I can’t think of a damn thing to write about. So here’s your chance to complain about anti-porn feminists or the impending extinction of male gynecologists, or describe how BDSM saved your marriage, or celebrate male prostitutes, or even, god forbid, something that doesn’t have to do with sex, and I’ll butt out.
I just want to say that as a graduate of a Christian university that attempted to impose policy to fire employees who got divorced, my budding, patriarchy-blaming soul is absolutely thrilled by your website. Since you couldn’t think of anything to write about, I have a question. What’s your take on The Bachelor? Suddenly it is everywhere and I can’t even watch CNN without hearing about it.
Well chalk up a win for the Patriarch Blamers- Larry Summers erstwhile President of Harvard University (yup the one who gave a speech on how female DNA keeps women from excelling at the sciences, which prompted a number of women scientists to exit the room) is resigning as President of that august institution as of June 30th, making his one of the shortest tenures in Harvard history. Conjecture has it that his resignation is a result of a vote of no confidence by the Harvard faculty, who have been in full blown revolt.
College Republicans throughout the internet are screaming that his forced resignation is caving in to the “suppression of free speech” by the -well you know what they call Patriarchy bashers but I refuse to use terms coined by patriarchy wannabes. Hurrah for this slap back of an effort by Summers and his ilk to reinstitute 19th definitions of female mental capacities. It’s good to see that the profs of Harvard, many of the bightest minds in the country aren’t going to put up with turning back the clock.
When we got our democracy in 1994, we women had a lot of input via the Womens Caucus and so forth. So, we got totally mysogyny-free abortion laws. Safe, legal, no conditions etc. This week, a group called Doctors for Life took a case to the Constitutional Court (our highest) claiming that the Constitution had been violated by this law on technical legal grounds. And so the wingnut menace spreads worldwide (much like avian flu, but more deadly).SA women are on tenterhooks because it seems as if the law, and therefore abortions, will have to be suspended while discussions takes place.
Why do they hate us so?
“Old Bay” seasoning is gross. Or whatever it is the grocery store used when steaming the shrimp I bought.
See, because I was making a very spicy curry, I didn’t really need the shrimp to be ultra-fresh, so when they offered to steam them for me, I said yes. Of course, I expected just STEAMED shrimp. I didn’t expect them to put this horrible spice concoction on it which had nothing to do with the curry I was actually making.
Mandos, Mandos, Mandos. How deluded can one person… no wait. I agree with you.
I will say the stuff ain’t bad on soft-shell crabs. Or for disguising inedible fish such as escolar in order to play mean practical jokes on people. Escolar in Old Bay seasoning, of course, is best presentationed on a bed of frisee, with Olestra-containing fat-free Tater Tots on the side.
Will someone please tell me why the fuck I insist on spending $5 for what amounts to a mint-flavored coffee slushy?
Aside from that I’m a moron, I mean.
The best thing I ever used in the preparation of shrimp is Zatarain’s Crab Boil. The vapors make your eyes tear up in the kitchen while the shrimp is boiling (only in a copper-bottomed kettle), but the end product is heaven.
biosparite
Why oh why does my box scheme insist on giving me tomatos? Don’t they know it is February? And we are in England?
Can I blame the patriarchy?
It’s too damn cold and rainy for Mardi Gras. They even cancelled the Krewe des Chiens dog parade Saturday. I blame the evereffing patriarchy. Mandos: what is your shrimp curry recipe? I need something really warm about now. But hold the Tater Tots on frisee.
I blame Chris Clarke for making me lose my appetite.
But as long as we are playing that game, don’t forget the orange Jell-O mold with grated carrots and halved green grapes floating inside topped with Miracle Whip. No, not Kool Whip: Miracle Whip, This is a salad people!Yesssss……..imagine it….mmmmmm
I hate myself today because it’s Tuesday already and I haven’t gotten a goddamn thing done on any of the THREE pieces I need to finish before the end of March. Hate, hate, hate.
In other news, y’all can break out the half-price advent calendars and start counting down to the end of abortion. I wonder if any enterprising ob/gyns would be willing to stick their necks out and take on lay apprentices in preparation?
There was a news report on cosmetic surgery a couple of nights ago; specifically, the increasing number of Australian teenage girls pestering their parents for said surgery to correct their perceived flaws. When I heard of this vile case of patriarchal mind poisoning, I exclaimed something to the effect of “that’s terrible!” Then my brother (who’s going on thirteen and my junior by nearly a decade) shrugged and said, “It’s their bodies. They can do what they like with them.” (It starts so young!)
When I proceeded to tell him about the insane amount of pressure put on young girls to subject their bodies to all sorts of primitve rituals in order to hew to patriarchally-approved beauty standards, he said, “Ok, so teenage girls are too young to have cosmetic surgery to fix their looks. But women forty and over should be allowed to have it.” Incredulous, I asked him why.
“Have you SEEN the wrinkles on some women? They’re the ones who NEED it,” came the reply.
Pardon the language, but I blame the fucked-up, asshat Patriarchy.
Now I should say, having successfully done the Tater Tot Troll Thing (I AM NOT A TROLL). that the non-fat-free kind are pretty acceptable if you put Thai sweet chili sauce on them.
I served them at a somewhat fancy party at a friend’s house about twenty years ago, and a couple of the guests at said party, who had lived socially deprived childhoods in the Hamptons, marveled at them and asked me for the recipe.
My secret: I put a cocktail toothpick in each Tot.
Speaking of disgusting and like Old Bay, also from the state of Maryland is State Comptoller and octogenarian Don Schaefer who had an assistant come back after delivering coffee, so he had a second chance to leer at her sashay and was videotaped. The sad thing is he apologized and has no idea what for. http://www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2006/02_16-57/GOV
I like bunnies. Little fluffy, furry bunnies. I wish there were, like, bunny petting stations all over the city where I could just stop and play with the bunnies. I blame the patriarchy for the dearth of bunnies in my life.
Every morning I drink my coffee out of a gigantic, pink, ceramic mug. The mug has Tinkerbell (the fairy) on it - and parts of her body stick out slightly from the mug. On closer inspection, it was discovered that her breasts and her butt stick out from the mug. Every morning, while I’m drinking my coffee, I’m also fondling Tinkerbell’s ass.
The best part? After it was discovered, several of my friends also went to buy Tinkerbell mugs so they could do it too. We’re a bunch of Tinkerbell butt-fondling women.
I feel better now that I’ve confessed that.
In other news, and totally unrelated, I’m drinking two mugs of coffee every morning.
I used to have 2 bunnies. Now I have none. I work at a pet store though and I play with the bunnies everyday. It really helps.
My kids and I were watching a TV show the other night together. An ad for a cleaning product — I forget which one — came on, which showed a woman leaping ecstatically through her house while she cleaned it. I said, “Kiddos, why do you think commercials for cleaning products only show *women* cleaning house, never men?” My 5-year-old gave the question careful consideration, then said thoughtfully, “Because men have to work?” Not that I work, or anything, or that she sees both her parents doing dishes and making dinner. IBTP.
Okay, Chris Clarke et al., what the hell are tater tots? You crazy Murkins have all these wacky foods.
On food related subjects it pains me to inform the patriarchy blaming readership that here in Perth, WA, (Australia), we have no good tacos. At all. Australia in general has a real dearth of Mexican (or even Mexicanish) food. So reading about Twisty’s tacos makes me want to weep, because I became somewhat addicted to them when I travelled in the US.
If any talented taco makers want to immigrate, Perth is a nice city with lovely beaches, long summers and a very high standard of living!
Kate, there’s almost nothing Wikipedia doesn’t have a page on these days.
I recommend Spud Puppies as an organic alternative to Tater Tots.
And, as a sign that our work in not all in vain, today I read an assignment in which a white male student cited Patricia Hill Collins and black feminist theory to talk about the intersection of oppressions.
Hey Hissy Cat, I’ve had the idea for a long time that someone could make a ton of money off “kitten therapy” where a person reclined on a soft mattress has a dozen or so kittens placed on top of them for adorable, aw-inducing soul therapy. This is what managing a nonprofit bookstore for non-invasive, medicine-free alternative health can lead to if you do it too long and read too many professional articles.
I’d pay for ten minutes in a cozy room full of kittens, I just haven’t worked out how much yet.
Someone from my very, very small town found my blog, printed out parts of it, sent copies of choice bits to family members, downloaded the entire thing, burned it to cd, and has distributed them all around town. I just found out today. I’m floored.
So much for “blogging naked,” eh?
I wish I had a Tinkerbell mug.
It would be good for smashing right about now.
I love Tater Tots.
Tater tots are vile. I wish I could like them, because I love any other combination of potatoes and hot grease, but their texture makes me gag.
In other wonders - I just spent $30 at Office Depot getting my daughter’s science textbook printed from CD because she hasn’t had a book all semester - in an integrated physics/chemistry class. Who can I blame??
I want mu shu pork. And I want it right now. But I do have kittens.
alyx, remind your brother that men are the ones whose asses flatten out and who lose their hair. Seriously. Whoever said women age worse than men wasn’t wearing their glasses. Men age SHITTY. Time to say it out loud. We keep our hair and our asses may sag a bit, but we still got `em.
Point of consideration: including me, FIVE of closest female friends who are either in or nearing our forties have started graduate school or gone to get another degree.
Male midlife crisis: buy a convertible and start trying to screw teenagers.
Female midlife crisis: an advanced degree.
I love being a woman sometimes. We ROCK.
Male asshats who take offense: fuck off.
I want mu shu pork.
I agree with ginmar.
No kittens, but I gots cats and cheap red wine. Who knows a good mu shu pork delivery place???
They make mu shu chicken, too. And excellent spring rolls. And chicken with garlic sauce. Sigh.
Weirdness. I eat this stuff for breakfast, but I eat cereal for dinner. I’m just not attracted to cereal in the morning. I want lasagne.
Oh, there’s a good Indian place over here, too. Sigh….Food.
Tater tots are wonderful, mostly because you have to wonder how someone thought them up, just before popping them into your mouth.
I’ve got some leftover General Tso’s chicken if anyone wants some.
I had a study audit today. It didn’t go as well as I’d like and I’m tired and cranky. I blame the patriarchy (OK, it had more to do with my recordkeeping and their poorly designed data capture sheets, but I think the patriarchy slides by enough that this time it can take the rap).
If anyone’s into patriarchy-blaming in the cinematic establishment, there’s Alex Jackson from Film Freak Central that needs a good defenestration. Excerpt from far-ish down:
“…masculity is the inherently superior perspective because I am a man. Zacharek’s lack of masculinity significantly reduces her utility as a critic for me.
…
Consider these two perenial questions: what is a woman? What is a man? Do those words have any defined meaning, or should they more or less be retired from the lexicon entirely. Or strictly replaced with the terms “male” and “female” which are to only refer to the mechanics of sexual reproduction?
I’m kind of going to the extreme in divorcing gender entirely from biology actually. Zacharek [a reviewer he’s dissing] is a woman and I am fully expecting her to act like a man if she is to have any use to me.
One of the unsurmountable primary problems that I have about feminism is what the official line on femininity is. Does feminity need to be destroyed and do woman need to assume a masculine identity? How much of what we define as feminine enables the further subjugation of women, or makes it easier to accept their subjugation?
I mean isn’t a woman who likes Casanova kind of like a black man who likes fried chicken and watermelon? She kind of reinforces all those negative stereotypes about women.”
I love the reviews on the site, and it saddens me terribly that they’ve just taken on this loon.
Amazing how once sex was off the table we all start talking about food. Who said humans aren’t animals?
In that vein, reading the Twisty archives until the wee hours last night stoked in me a hunger for comida mexicana. I went taco hunting after work today and I’m sure my haul would have made Twisty’s spinster aunt heart proud.
I blame the patriarchy for menopause. And bad spelling. There, I said it.
My cat has three legs. She totally blames the patriarchy.
It’s apparently common here in southern California for parents to offer to “reward” their teenaged daughters for good grades through High School with a boob job as a graduation present. That’s high school graduation.
Southern California the Patriarchy.
Since this is a free-for-all thread, I would like to announce my intention to quit my job at Wal-Mart on July 4, 2006 after 13 years of servitude. I invite anyone else working for corporate America to join me.
Think of it as that day when you don’t buy gas, or that day when you don’t use your ATM card, but actually important. You have four months to prepare. Then quit. All of us. July 4.
I stood in line for ten minutes, waiting to apply for my son’s passport. They wouldn’t accept the photos we had taken at the UPS (unqualified Photography Students) Store because they were too dark, so we had to go back and have them retaken. The UPS Store blamed my kid, saying his fro cast a shadow on his face. Finally got decent pics, got back in line at the clerk’s office, and paid an extra $60 for expedited service, meaning we should have his passport in 6 weeks, ten days before he leaves for Mexico.
I blame the Patriot Act.
Wait. What?
Oh.
Okay I blame the Patriarchal Idiots who wrote the Patriot Act.
I blame the patriarchy for anti-porn feminists.
Why?
Because they don’t have a problem forming alliances with musty old godbags who hate women and want pornography banned for entirely different reasons (namely, their fear and loathing of the female body and anything that even remotely smacks of agency therewith). Worse, they don’t give a good goddamn about the actual women involved in pornography and sex work — they’ll pay lip service to “economic coercion,” but they don’t get that banning porn and sex work would put a lot of economically-disadvantaged women out of work, or drive them underground where they can get arrested (the pornmakers and pimps, meanwhile, staying safely behind the scenes and collecting all the money). And after they talk about how these poor women are coerced, they turn around and blame them for betraying their gender and participating in sexual assault against white, liberal, middle-class feminists who’ve never been that desperate for survival.
Yes, I wish that women didn’t have to sell their bodies to get by. Until someone presents a viable employment alternative, they’re going to keep on selling, because it pays. Support education and job-preparation programs if you want to get women off the streets and out of the studios.
Sybil,
Your anti- anti-porn feminist post suggests a connection between porn acting and waitressing, since both professions are havens for women with few job opportunities, but I confess I’m not smart enough to join the two.
I mean hell, obviously, since I’m not smart enough to spell Sibyl correctly. My apologies.
Best news all day: No more Lawrence Summers!
Have a great day off.
If anyone’s into patriarchy-blaming in the cinematic establishment, there’s Alex Jackson from Film Freak Central that needs a good defenestration. Excerpt from the blog comments:
“…masculity is the inherently superior perspective because I am a man. Zacharek’s lack of masculinity significantly reduces her utility as a critic for me.
…
Consider these two perenial questions: what is a woman? What is a man? Do those words have any defined meaning, or should they more or less be retired from the lexicon entirely. Or strictly replaced with the terms “male” and “female” which are to only refer to the mechanics of sexual reproduction?
I’m kind of going to the extreme in divorcing gender entirely from biology actually. Zacharek is a woman and I am fully expecting her to act like a man if she is to have any use to me.
One of the unsurmountable primary problems that I have about feminism is what the official line on femininity is. Does feminity need to be destroyed and do woman need to assume a masculine identity? How much of what we define as feminine enables the further subjugation of women, or makes it easier to accept their subjugation?
I mean isn’t a woman who likes Casanova kind of like a black man who likes fried chicken and watermelon? She kind of reinforces all those negative stereotypes about women.”
I love the reviews on the site, and it saddens me terribly that they’ve just taken on this loon.
I had a good phone conversation with my mom and my best friend today. It had been a while. It was just what I needed. ‘Cause earlier today I had had to chair a meeting earlier and I was nervous. I screwed up somewhat and it made me wonder about if I could handle the job. ‘Course I blame the patrimalarkey.
I do have a bunny, but it’s a male bunny and therefore presumably part of the bunny patriarchy. It’s a shame, because he’s awfully cute. I am going to get him neutered, though, so maybe that will help. When I was pregnant, my ob/gyn suggested that if we weren’t planning on having any more kids, I should get my tubes tied (I believe his words were “as long as we’re in there”)and I laughed in his face. I told him I’d done enough already and my husband could get HIS tubes tied.
My work, which is of course a thing of the utmost possible importance for national security and economic strength, allows me some time here and there to dot the hours with a bit of light reading. I’ve been whiling away the minutes with the short stories of Chekov, especially of the 1888-1895 vintage - but slowly, carefully, because in these late and depraved times each story is very rich. The good ones are incomparably rich indeed and must be shoved out of mind with a vengeance if I mean to finish anything at all for the rest of the day.
A Woman’s Kingdom has many traditional readings, but I have my own one of secret feminist delight: here is a woman patriarchally irreproachable in every way - beautiful, sensitive, virtuous, intelligent, loving, rich, yet artlessly modest and sensible and quite humanly afraid of freedom - and though she longs to commit herself to the mastery of a husband, she has no equals in her town! Every match available to her would involve the waste of some glorious attribute or another. The deepest and most foolish waste of all is that nobody cries for her, all the while they are trading on her charity and enjoying her sympathies, and because she is a woman she never even thinks to seize her factory and lawyer and servants in hand and command them as a man would. A story about the tragedy and paradox of being an excellent woman.
But it’s this one, for which I prefer the more piquant title “A Boring Story”, that makes me quail and shake the most. Because I think this is a story about a Sunya that might have been, and also about a Sunya that could still be; loving, as I do, logic and politics a little too well, although they’ve never done jack for me, isn’t it true that I could become in my arrogance that inward-gazing and crumbling and isolated? The man in the story - couldn’t that happen to anyone who runs out of the fire and vigor of youth? I’m a difficult person, but I have flattered myself for a long time to think that (naturally) my genius and generosity make my violent, willful, and mercurial nature somehow delightful… after reading this story I wonder if I haven’t been too concerned with imposing my radiance on people and too little concerned with simple conversation and fellow feeling. I do agree with Chekov that few things are more penetratingly sad as lack of intimacy and understanding, but I also feel that if everyone in that story were just a little bit stronger, a little more willful, a little more - more - whatever it is that I am that will magically keep me from turning into them… (I do have such a quality, do I not?)
Was that fear and apprehension the author’s intention or not? Either way, I have been reading Chekov at work, and I should be more careful with him.
As a woman, I sometimes feel guilty for disliking most of the women I meet. I find a lot of them to be competitive, jealous, and even malicious. Why are so many women so mean? I once worked with a woman who proceeded to make a coworker’s life a living hell after her husband flirted with the coworker at a company gathering. What’s with those jealous beyatches? I guess I should blame the patriarchy.
I love tater tots. There use to be a Tater Hut fast food joint in my town. We would go there every other day after school for some yummy tots. Sadly it was converted into a Wolf Camera! How I miss the Tater Hut.
I have discovered I have a strange fascination with Curling! I can not explain it.
I like tater tots, but I hate beauty. I can’t really articulate it, though. It’s like either you’re hot, or you’re totally worthless, and a terrible person. It’s the impression I get from stuff like the SI swimsuit issue- sure, these ladies have nothing to do with sports… BUT THEY ARE HOT, and that’s all that matters. It drives me nuts, and I don’t know why. It might relate to the patriarchy though.
Adrienne, I was going to mention Curling, too. I’m hooked! I’m just into enjoying it now and not, for once, trying to explain it. I much prefer the women’s matches (or whatever they’re called) to the men’s though.
Is anybody in Vancouver, BC? If so, could you bring me some soup from Legendary Noodle? Best soup ever from the Best Named Restaurant From Which I Would Steal My Band Name If I Had a Band.
hissy cat and sparkledark-
i had 2 rabbits, named shulamith firestone and brownmiller.
great pets, with no real agendas. now i have 2 cats, gonzo and carmen–they not only have agendas, they have rule books.
My then-roommate and I once came across a five-pound bag of (frozen) Tater Tots at the local supermarket. Naturally we had to buy it, for kitsch value alone. Perhaps this is why I find Weird Al so compelling sometimes.
Shannon, beauty is huge and everywhere and not confined to the SI swimsuit issue. Do not let the patriarchy define it for you.
Best Named Restaurant From Which I Would Steal My Band Name If I Had a Band.
Teriyaki and Donuts
16th St., San Francisco
You know what I like about Twisty, her blog, and y’all regular posters? No one tries to tell me that the haunted house of patriarchy is “only a movie,” but this blog is also one of the only stairs that doesn’t creak. I’m grateful for both of those things.
Thanks, to all.
Hmmm… all of a sudden I find myself wondering how mu shu kitten would taste.
Oh good, I can put off the advanced degree another nine years. I wish I could put my eggs on hold for nine years instead and get the degree now and have a baby later, but I suspect my mind will be much better at 40 than the eggs, so it’s baby now, degree later. I’m sure the patriarchy is somehow at fault.
There are absolutely no Indian restaurants in this town. Seriously, there’s no Mexican food, either, but I can deal with that because I am a righteous taco/burrito/fajita/salsa maker, but many of my curries leave something to be desired, and there is no place I can go to fulfill my deepest craving for a killer vegetarian curry, unless I want to drive several hundred miles to the next decent sized city. I blame the god damn patriarchy.
(With apologies to all)
Hey, Summer!
I’ve lurked on your blog off & on. I get a feeling that the nosy neighbors in pop. 600 have meant that it’s been torn down.
Damn.
I blame the small-town patriarchy.
I blame the patriarchy for mustard-totin’ french fries, but aioli’s a little brokeback for most.
Kate: You’re from Perth? Well, it’s good to have another patriarchy-blamer from Dullsville! (there seems to be a shortage of us in this backwater state…er, I mean, in this wonderfully cosmopolitan Australian city, bustling with progressivism and opportunities…heh.)
LMYC: You know, I never considered that angle. I went for the “What We Call Beauty Is A Crappy Media Construct” angle. But you’re right: Men don’t seem to be making themselves pretty for OUR aesthetic enjoyment at ANY age, do they? I’ll make sure I mention that next time.
P.S. As a fellow wog, I agree with you re. Italian women. We are not to be fucked with. Hell hath no fury than a Sicilian woman scorned!
Obviously I’m going to have to lay claim that leftover General Tso’s.
Tater tots must be crispy, with fried chicken seasoning sprinkled on before cooking. That is the final word.
There just aren’t enough “blame” buttons on the internet. Damn patriarchy.
i’ve had an odd yearning for comfort food — baked mac & cheese, mashed potatos, pot roast, and/or soup — want it fresh, and want it now, and i don’t want to cook.
also — my daughter likes to go to the animal shelter, just to visit the dogs and cats. we can’t adopt any more, but it is lovely to visit. we foster kittens sometimes, and maybe we’ll get a new bunch soon.
I spent the first 29 years of my life embracing my masculinity. Now I am embracing and appreciating my femininity. In steel toes. With degrees in engineering. And while I’m knitting. Once I get a good grip on this femininity thing, I’m going to reach out and grab my masculinity, pull it close, and have a great big group hug!
Tater tots must be crispy, with fried chicken seasoning sprinkled on before cooking.
Tater Tot Tartare!
is anyone still up??? i’m halfway across the world you see. and listening to The Shins’ “New Slang”.
i’m going to see Stevie Nicks live in concert in just eleven days. if you want a good example of a woman whatever she damn well wants and making a fantastic job of it, you can’t go past Stevie.
dammit i just lost my post. sad face.
anyway, I bet I’m the only one up, as it’s only just past 8pm here now.
some exciting news: i’m going to see Stevie Nicks live in concert in eleven days. Stevie is a damn fine example of a woman doing exactly what she pleases and doing a great job of it too.
I didn’t finish my bachelor’s degree until I was 31. Does that mean I have to push my midlife crisis advanced degree forward to my crone years? It’s just as well, because I’ll be paying off the flipping student loan until well into menopause, at this rate. I blame myself for that one.
It seems to me that education (that which broadens one’s horizons and provides a good overview of life, history, and what we think we know so far) is rapidly being replaced by training (that which provides job-specific skills, but makes little or no contribution to one’s character or ability to think independently). I concede that both are important, but the latter without the former makes Jack a dull boy. I blame the patriarchy.
Seymour Phineas Puffinstuff! I can’t stop giggling, dammit.
ae - I intend to leave the Last Frontier & plant myself in Vancouver, BC before this year is out, so I have tagged Legendary Noodle. Feel free to throw out some more recommendations. My all-time favorite Vancouver comfort food is the sesame fries with miso gravy at the Naam. Also I really, really love being able to get samosas, spanokopita or viet namese fresh rolls at most any street corner in Kitsilano. Americans are much too hung up on the idea that snack foods must be super-sweet or super-salty & we mostly fail to take advantage of our tremendous diversity when it comes to snacking, but Canada gets it.
Antelope,
I live in Kitsilano, I know what you mean.
In fact, now that you mention it, I’m craving Naam fries and miso gravy.
Also, 99 cent pizza. Mmmm…
Chris Clarke–
Teriyaki & Donuts is just a few blocks from my home. Yeah, it’s an awesome name. It’s also real close to kittens. Lots and lots of kittens. Maybe even bunnies, too. The SF-SPCA is a few blocks away.
kathy a.–
Your daughter is so awesome. The SPCA here, anyway, is like this amazing kitty-cat happyland zoo. The cats all have their own rooms with little cat-sized sofas and fish tanks and official petters and art on the walls and cat trees and televisions with videos of squirrels. Before I was able to have a cat in my own apartment due to my studentitude or whatever, I used to stop in and look at the cats when I was taking de-stressing walks. That just happened to always lead from my front door directly to kittens.
Thanks, Rachel, for the link to Film Freak Central. I love Walter Chaw’s reviews but I can’t find the offensive & masculine poster you were referring to. That’s fine though. I just read Memoirs of a Geisha (I held off for years because I HATE that whole ‘aren’t Geisha exotic?’ thing), but my neighbor raved about it and I thought that I should give it a fair chance, after hating it for so long without having read it. It was as bad as I feared, maybe even worse, and now I can hate it in an informed way. So reading Chaw’s review of this idiotic, deeply sexist and offensive tale was so satisfying to me. Every other review I read just ignores the central problem of casting a girl living in sexual slavery as a heroine. Even women who descibe themselves as feminists seem to just glaze over that part of it. Why is that? Wait, I know! I blame the patriarchy!
I had General Tso’s Chicken last night.
I have kitties. PRRRRRRR.
LMYC, as I careen into my forties I, too, am back to college for the second degree. Calculus test tomorrow!
And as for those paunchy, wrinkly, aging men passing judgment on women’s appearances while doing nothing to improve their own? It even drives my metrosexual ex crazy! What is UP with these assholes? LMYC, you have inspired me: The next time some out-of-shape, middle-aged gasbag casts aspersions on a woman’s appearance I’m jumping his ass like a deranged harpy.
I have nothing to add about tater tots, unfortunately. I do wish I could have some pan-fried catfish with homemade tartar sauce. Or even better, a softshell crab with tartar on a hamburger bun.
Regarding the Italian court fiasco, about which I didn’t comment the other day: I was out with some of my Italian friends last night who are so pissed that they want to form a “Born Again Virgins” organization and go protest in Italy.
They also reminded me that just a few years ago, the same district court passed a ruling saying that if a woman is wearing tight jeans, she cannot be raped because it takes her participation to remove the jeans. Fortunately, female parliamentary members on both the left and right protested the following day by wearing jeans to parliament (going against house rules for dress).
Good Morning!
The best Tater Tots are the the ones with onions built in from the factory. They make the house smell very nice whilst baking. (Yes I am Murkin but I love the word “whilst.” In my defense I never say it out loud.)
“Spud Puppies” sounds like a band name, not a food. Fave band real names: “Dumpster Juice” and “Flamable Jammies.” “Kruddler” gets honorable mention. I would name a pet Kruddler.
Corner Bunny Stops and Kitten Therapy are definitely something I would pay for. Tho’ sitting in the sun on some green grass being stompled by a passle of pups is pretty good too.
I’m healing from the latest wound my cranky African grey inflicted on me this morning. He’s my avian overlord.
I’m also dealing with the fact that I’m actually rather happy that my fiance’s rageaholic mother is boycotting our wedding. Actually, I’m finding it quite easy to deal with the boycott; the fiance still has trouble dealing with the reality that his mom is a rather lousy person. I actually blame the patriarchy for this, and the whole deification of motherhood thing. Women still have every bit of flawed humanity they possessed before giving birth, after all. They are not redeemed by motherhood, and it doesn’t help the children of emotionally screwed up moms to pretend that otherwise.
I’ve never really enjoyed tater tots. The ones in grade school always seemed to be undercooked. Ick!
Have you seen this?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/gender/story/0,,1711137,00.html
It’s a massive story about something with potentially devastating, potentially revolutionary consequences, and as usual you won’t hear a peep about it in most British newspapers. Briefly: union hushes up equal pay win out of fear of “destroying the public sector”.
In other news, what the hell are Tater Tots?
Mm, tater tots.
However, I am craving fritos.
I am in Germany.
There are no fritos in Germany.
I suppose it’s nice that there are a few Murkin consumer products that aren’t yet available absolutely everywhere on the face of the earth.
I am jealous of the Stevie Nicks fans. My absolutely favorite band EVER (the Ur-British folk rock group Steeleye Span, first formed in 1969) are touring starting May 3. With their original vocalist, the unbelievably cool Maddy Prior.
The day AFTER I fly back to Germany from Britain.
When they toured the US, I found out about the concert in my state the day AFTER it happened.
ARGH.
Unfortunately, I can’t think of any way to connect this misfortune to the Patriarchy.
Having been raised by a Chesapeake Bay-centric family, my palate has been carefully honed to adore Old Bay seasoning. But since marrying a soul crippled by shellfish allergies, I have been forced to abstain from shellfish to avoid triggering a reaction. For some reason, I don’t blame the patriarchy for that.
The idea of Tater Tots is better than the actuality of them, I’ve found. Probably because I don’t take the time to deep-fry them as they should be, and opt to bake them, they never seem to be as good as I remember from childhood.
My two favorite band names are Jif And The Choosy Mothers, and Smack The Mime. I think the guys who came up with the name The Magical Attraction Of Booty were trying way too hard. If only there was someone, or something, to blame for that.
Oh look! There’s a button to push!
Thalia, the whole point of the partiarchy is to define beauty. By beauty, I mean that unerring standard with so little wiggle room- you must be tall, , white(or at least not too ‘ethnic’), thin(and no, having hips and thighs and a thin torso doesn’t *count*), have straight hair(maybe curly but not too much, certainly never nappy!), wear makeup every day, wear impractical clothes and shoes, have a thin nose, not be too dark, not have hair except for on your head(oh, and your head hair has to be long too!) and the whole shebang.
I hate that *standard* because it’s got a lot of rules and takes up a lot of time, and many of the provisions are impossible for me to reach, and yet I’m still evaluated by this crazy standard for no good reason.
Just like:
“the patriarchy” DOES NOT EQUAL “men”
so
“porn” DOES NOT EQUAL “women who act in porn”
Therefore it is possible to be feminist, opposed to porn, and yet in sympathy and support with women who work in the sex industries.
I can blame the patriarchy without blaming every single man.
I can condemn porn without condemning porn workers.
Get it?
I think I may have to euthanize a dear old cat which has been hanging around our neighborhood for many many years, and i do BTP for it.
He’s beautiful in his way and I’ll miss him. I don’t hate beauty but hate the the cruel and strict definition of beauty which the Patriarchy uses to shackle women and girls from the moment they are born.
All three of our kittens got spayed yesterday — the two girls were absolutely miserable while Remy decided things weren’t so bad and alternated between chasing his tail and looking for his lost “cotton balls.”
In sadder news, the infamous Mack-a-Doodle was supposed to get the snip with the kittens, but it looks like he has gone on permanent walk-about or perhaps just the fast track to Kitty Heaven. We’ve now lost three animals in less than six months (2 cats, 1 dog). Sigh. Of course we still have nine others…
Cara-
Sorry! You can find the insanity here. It’s a bit of a ways down. He begins with a comment about how he hates this critic, basically, for being a “girl”. Some of the more evolutionary-favored posters call him on his shit, and his attempts at defending himself just lower further into his shit. Of course, for someone whose idea of art consists of cutting off fingers, it’s clearly where he prefers to be.
I desperately wish I had the time to give him a good shellacking (to regress a bit into masculinist rhetoric) BUT this is the week I have three papers due. Just because I don’t have the time, however, doesn’t mean I don’t end up wasting it anyway silently fuming.
I mean, I could understand why W.C. would want more reviewers for the site, it must get exhausting. Especially if a dude’s got any knack for it. Surely though, there are competent, funny writers who aren’t also extraordinary douchetrucks?
grace - did you say “steeleye span” and “tour” in the same sentence with “Maddy Prior”? are they coming to the US?
(insert batshit-crazy beatlemania-like swoon/pass out/wet my pants here)
oh, and BDSM killed my marriage. but I think it was a case of euthanasia.
What are your opinions on women that like to stay at home and take care of children, but think that all women should be able to make whatever choice they want in their life? I fall into this category and I consider myself a feminist, but would others on here?
I don’t think that there should be any laws that limit what women want to do with their lives (besides laws against committing crimes of course) whether they would restrict a woman to the home or the work place. I am very happy doing traditional womanly things such as caring for my kids, cooking, sewing, knitting, and even cleaning (somewhat). I think that sometimes some feminists stereotype women as much as the patriarchy. Not all women (or even feminists) want high powered careers in law or politics. Every person is an individual and more suited to some things than others. I plan to work some when all of my children are in school full-time, but it will be on my terms. I either want to be an illustrator or go back to cake decorating like I did before I had children.
I’m not saying that the women on this blog feel this way, in fact I wanted to know what you all thought about this topic. Is someone that wants to lives a traditional wifely roll, but wants all women to have the power and the choices to make whatever decisions they want, a feminist?
Courtney Brady
I moved from a hippy town to a yuppie suburb and am constantly amazed at the wide range of food delivery available. None of it tastes good though. Is it possible for food to taste homogenous?
Then again, tater tots - mmmmmmmmm
Wow, what a great thread.
Isn’t it Maddy Prior who does the great backup signing on “Gimme Shelter”?
When I get home tonight I think I will feed our two kitties (Wanda and Wampus) some Tater Tots.
I Love Typing! I meant “singing” not “signing.”
Open thread, hey? Well, I’m gonna vent.
I went into a clinic yesterday, and the doctor refused to give me a pap. He had better things to do. He thinks vagina’s are icky, and not his problem.
I definately blame the patriarchy.
extraordinary douchetrucks
Best.
Band name thread.
Ever.
Courtney, no patriarchy-blamer worth her chops thinks less of a woman who chooses her traditional lifestyle; rather, we are more inclined to Blame The Patriarchy for their (cough) “choice.” Because it’s a false choice. Members of the Sex Class don’t get REAL choices. We just get make our dealios with the patriarchy and cope.
Confession time here: I’m a homebody. I get a cheap thrill from washing my floors. If I didn’t have to get up at 6am every weekday to commute an hour to work, I’d putter around my house all day, cleaning and redecorating and listening to National Public Radio. But I recently decided I’m not willing to pay the PRICE (marriage) for it.
Courtney, I hope to Goddess you are a trust fund baby, because if you rely on a man to take care of you, blindly trusting that abandonment in middle or old age will “never happen” to you . . . . . .
Grace, wait a minute - no Fritos in Germany??
Aren’t there laws against that sort of thing?? Want me to mail you some??
The humanity.
I caught my cat watching ‘Judge Judy’ last night. He did have the grace to look embarrassed.
I though a Murkin was a pubic wig… oh no wait, that’s Merkin.
I like Cadbury’s Creme Eggs. Mmmmmm….
courtney — stay at home moms can be feminists. i think the key is that women be able to exercise their own choices, and respect the need of other women to make different choices.
robin — so sorry about your elderly feline friend.
had lunch last thursday at dog & duck pub and *completely* didn’t order the fish & chips. so how dumb was that? I ordered a goddam burger!
stoopid, stoopid, stoopid!
…
Hi weeza!
Murkin, see also Murrikin: The way certain faux-Texans in high office pronounce their nationality.
Perhaps one day all those crotch-waxers will need merkins when the Partiarchy’s dictates as to what is appealing in the male gaze swings back in the other direction.
When I was a highschool teacher, kids in my class would try to sneak eating Fritos. The horrendous smell always gave them away. Yet they never quit trying to eat them on the sly. Such is the power of Fritos.
I love corn in all its forms, EXCEPT for Fritos. Nasssssty.
Paris: what is a “box scheme”? Is it like a vegetable or grocery co-op thing that’s supposed to deliver wholesome seasonal organic stuff? (But then they don’t, what with the tomato problem?)
Wheelomatic: Jello mold salad *does* require the Miracle Whip, but cannot be considered haute unless the ingredients also include chopped celery and Blue Diamond walnut pieces. Also? For the first 15 years of my life, I thought Miracle Whip was mayonnaise. I mean, my family would say, “Where’s the mayonnaise?” or “Pass the mayonnaise”, but it would be Miracle Whip. When I finally tasted mayonnaise, my taste buds were shocked and, frankly, outraged. (I got over it.)
Alyx, CafeSiren, et al.: Rite-of-passage boob jobs for teens is disturbing. But I have to say, many many years ago, when I was just a pup, the summer between junior and senior year in high school always seemed to bring an epidemic of deviated septums (septii?). Come September, all them septums was miraculously un-deviated, and even more miraculously, the noses that housed them were shorter, straighter, and perkier. But at least back then, everyone pretended to believe the deviated septum lie.
Summer: Damn. Small town, public blog outing by a mean person. I wish I had a Tinkerbelle mug to give you. All I can do is clap my hands in Tinkerbelle support of you over the next days. Maybe the kitties that flunk out of Sam’s therapeutic kitten club can be re-trained as agents of the Vicious Patriarchy-Blamin’ Attack Kitty Brigade. Then we can deploy them on your adversary.
John M. Burt: I totally thought of mu shu kitten, too, only I decided it would be too gross to post about it. And now I’m evil, too.
It’s not as delightful a name as Teriyaki & Donuts, but Avatar’s Punjab Burritos is pretty cool. (15 Madrona St, Mill Valley, CA 94941)
Hi Twisty. Go tackle Bertie and rub his tummy for me. Please.
The following was a response to a comment I wrote on www.visitunderthetree.com discussion group about resolution of religious conflict. I was, of course blaming the patriarchy for most of it. The guy who runs the website has always been intelligent and fair minded, or so i thought, but this response leaves me perplexed. Any thoughts on it?
“In a couple cases, the moderator or decision-maker was a woman. The research shows women have less tolerance for conflict, as they are relationship-oriented and conflict threatens relationships.
On the other hand, guys are more issue-oriented and tolerate conflict more easily. Not to mention growing up playing sports in which “trash talking” is the norm. (A friendly game involves lots of trash talking; a serious game is too quiet.)
The issue of power balance is always present in this universe; power is not necessarily bad, coercive power, however, is desructive to relationships and sometimes entire civilizations.”
I’m a feminist with a high-profile (though not high-paying, since it’s for a community non-profit) job. I think that not only should women (and men) have the choice to stay home with children, but that they should receive a salary and benefits for doing so. Instead we derisively call that welfare (which once meant something good, but has become a dirty word like value or special) and talk about the lazy good-for-nothing women who receive it. We prefer to force women to ship their children off to institutionalized care that can cost more than rent, and then talk about how awful it is that the children are being raised by strangers. We also complain that if people can’t afford children, they shouldn’t have them, as if: birth control were failsafe, abortion were available to any woman who wanted one, and only certain people are worthy of being parents. Punish those dirty sluts for the crime of having sex while being poor. Don’t you know it’s their own damn fault? If they’d just work harder, they wouldn’t be poor. Pay no attention to the lack of educational opportunities and living-wage jobs, or the taxation that gets more regressive every year! The patriarchy did a great job with its woman-hating catch-22 on this one.
I Love Typing! I meant “singing†not “signing.â€
I have a bumper sticker on my car that says “Caution: Driver Singing” and so far three people this week have asked me where I learned ASL.
Which of course reminds me of this hilarious ad.
I blame the patriarchy for anti-anti-porn feminists who believe that all critics of pornography and prostitution are white, liberal, middle-class and have never themselves been forced into sex work.
I also blame the patriarchy for my lack of groceries.
restaurant/band name
Taxidermy & Cheese
River Falls, WI
Tater Tot Lovers:
Search the internet for “tater tot casserole.” Make it for dinner–you’ll not only feed your obsession, you’ll also be having a cultural experience.
Save the tuna fish casserole for your cats though.
I blame the patriarchy for raising teeny tiny little girls to think of nothing but the value of their loveliness. I blame it for the grown women in my neighborhood who bag rich dudes they can cheat on with younger men to feel prettier and spend all day at yoga classes to feel prettier and read magazines about how to feel prettier and buy clothes and makeup and spa treatments to feel prettier — and yet they all seem completely miserable, scowly, and thereby not very pretty at all. I blame the patriarchy for making women care more about pretty than they care about happy.
I blame the patriarchy for my loathing of these women, for whom I should feel sorry or about whom I should care. But sometimes I feel like if these educated, wealthy, politically liberal women who have had every opportunity to turn against the patriarchy can’t do it, then what hope is there? I blame the patriarchy for my despair.
best restaurant/band name in my town:
Tokyo Shapiro. It’s a Chinese restaurant, which is kind of strange.
Some of the 9-year-olds to whom I teach English as a foreign language laugh or complain when my choices of photos of people they have to describe are not thin, white, and stereotypically beautiful. Especially if they’re women, but they’re also demanding with men and children.
Of this I blame the patriarchy.
Funniest restaurant name ever: Big Wang (NYC)
Courtney, in answer to your question: I think that staying home either because the job can be done without leaving the house (artists?), because a woman wants to take care of her children, or because the family can afford to have one less working member, is perfectly fine. But I think it is environmentally irresponsible to have more than one kid maybe two; that we need to start planning our retirements as early as possible; and that I wouldn’t trust a partner man or woman, to be there to support me financially indefinitely.
Everything you said, Emjay!
Even though I have the privilege of living in Hawaii, I’m getting Vancouver nostalgia reading about all that great ethnic food. We go to the Vancouver Folk Festival every year with our kids and grandkid and other various and sundry relatives. It’s our combo whoop-up and family reunion. Do you still have the Kitsalano Showboat? Years ago we went there and saw a ten year old do an impression of Ethel Merman that took the cake.
Sunya: I too retreat to the Chekov short stories when life gets to be more than I can bear. It’s my kind of sentimentality. 19th Century fiction is my bulwark against the madness.
I expect I’m the oldest poster here, age 66. I relive a lot of my moments, the good and the bad, with you other patriarchy blamers.
I’m glad that I still have the strength to blame!
If I look after other people’s children and get paid money for it, I’m a nanny, teacher or daycare worker, and therefore a self-actualized feminist. If I do it for my own flesh and blood, I’m a victim of the patriarchy. Wha?
Carol, false dichotomy alert! (unless you were being facetious?) The underpaid daycare workers are also victims of the patriarchy (and stay-at-home moms can be, and very many are, self-actualized feminists).
There just aren’t enough “blame†buttons on the internet.
One for my ever-expanding quote wall.
One of the best things about this blog are the post-ers!
In my crazy and youthful days, I would enjoy an occasional, somewhat underdone, Tater Tot. Now the thought of it curdles my stomach.
I have 2 dogs. I think more people should be able to have pets, or free pet therapy. It seriously helps with lowering blood pressure (well, except when a pet has eaten a favorite pair of shoes or slippers), and so forth. I came out a long, stressful time thankful that I had my dog.
The merkin/Murkin thing has me laughing.
I’ve been to WA, I really enjoyed Perth (and Freo), I’d go back and hang out if I had the time/money.
I have eaten like a very hungry person again today - I think my cold/fever/whatever is driving my thirst and hunger for the last 3 days. Today: Clif Bar, water, more water, sweetened blueberry tea, huge bean and cheese burrito (like, a pound or something), a slice of cake (work celebration), and frozen yoghurt topped with hot fudge.
My teeth feel funny now.
Liz, I saw an ad, maybe a year or so ago, that had a young man shopping in a grocery store with a small child in the “seat” of the cart. The small child wanted some candy which the young man (impliedly his father) denied him. The child proceeded to have a full on temper tantrum that included climbing out of the cart and kicking and screaming on the floor. Naturally all the other shoppers were looking at the “father” censoriously for the behavior of his “child.” The end caption to the ad was: One of the best reasons to use our product.” and the ad was signed by Trojan (major condom manufacturer in the U.S., I don’t know about elsewhere). I found it interesting that (a) it was the father in the ad, and (b) I think they thought it was more humorous because it was the father. Anyway, it was also pretty funny. I blame the patriarchy that we don’t see more of these types of ads with “fathers” in the roles typically depicted as being assigned to “mothers” and get to laugh our asses off.
Men don’t seem to be making themselves pretty for
OUR aesthetic enjoyment at ANY age, do they?
I’ve noticed that when a man dresses in a manner that women find sexy, he’s inevitably called “queer.”
When a man dresses and behaves in a way that MEN find cool (and sexy, although they’d sooner die than use that worD), when he’s a “man’s man,” then he’s obviously so hetero that ovaries pop everytime he walks into the room.
The plumb line ain’t yet been spun can reach the bottom of THOSE depths of irony.
Women love boybands, men love Sylvester Stallone. And yet which one’s considered the height of heterosexuality?
Carol in response to your comment, the point is if you take care of someone else’s children, you get paid. I think this just supports Emjay’s point, namely that if you were paid to take care of your children (either through welfare or otherwise, but NOT by having your spouse, significant other, etc. support you) then the score evens out. The point is, until a woman gets paid to take care of her own kids, she is a victim of the patriarchy.
Courtney, I’ve noticed that many women who stay home generally mistranslate things as follows:
Feminist: “You’re taking a tremendous risk by staying home and raising your kids. You’re out of the job market, and what if your husband dies or leaves you? It happens. And not rarely. You’ll be screwed. Besides, historically, women who stay home for 30 years and keep house tend to get bored out of their minds and depressed. We’ve learned this lesson already — please realize this before you reach the age of 45 and wonder what the hell happened to your life.”
SAHM: “OH MY GOD YOU HATE HOUSEWIVES!!!!!!”
I’ve gotten tired of saying anything. You wanna stay home? Knock yourself out. But if you get a divorce and find out that you rolled snake-eyes after betting your entire future on something that has a 43% chance of falling through, I don’t want to hear about it.
Twisty, maybe you should not post every day - look how many freaking comments you have! Clearly, people want only to talk about their own shit!
Actually, today is kind of like a discussion board, isn’t it?