In a world of stiletto racing, mass rapes, abortion banning, Miss America, sex slavery, honor killings, “sexy” Olympic ice skaters, antenna strippers et al, the difficulty faced by the spinster aunt, who works without the benefit of the editorial staff she so richly deserves, is sometimes one of prioritization. For instance, where on the blame-o-meter does one put the case of the small-time Utah judge who got the boot for having three wives?
On the one hand, the spinster aunt takes a dim view of government interference in private domestic arrangements.
But on the other hand, this godbag muthafucka judge Steed is claiming, on the basis of “religious freedom,” the right to a fucking harem. Of three sisters. While serving in an official government capacity.
To which I say, big whoop. A moment’s reflection reveals that it’s actually standard procedure for government officials to be vile, law-breaking sexist pigs who should all be in prison. The only reason they took out this Steed guy is that he deviates somewhat sensationally in one or three minor details from the usual Christian-approved doctrine of piggery. The Christian-approved doctrine of piggery states that a guy can oppress all the women he wants, but can only marry them one at a time (which noble doctrine is democratically motivated; it prevents the richer, more charismatic dudes from hoarding all the pussy). So in the end, for purposes of patriarchy-blaming, Judge Steed is just another excuse to complain about plural marriage. Not that I need one.
These days it’s very trendy to use religion and/or pursuit of orgasm as a justification for whatever kind of patriarchal horror—from whipping your loving leather-clad wife to bombing Baghdad—gives you the biggest yippie. Old Steed here has apparently been using both.
The religion used by the priapic judge to justify his icky fetish for sister-booty is based on the delusions of Joseph Smith, a nutjob with 33 wives who claimed God contacted him through a talking hat.
Now, it’s no secret that God is a chatty motherfucker. He’s always yakking at pious priests and mullahs about ways in which they might more efficiently oppress the downtrodden; the pious priests and mullahs then translate the mumbojumbo into the local dialect for the unwashed masses in whatever way best preserves their own personal power. But in the Church of Latter Day Saints the Holy Dude is a veritable motormouthical windbag. He simply cannot put a sock in it. Misogynist edicts gush forth like blood from a sacrificed virgin. “Polygamy,” quoth God, “is a divine principle leading to the highest degree of glory. I command women to accept polygamy under threat of damnation and destruction!” Any old Mormon fella can hear these talking points straight from the Horse’s mouth; all he has to do is have a “vision.”
So did God tell Judge Steed to enslave three sisters and rape them until they had 36 kids? That’s one explanation.
Another is that he’s a fucking delusional asshole.
Polygamy—or, more precisely, polygyny, since it’s against even fake religious law for a lowly female to collect her own harem—is nasty. This isn’t because there’s anything inherently immoral about having more than one sex partner. It’s not even because we’ve been socialized to experience a visceral creepy-crawlie at the thought of 36 kids whose father is also their uncle. Polygamy is nasty because it is the ultimate fulfillment and natural conclusion of patriarchy’s hideous premise: that women are subhuman incubator-cunts. Steed’s three sister wives must have averaged a pussy-shredding twelve kids apiece. The plural wife is among the universe’s most degraded creatures.
Polygamy is practiced in the enlightened US of A pretty exclusively by thousands of misogynist pseudo-mormon godbag psychopath cultists who wield absolute control over their women. They acquire them at swap meets, and then isolate them in secret colonies away from the public eye, rape them, force them to bear children, marry them off as teenagers to other abusers, and, one surmises, lavish upon them all the usual humiliations one expects of men who own women: mind control, shame, dependency, lack of education. Tapestry Against Polygamy, an advocacy group made up of plural marriage escapees, publishes a list of common “danger signs” associated with the practice. Among them: sex on demand, arranged marriages, the admonishment that women accept abuse as “correction from the Lord,” and spousal speeches prefaced with “The Lord has told me.”
Here’s Tapestry’s take on the whole plural marriage deal:
Today’s polygamist subculture is rife with abuse, fueled by power, control and greed. Mental, emotional and religious abuse are prevalent within Mormon polygamy. Boys are ruthlessly cast out in order to create an artificial imbalance of women to men. Girls, deprived of education, are trapped in a web of underage marriage, statutory rape, incest, child-slave labor, trafficking of minors into different countries for sex, arranged marriages, marriages to close relatives, secrecy and isolation.
This is Ultimate Patriarchy, and it couldn’t flourish without the ostensible complicity of brainwashed women. Plural wifery is often fiercely, though poorly, defended by such deluded dingbats as Utah attorney Elizabeth Joseph, one of a harem of seven, who reveals that she hasn’t the faintest idea what “feminist” means when she describes polygamy as “the ultimate feminist lifestyle.” In her jarring and insipid essay, the sum total of polygamy’s benefits are a) since [her master] has a lot of wives, he is “a very skilled husband” who has “never [had to eat] a TV dinner,” and b) she gets to have nice friendships with the other concubines.
Neither could Ultimate Patriarchy flourish without government and church turning a blind eye to the rampant abuse within this cult. Utah only banned plural marriage in the first place (in1890) as a condition of statehood, and although the Mormon church supposedly excommunicates violators, the belief that harems are next to godliness persists. One Utah extendo-family of polygamists is reportedly worth in excess of $170 million (a figure some call “laughably low”). Which can buy a lot of blind eyes.
Note that the tendency to turn blind eyes toward the abuse of women is a recurring theme in the history of human “civilization.”
Interestingly, Mormon fundamentalists believe that the US government is evil and should be destroyed. So what was this Steed guy doing in as a judge in the first place?