“I’m holding out for classes on how to sport around town with my hair on fire. I’m sure it will never be totally pain-free, but if I strengthen my core I could rock that look. ” –Redneck Mother on aerobics classes for the stilettoly-challenged
Monthly Archive: February 2006
Feb 16 2006
Komedy Korner
Cast your jaundiced eye over the pinkfaced perv pictured above. He is wealthy Oregonian Loren Parks, who hits the Ass-Bag Trifecta by being a nutbag, a rightwingbag, and a dirtbag all at the same time. Greymatters hipped me to his outrageous website, the so-called Psychological Research Foundation, Inc, wherein he purports to offer “self-therapy for …
Feb 16 2006
Australian Women Tell Godbag Where To Shove It
Quoth Kate, one of our Aussies: “If anyone cares, we here in the Antipodes have won a victory over godbag fetus lovers; our health minister now has no say at all over RU486. Control of it goes to a professional body called the TGA where it will almost certainly be given the OK.” For those …
Feb 15 2006
Undercover Sex
In Spotsylvania, Virginia — that’s right, I said “Spotsylvania;” it seems fantastic, doesn’t it? — the way you arrest a hooker is to do her. Spotsylvania’s tax dollars are hard at work buying “undercover sex” for its “unmarried police officers” (the married ones, apparently, are nominally constrained by social contract to buy sex only from …
Feb 14 2006
Human Rights Smackdown: Kidney vs Uterus
“Happy Valentine’s Day, O my beloved non-viable fetus!” Speaking of abortion — and when does a spinster aunt speak of anything else? — I have been meaning for some time to address the Organ Donor Gambit as an argument in favor of the exotic notion of extending human rights to women. A couple of recent …
Feb 14 2006
Don’t Heart This
For Valentine’s Day I refer you to The Geeky Feminist, who brings us an appalling heart-shaped photo essay on the display window of a London department store. An excerpt from the poster (pictured above) containing the store’s suggested methods of managing your woman: “If dinner is cold, eat it, not her. When she looks pretty, …
Feb 14 2006
Weekly Shoe Fetish Bulletin
In the fine tradition of sexy aerobics for today’s sexy gal on the go who realizes that sexy doesn’t come without a lot of sexy work, the makers of Cardio Striptease now bring you new Stiletto Strength, the workout that trains you how to walk sexy with painful stilts strapped to your feet. The gym’s …
Feb 14 2006
St. Louis: Gateway to Homophobia
Greetings, STL homeys. A special valentine just for you guys: ORLANDO, Fla., Feb. 9 /U.S. Newswire/ — St. Louis residents will see four new billboard signs this month that feature pictures of former homosexuals challenging popular myths about homosexuality with the words “I Questioned Homosexuality. Change is Possible. Discover How.” Exodus International, the largest network …
Feb 12 2006
Elusive Chick Bloggers Finally Found In NYC Brothel
They’re hot, they’re 27, they wear negligées, they use pink laptops, they pose for Playboy, and guess which one of them is a stripper. The Daily approached me for this article, but gave it a pass when they found out I only have one boob. Thanks, Amber. Via Gawker
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