And you thought Godly Josh was a piece of work. On the subject of this deranged buttcrack, I have this to say:
O my fucking taco salad.
Wife kidnapper and child pornographer Travis Frey, who has a single flatworm where his brain should be, is currently the object of much internet gagging and ridicule for his “Contract of Wifely Expectations,” a four-page document outlining in excruciating detail the standards of decorum he imagined himself worthy of inspiring in his wife. It is doubtful that a bigger loser has ever walked the earth, but if you know of one, please keep it to yourself. I can’t take much more of this.
A chilling excerpt:
“Shaving will be done every third day, and includes underams, legs, and pubic area (navel to anus), all areas are to be completely clean shaven. Every Saturday you are to use the Walh [sic] clippers with a guard no greater than 1/2″, and then present yourself to me for measurement checks. Above your vaginal slit you can have 1) A rectangle patch; that must be centered above your vaginal slit, it will have a length no greater than 3/4″ the length of your vaginal slit, no wider than 1 in.; 2) Any other shape or design that is centered and above your vaginal slit, with an area of no greater than that of an equilateral triangle with a height of 3/4″ the length of your vaginal slit; or 3) Completely and totally clean shaven. Regardless of which choice of shave, noncompliance is based on a #2 rate.”
Vaginal slit, my ass.
[thanks ( I think), to Jen and Lou. Via Smoking Gun]
“During my time you will:
1)Be subservient, submissive and totally obedient;
2)Do what you are asked, when you are asked, exactly how you are asked;
3)Be cheerful & adoring towards me always;
4)Be close at all times, unless otherwise told to;
5)Perform any and all sexual acts (exclduing anal penetration and/or ingestion of cum, when told to.)”
Arsehole extroadinaire! And I would not hesitate to saw this guy’s nuts off with a rusty butter knife…or I WOULD, if I believed that such deranged misogyny were a product of biology, and not just one small point on the Patriarchal Ownership of Women Continuum.
What a villainous bag of wine-flavoured custard.
Wasn’t it Germaine Greer who said women have no idea how much men hate them?
Twenty bucks says some of the BDSM crowd is going to show up to explain that this is just normal “topping” behavior and is entirely compatible with a loving, respectful relationship.
Even the font he uses is creepy.
I take it those photos he is talking about taking of his wife are porno ones.
The worst thing is that this will give some men *ideas*.
A list presented to me with one-quarter of that crap would earn Big Daddy some quality time with a heavy duty staple gun.
Now where did I leave those shears?
The guy can barely put together a sentence: “This we be consider my birthday gift from you.” And notice how his favorite shave is completely bare. I’m not surprised by the child pronography charges.
I can’t even read past the first page. It’s too revolting that any human could possibly want this from another human. This is a man in dire need of one of those real-dolls, if we must suffer him to continue breathing valuable air.
This kind of thing is enough to make a straight woman lose her sexual interest entirely.
What. The. Fuck. Is this psycho for real?! I’ll give him ‘unexpected anal’–with a rusty knife.
might we suggest euthanasia?
Outta my way girls, he’s all mine.
“This kind of thing is enough to make a straight woman lose her sexual interest entirely.”
You think that’s bad? It makes a spinster aunt lose her lunch.
This guy deserves to go a round (or three) with the chupacabra.
What the Dickens!?
The sicko-est part is where he says that he intends to rape his wife, and to use rape as a punishment:
“You are to do everything that is requested or expected of you, if you do not
you are considered noncompliant. You are also noncompliant if you start
something and can not or will not finish, even if you state that you are in
pain or something hurts. If you are noncompliant then you lose three times
amount of GBD’s that would have been given. If you don’t have enough GBD’s
to cover the loss, then you will be tied to the bed and I will do whatever I
wish too you. This will continue every night until you are ready to be
compliance, at which time you will need to apologize and explain how you are
ready to be my sex slave again.”
Note also that even though the “contract” is not signed, at the end Mr Sicko mentions that this isn’t a contract, just a “description of rules” that he will expect his slave/wife to follow, whether she agrees or not.
I searched for news stories about this guy, but very little turned up. What’s the story? Did he actually try to enforce this crap? What’s the deal with the kidnapping? Anybody know?
13th. Amendment
to the U.S. Constitution
Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
*cough*
Fucking taco salad indeed.
I suppose usually these types of pus-bags express themselves by relatively mundane (”mundane”?) rape; more of an everyday misogyny plus extra acute violence kind of thing. But to plan this poor woman’s existence as a sort of business proposal? What an amazing achievement on behalf of the patriarchy.
Also, what Delphyne said regarding the font(s). Using just one of these three typefaces in a letter, regardless of content, would be grounds for a break-up.
I’m not usually a fan of cheap prison-sex references, but the irony is inescapable.
HA!
“All skirts are to be no more than 2 inches below the knee (unless it’s for church).”
Godly sadism!
So I could still wear a miniskirt to church?
And I have to explain to people why I’m not a pacifist.
“I searched for news stories about this guy, but very little turned up. What’s the story? Did he actually try to enforce this crap? What’s the deal with the kidnapping? Anybody know?”
No, and no one will know because to the assbag patriarchy, it isn’t such a big deal, just a little glimpse and then shuttle him off to the pen so he can trade fantasies and prepare his plans for when he gets out.
I couldn’t read the whole damn thing, I am sick already.
Reminds me of women I have known through my life that I oft wonder about, one in particular that I think of often:
Met her in a bar (when I used to go to those places)with her boyfriend. He was using her for sexertainment and passing her around to all his friends. No problem for her. After a few drinks she casually relates to me how she doesn’t wear underwear because that’s how her father liked her, from the age of 11 on and oh..he shared her with her brothers too. All in casual conversation mind you. And I still think of the assholes who couldn’t stop talking about how they’d had sex with her here there and everywhere like she was nothing but a fucking peice of rubber. She had a daughter, it gave me horrors.
She also related how she shaves all over, because daddy liked her that way and now she’s ’so used to it’.
A woman who had an ex who was obviously sexually abusing her son and was the most obnoxious asshole on earth and she kept taking her son to him and went into a rage when I suggested that she might want to keep her little boy safe at home instead.
All the loser assholes I have met or known who are so damn close to both of those creeps because I didn’t know any better and had no way to discern a decent man from a borderline psychopath (like the woman described above).
But I also knew feminists and they had spoken to me in my ear, given me things to read and saved my life, if not a bit slowly, they did.
When women do speak up against this behavior and make it known to girls and young women that men like this are creeps and that they DO NOT need a man to exist and most importantly, that if they fall, they are redeemable, they can be saved and will be saved by the women who understand, care and believe that women are not garbage to be thrown away once ‘used’.
I can’t write anymore, I’m going down emotionally. I must stop now.
Keep drawing them out Twisty.
And it would be interesting to know what happened to that asshole.
And I agree with the poster on the site about that man/boy. He’s a pedophile in the making.
The saddest thing to me is that the only fact I find very unusual is that he bothered to put the rules in writing. I’m not saying that individual things on the list (the shaving, of the careful control of bedtime) are not sick and unusual, but any abused woman is very familiar with this amount of control.
We find this one specially creepy because he wrote all this down and because there is a child pornography connection somewhere. But don’t be fooled, this guy is not an exception, all the statistics I have checkad (and they are a lot), say that between 10% and 25% men are abusive. And the issue is never really how much sex or much much underwear, the issue is controlling the woman more than she can stand.
“The worst thing is that this will give some men *ideas*.”
It’s your standard male fantasy in contract form. For multimedia versions, visit the magazine rack at your local convenience store or bookstore. Unless he was actually successful in enforcing that contract, I doubt it’ll give any man ideas he hasn’t already had from watching porn. Playboy doesn’t even need a contract. The women there are 100% natural and like it that way. [end sarcasm]
Yes, sick indeed. Here’s a story that really frosts my muffins. Not as twisted as this dude, but worthy of patriarchy-blaming nonetheless:
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/local/states/california/northern_california/13890589.htm
How dare that woman go off to gamble and leave her baby in the care of its father!
I can only imagine that if he were the one inside the casino, and she were asleep in the car, the headline would read “Baby dies in truck while mom naps in front seat.”
I can’t be the only one who reads these kinds of things and immediately thinks of you. What a dubious honor that must be.
it was only after i got away from my control freak of a husband when i realized the extent that i was under his control.
then for a short while i was able to only attract those kind of men. luckily for me, having so many kids was a detterrent to them or i’d be enslaved now.
it took several years before i fully understood how to manage control issues in a relationship to my advantage. and to be honest, weilding all the power was no fun. i found the more power i had, the less i liked the guys i was controlling. so i ditched the guys i had control issues with (you know, it was either me OR them).
and the current guy? no power struggle at all. i feel very lucky. i read about all these assholes and i know that if i hadn’t found the current guy i’d still be elated to be on my own and alone.
Twisty, I just want to thank you for, once again, causing me to laugh my ass off at the same time I am crying hysterically. Very therapeutic. I owe you.
I’ve known quite a few pieces of work like this guy. I googled him and he’s been arrested and charged with first degree kidnapping and having child porn on his computer. It’s something.
What’s really creepy is reading men’s responses all over the internet: “So? What’s wrong with that? It was up to her whether she agreed or not.”
Heart
Whenever I hear a story like this, I try imagining what in the abuser’s childhood made him into such a person. Sometimes this fills me with a malicious satisfaction, and sometimes (in my more enlightened moods) it gives me some compassion for him. But it always puts things in perspective.
Xtreme patriarchy put through an Obsessive Compusive Disorder generator. Sad, sad, sad.
I suspect that Cass is on to something here - any bets that women and children in his natal household were held to such exacting standards of meaningless precision?
Upon first glance I thought it was satire. I guess it could be useful reading for when you feel really sick but can’t vomit, and you know you’ll feel better once you do.
My favorite part is how she is exempt from certain obligations during her menstrual cycle. Those with any modicum of medical education know the menstrual cycle starts at menarche and repeats more or less continuously until menopause.
Right. Once again, thanks Twisty. If ever in doubt, all I need is a good, swift dose of you and IBTP sisterhood to set me straight. And the comments….hilarious and dead on and each of them so juicy and wonderful!! All I could say was “right on”, “right on” over and over again. Christ, this fuckead is beyond disgusting. I just keep shaking my head. He must have been horribly abused as a child, I can’t think of why else he would produce something like this? Think about it, so carefully, and then write it all down and then actually PRESENT IT TO his fiancee. They really do hate us.
OMG. I find this whole thing galling, but the thing that really sticks in my craw is this douchebag’s grotesquely inflated sense of entitlement. He honestly thinks he some sort of prize who deserves to have his every whim catered to, with no inconvenience to him or sacrifice required of him. Bleck! What happens inside someone’s head to inflate their sense of importance or kingliness so perversely?
I agree with whoever said they’d happily castrate the asshole with a rusty butter knife. Hey, Lorena Bobbit, it’s time for you to come out of retirement. Your work is clearly not done.
PUKE!
It vaguely reminded me of the place I used to work. (I only got through the first page.)
I wonder what my ex would say about it.
Well this was certainly cathartic Saturday reading. As in: I think my entire brain just shot itself into orbit with projectile force through every single orifice and pore in my body. Gaaah.
“What happens inside someone’s head to inflate their sense of importance or kingliness so perversely?”
They grow up male! That’ll pretty much do it in most circumstances.
I sat there, totally gobsmacked, and read the first page. As I read the rest of it, I started giggling, and then chortling and I finally ended up laughing my non-shaven ass off.
I think it’s the same reflex that makes some people laugh at horror movies. Great googly-moogly, what a freak show. (Him, not this site. I Twisty.)
Well, shit - I put the word “heart” in little brackets, and instead of saying “I heart Twisty”, it just says “I Twisty”, which I obviously not. I dumbass. You Twisty.
Arg.
The reporting in Elena’s story annoyed me. They acted as if there wasn’t an adult with the baby. Hell, they acted as if the father wasn’t there. The boy’s mother was upset? What, was the father just like “oh dang, lost one”? Actually, I’m afraid he was.
And I you too LL
PRESENT IT TO his fiancee
According to the story, she was his *wife*, not his fiance, and he allegedly kidnapped her, tied her up and sexually assaulted her. (Evidently she
didn’t earn enough GBD’s…’good behavior days’ …where she gets to
NOT perform what is expected of her the rest of the time.)
Also according to the story, she never signed this document, but I couldn’t keep
from wondering how long they had been married and how long she had
put up with this shit.
[the sicko had evidently put a lot of thought into pubic hairdos]
I’m with the poster who said this could make a straight woman swear off
heterosexual sex.
violet socks, as someone who participates in bdsm play in her relationships, i have to say here that this frey guy is batshit crazy and should be locked up for a very long time.
if she didn’t agree to it, which she didn’t, it’s not bdsm, it’s abuse.
we can go into long discussions about whether or not bdsm is inherently abusive of women; i at the very least think it’s deeply problematic. (it’s just that it’s deeply problematic and also what carbonates my hormones.)
What is so bizarre is that one minute he’s going off on how this deviant sexual shit is required, the next minute he’s saying she should be open to cuddling and spooning him. As if he thinks this is a normal, loving relationship…just with things spelled out in writing.
Wow. One one hand, I’m glad people are talking about this stuff and fanning the flames of Patriarchy blaming…on the other hand it is making it very hard to read this stuff and keep wanting to have sex with my hubby (who is a sweetie). God this sucks.
I just learned that they had been married for nine years.
Jeez, nine years of that shit.
I wonder what it took to “kidnap” her…i.e. did he have
to take her to an abandoned warehouse?
AND they had two kids. I wonder if he maintained that
kind of control during the whole nine years.
yuck.
This guy is just Josh grown up, isn’t he? I mean, Josh will find fewer and fewer outlets for his little sexual/marital requirements, and they will get stricter and stricter as he gets more desperate, and goddesses help the poor female he eventually snares. I can’t even believe this crap. I’m with all those who feel this particular creep should be relieved of his genitals. Or better yet, have a frontal lobotomy a la Hannibal Lecter and be allowed to eat his own brain. I blame the patriarchy.
I’m kind of horribly fascinated that his aesthetic can express the extent of pubic hair as a proportion of something refered to as “vaginal slit” (I mean, is there a standard for measuring this mythical orifice?). Must be some kind of patriarchal Golden Mean, maintained in secret observance by a Platonic Penistic Brotherhood of Vagina Objectifiers.
Ah, nice send button. A big improvement on “submit”!
This particular story’s shown up several places in my RSS aggregator this weekend. Setting aside the sufficiently distressing mental brokeness of that contract-that’s-not-a-contract, I was thrown for a loop by the exculpatory tone of the comments on gendergeek’s blog.
Wow, you’re not kidding. “Why is this story important”?? Cheeses, it’s like a window into the pornsick male mind. How isn’t it important? This kind of stuff the bread-and-butter of patriachy-blaming!
This guy is a jackass beyond measure, so much so that any epithet I think of for him (e.g., “jackass”) seems like a cartoonish impersonation of what he REALLY is. He has forfeited all rights to his balls, and they should be removed slowly and laboriously with, as one commenter suggested, a rusty butter knife.
HOWEVER. Let’s NOT conflate this sick fuck’s sickness with stuff like, ya know, porn. I really take issue with sweeping generalizations such as, “Unless he was actually successful in enforcing that contract, I doubt it’ll give any man ideas he hasn’t already had from watching porn. Playboy doesn’t even need a contract.” I know Joida ended that comment with “[/sarcasm]”, but I wasn’t sure exactly where the sarcasm was there. I hate that I and other sex-positive, pro-porn feminists have to constantly fight this fight of showing that porn doesn’t universally equal “bad” or “misogynistic.” These kinds of polarizing generalizations only serve to internally divide feminists, when we need to all stand united in the face of freaks such as the esteemed Mr. Frey.
Flame me if you like, but whatever you do, do NOT attempt to turn my words into an apology, excuse, justification, or approval for this deranged nut.
I’d rather hang-glide naked over an erupting volcano than even have a conversation with this buttmonkey. Reading his list of demands nearly caused my morning oatmeal to make a second appearance.
Chilling. Absolutely chilling.
The sad thing is that (although it’s usually unwritten) most batterers have these exact requirements of their wives- to some degree or other.
I have actually seen similar documents in batterer’s “settlement agreements” with their soon-to-be-ex wives. I have seen one where a guy requested that his ex-wife come to his house every day, clean house, take care of their kids, and then LEAVE to her own apartment when he got home - in order for her to receive any alimony (she had been a stay-at-home mom) . It was the only way he would “agree” for her to see their kids.
Obviously, she declined to sign such an “agreement” (read: coercion).
The disastrous thing is that the contents of “settlement agreements” are not allowed as evidence in court if you don’t settle, so she was not able to present it as a piece of proof that he was batshit crazy.
Frightening stuff.
Well, Amber, when you consider, as I do, that there exists very little porn that is about anything other than 2-dimensional female “sexuality” as a response to male fantasy–and even girly-lesbo porn follows the model–it seems to me that this buttmunch is just Porn Nation taken to its logical conclusion. All that was left was to kill her.
I still respectfully disagree. He may have been bad, misogynistic porn taken to its logical extreme; that is a point on which I can agree. However, there is plenty of porn out there that is sex-positive and pro-woman, and the numbers are increasing every day. Have a look at the growing (mainly NYC-based) altporn movement for just a sampling. And this is not all or only “girly-lesbo” porn either, although I applaud porn that embraces the full spectrum of sexuality, sexual orientation, and queerness. (Being a flaming hetero myself, I like there to be some dudes involved, but I digress, as this is not an eposé on my personal porn preferences.) The bouncing blonde bimbos seen groping each other on Girls Gone Wild are certainly not representative of anything other than a certain type of male fantasy (the misogynistic and objectifying type), as you pointed out. But that crap isn’t comparable at all to the thoughtful (and hot) varieties coming out of the altporn and new-porn movements.
Didn’t mean to take this thread off course; the implication that porn is always bad is just a pet peeve of mine, and being an uppity feminist bitch (triple redundancy there?), I can’t keep my mouth shut.
Oh man there’s more than one Amber blaming the patriarchy now! We need a numbering system or something.
(groans, slaps forehead) Here we go again . . . .
Ever notice how when someone uses the world “alternative” as a qualifier (or in this case the truncated “alt”), whatever it is s/he’s describing really doesn’t change its inherent nature, it just becomes the trendier version of what came before. Kurt Cobain still played an electric guitar and wrote songs in 4/4 time about getting high and hating your dad. He just did it wearing dirty flannel and maroon Vans sneakers so it was alternative. “Alternative” is a marketing ploy, not a unique genre.
If altporn were truly any different (and from what I’ve seen, it is not) than mainstream porn in the way that Amber claims it is then it wouldn’t really be called porn. You get your rocks off to porn. That’s why the flaming hetero that you are wants to see dudes in your porn. And THAT’s what makes ALL porn wrong - the commodification of (mostly) women’s bodies for your masturbatory pleasure.
You know, my dark alley isn’t big enough to accommodate the galaxy-sized beatdown I would have to visit upon this utter waste of carbon matter. There are not epithets and curses enough for him. But maybe a thank you is in order, because you cannot have a much more straightforward revelation of patriarchy than this. Holy fuck, who could defend it?
seemed pretty clear that what this guy really wanted was a fuck doll who would also clean up a bit. I mean “my time” until midnight? “present yourself for inspection”? and she went through with the wedding?!?!?
I just don’t see “masturbatory pleasure” as a bad thing. I see it as an awesome thing, something to be celebrated and embraced.
Believe it or not, I wince somewhat at the term “alt porn,” but since there’s not a better term out there to describe this type of porn, I use what I’ve got because it gets the point across.
Oh well, I guess this is a dead horse by now.
That’s because the commodification is what’s bad. The fact that you get off on it is just sort of, well, uninspired and typical.
But how not surprised am I that someone who equates pornography with sexual freedom & fulfillment focuses on my reference to “masturbatory pleasure” rather than commodification? Not much. Oh how nothing matters so much as an individual’s right to orgasm.
Speaking of beating dead horses, repeating yet again- she did not sign this ‘contract’. It was not a prenup. It was something this sicko thought of after 8 or 9 years and then carried out against her will.
And why is the commodification of anyone’s body (done with their express consent to their own advantage) inherently wrong? How is that different from “erotic” art? How is that different from simple pictures of people modeling clothing? You’re conclusions, based on this assumption, are all drawn from this.
Would you mind explaining the inherent problem with commodification?
“Would you mind explaining the inherent problem with commodification?”
It’s too bad slavery got outlawed here a few years back, or you could ask a slave or two to explain it to you.
a) There are plenty of modern slaves in the world I can ask, if I really need an opinion.
b) I wonder how many of them would believe that the commodification of a person by the fact that their photographic representation was being objectified in a sexual manner was equivalent to, I dunno, actual human bondage?
But thanks for trying to explain Puffin’s absurd assumption. More than we can say for her/him.
For those of you male-bashers who just don’t get it…how about taking a good hard look at any of the myriad of BDSM dating websites out there and see how many thousands of intelligent, well adjusted, sane, and coherent women are out there ACTIVELY SEEKING dominant males to have relationships EXACTLY like the one this guy described in his contract. It would also please you to know there are just as many men wanting to serve dominant women that way. That can’t be such a bad thing, can it? It seems many of you would really love to have a guy you could walk all over.
Here’s a question: So many of you think this guy is so disgusting and should be locked up - or treated to staple guns(lady xoc), shears(hattie), and rusty knives(kat) because - AND ONLY BECAUSE - of his lifestyle. SO…….you must have no problem with rednecks and skinheads putting the boots to them “FAGS” out there either, I assume. I thought this was America. What makes you so different than Adolf Hitler??
Now, is this guy really a pedophile? Did he really commit the acts that his wife accused him of - AGAINST her will?? If a jury says yes, then let’s send him up the river and let Bubba have his way with the guy in a cold cell.
But the news is sketchy at best….there are NO FACTS available. Somebody PLEASE present me the EVIDENCE that shows her allegations to be 100% true. You are all ready to castrate him and chop him into pieces - and he hasn’t even been arraigned yet!! Damn, have we really evolved this little in 400 years? Remember - they used to burn women at the stake for no more than the accusation that they were witches.
I don’t ask much. Really, I don’t. I pay 14 dollars a month to keep this site running, and put in 3 or 4 hours a day doing research and writing posts and keeping up with all the discussions, and all I ask in return is that commenters read the fucking FAQ before posting. Yet here is PBD, ignoring this one simple request. I am forced to conclude that he is just too simple to be published on a patriarchy-blaming blog of this cailbre. Sayonara, PBD.
Twisty, thanks for the site…but I don’t think you should ban PDB.
I think the more outrageous statement is the one that says
“all porn is wrong.” PDB (is that for “presidential daily briefing?)
shouldn’t be banned…just dissed as a troll.
Porn: I know…the objectification of women. Actually, women are often shown
in their entirety while men are objectified by having only the relevant
parts showing. (The only part I really can’t understand is the many
ejaculating-on-the-face thing. That’s not really a turn-on for anyone, is it?
Would finding someone drooling egg whites do the same thing?)
I sort of wondered what ol’ Travis was offering in exchange…i.e. was he
rich? Unless there’s another Travis Frey, he’s a groundskeeper at a golf
course. What a dipshit.
I’m also guessing that his wife put up with his shit for nine years and then
when she balked is when he “kidnapped” her.
If anyone has read “The Story of O”…a lot of this jerk’s ideas are from that book.
LizDexic, the point is not that “all porn is wrong.” The point is that all porn that is produced under auspices of patriarchy is misogynist. Whether or not that is wrong I leave it to you to decide.
The Story of O is about an empty fuckbot.
As for PBD, he had to leave us because, as he pointed out in a comment I got this morning, I am not intelligent enough, or attractive enough, to fit in with the real world, so I obviously can’t get laid, which is the root of all my problems, and the other readers are all ugly harpies, too, which means he can no longer read this blog.
But then a funny thing happened. He posted again under a different name! Have you ever heard of such a thing? A male commenter who is too good for this sucky blog, sneaking back for more? Now that guy’s a true original!
Ok. Ban him. (I’d say “fuck him” but who would want to.)
How about taking a good hard look at any of the myriad of BDSM dating websites out there and see how many thousands of intelligent, well adjusted, sane, and coherent women are out there ACTIVELY SEEKING dominant males to have relationships EXACTLY like the one this guy described in his contract.
Regardless of how one feels about BDSM, this contract was not part of a BSDM relationship; it was abuse inflicted on a woman by her spouse. Last time I checked, BDSM required a “safe word” or something similar, and a BDSM relationship is agreed to by both partners, regardless of who is the dom. This contract contains neither of these.
So stop acting like this guy is all “alternative lifestyle” because he’s actually just a dick.
God site. Thanks!