O my fucking taco salad.
Wife kidnapper and child pornographer Travis Frey, who has a single flatworm where his brain should be, is currently the object of much internet gagging and ridicule for his “Contract of Wifely Expectations,” a four-page document outlining in excruciating detail the standards of decorum he imagined himself worthy of inspiring in his wife. It is doubtful that a bigger loser has ever walked the earth, but if you know of one, please keep it to yourself. I can’t take much more of this.
A chilling excerpt:
“Shaving will be done every third day, and includes underams, legs, and pubic area (navel to anus), all areas are to be completely clean shaven. Every Saturday you are to use the Walh [sic] clippers with a guard no greater than 1/2″, and then present yourself to me for measurement checks. Above your vaginal slit you can have 1) A rectangle patch; that must be centered above your vaginal slit, it will have a length no greater than 3/4″ the length of your vaginal slit, no wider than 1 in.; 2) Any other shape or design that is centered and above your vaginal slit, with an area of no greater than that of an equilateral triangle with a height of 3/4″ the length of your vaginal slit; or 3) Completely and totally clean shaven. Regardless of which choice of shave, noncompliance is based on a #2 rate.”
Vaginal slit, my ass.
[thanks ( I think), to Jen and Lou. Via Smoking Gun]