votes anyway:

    http://jameswolcott.com/archives/2006/02/vice_president.php

  12. Kaka Mak

    “Penis-colored glasses.”
    I love this. I can’t wait to use it.

  13. Kate

    Clinton gained approval not only for bagging Lewinsky, but also for pitching poor women over the cliff when he signed the Welfare Deform Act.

    Of course we all know Hilary gained points for standin by her man, but what else is she to do? Her existance is a shadow of him, she’s a wife first a woman second.

    That’s why women who want to have their own identity shouldn’t marry until they’ve made their identity on their own. That is Hilary’s double bind ala patriarchy. And this country isn’t ready to consider her or any other woman for president and I believe she knows that.

    But, just maybe skewering her will backfire on the right. I dunno I just don’t know. No one knows until its tried. Jump Hillary, jump and then we’ll know how hard the fall.

    Men look at women with boob colored glasses all day. i want some penis colored glasses to look at the assholes I have to deal with.

  14. Sharoni

    The spelling on that ad is like nails on a blackboard, I could barely bear to read it. Have we sent this to Josh yet? I think he needs to include it in the curriculum I’m sure he’s working up even now for his future children’s home schooling.

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