Bert contemplates recent modifications to Hole #8
This is my puppy Bert. Bert is a golden retriever, but these days he has little time for retrieving. He is very busy with the excavations for his public art project “The Four Thousand Holes Of Barton Hills.” The project, he says, will challenge conventional notions of “back yard,” “permanent landscape edging,” and “healthy ankle ligaments” even as it brings the community together in a discourse on art, eyesores, and man’s relationship to negative space.
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31 comments
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Jodie
March 4, 2006 at 8:13 pm (UTC -6)
Awwww…Bert is so cute. At least he’s not digging under your fence. There is a strange collection of things nailed to the fence and filling the holes underneath it in my backyard in an attempt to thwart my dog Wiley.
Violet Socks
March 4, 2006 at 8:19 pm (UTC -6)
My favorite Twisty post yet.
(Until my next favorite Twisty post, of course.)
Hattie
March 4, 2006 at 10:32 pm (UTC -6)
I see that artistic talent runs in your family.
Ron Sullivan
March 4, 2006 at 11:03 pm (UTC -6)
I see a coffee-table book in Bert’s future.
Pony
March 4, 2006 at 11:47 pm (UTC -6)
Surrender. You’ve got a Golden.
I’m privileged to be an aunty to one. Bliss.
Not to mention the art education.
bridgetka
March 4, 2006 at 11:49 pm (UTC -6)
Awwwwww. He’s adorable. Fluffball!
I have a Lab, and her puppyhood artistic endeavors involved eating crayons and then shitting in a dizzying array of colors. I was always so sad to have my glorious boxes of Crayola 120s (quite the status symbol back in ’98) ruined. To add insult to injury, I’d then have to go out to the back yard and pick up dogcrap in shades of Macaroni and Cheese, Cerulean, and Purple Pizzazz.
Chris Clarke
March 5, 2006 at 12:02 am (UTC -6)
“When Dogs Pant”!
karenology
March 5, 2006 at 12:15 am (UTC -6)
Your dog is adorable! May he grow up to be a fine patriarchy-destroying hound.
Sharoni
March 5, 2006 at 12:20 am (UTC -6)
Bert looks like a sensitive dog who has just been chastised for digging holes. If you want to stop a dog from digging under the fence, you need to use chicken wire judiciously when you build the fence. Bury the chicken wire about two feet down from the fence and trim the inside of the yard with about a foot of chicken wire attached to the fence and laid along the ground on the outside. My dog just made a dirt wallow under the juniper bush in the corner, and he’s happy with that. Of course that still means he needs his nose washed of mud every once in a while. I blame the patriarchy.
Sorry about your cat, Twisty, I’m just catching up. All my good thoughts for your days, nights, weeks, etc. and hope you are dealing well with therapy.
Caja
March 5, 2006 at 12:24 am (UTC -6)
So you’re saying he’s an architect?
Kaka Mak
March 5, 2006 at 3:41 am (UTC -6)
Looking foward to his interpretive dance of this project.
Twisty
March 5, 2006 at 4:55 am (UTC -6)
I never chastize Bert for digging holes. I am pleased that he has such lofty aspirations. A couple of his holes are over a foot deep, which is really saying something, considering how hard the ground is on accounta our big drought.
jc
March 5, 2006 at 5:26 am (UTC -6)
I was once contacted by a woman who had deliberately collected and imported a large array of spanish street dogs who had collectively reduced her backyard to something resembling a particularly erosion destoyed portion of andalusia.
She seriously wanted me to suggest an alternative landscaping solution that didn`t involve the gassing of her beloved rabid canine earthmovers.
I love Analusia and dogs and firmly believe that love sometimes requires acceptance. Sometimes things will be as they are, so to speak.
I promptly lost her telephone number.
I`m no philistine,
or mercenary adherant of lost causes.
Cass
March 5, 2006 at 7:35 am (UTC -6)
What a sweetheart. My poodle prefers the medium of abstract pee stains on a harwood floor.
Liz
March 5, 2006 at 7:38 am (UTC -6)
So where is Berto’s Jeanne-Clawed?
AndiF
March 5, 2006 at 8:03 am (UTC -6)
Perhaps Bert would like to team up with my malamutt who is a budding paleontologist. Her fossil digs are much appreciated by my other dogs, not only for their scientific discoveries but also for supplying cool places to sleep on hot summer days.
suezboo
March 5, 2006 at 8:53 am (UTC -6)
Twisty, how can you classify Bert The Adorable WonderDog under Varmints ? I’, appalled.
Janeen
March 5, 2006 at 9:10 am (UTC -6)
I’m one of your few readers who isn’t instantly turned to mush at the sight of Bert, but I must say this is one of those posts that makes me totally want to make out with you. And I hate those conventional notions of things.
wordgirl
March 5, 2006 at 10:26 am (UTC -6)
It is patently clear that the artist Christo looks to Bert for his inspiration. The miles of fabric and the orange Gates in Central Park? Undeniably Bert! If Christo does ANYTHING that remotely resembles digging, I suggest you seek legal counsel.
Fran
March 5, 2006 at 11:14 am (UTC -6)
If Bert is bored ,it may be time to introduce him to tennis balls. My goldie Max, bless his soul, absolutley loved them, though he never did catch on to giving them back once he’d retrieved them.
Goldie’s rock! and Bert adorable!
schatze
March 5, 2006 at 11:24 am (UTC -6)
Bert is looking much like my female Golden. My new Golden puppy will no doubt go through the digging stage, but he will be chastized. There isn’t enough space in my yard for that. Perhaps Bert is digging a golf course?
Ms Kate
March 5, 2006 at 11:42 am (UTC -6)
Golf course! Of course! Here you thought he was putt-ering around, Twisty. Brilliant dog! The Barton Hills Links – you can even advertize how it is a “naturally landscaped” course with no extreme water needs.
Not to mention how nicely that Holga would photograph all the pasture pool shooters in their silly garish garb.
Grace
March 5, 2006 at 1:41 pm (UTC -6)
What a beautiful dog!
Dean
March 5, 2006 at 4:57 pm (UTC -6)
Bert has a contemplative look on his face, like a painter studying the canvas of a work in progress.
Kitt
March 5, 2006 at 5:25 pm (UTC -6)
Well, I’m just happy to know other people’s pets talk to them.
Kat
March 6, 2006 at 7:29 am (UTC -6)
Awwww, what a cutie. :)
Sara
March 6, 2006 at 8:42 am (UTC -6)
AWWWW! So so so cute!
Somehow it seems wrong to hit a “blame” button in this context.
littlem
March 6, 2006 at 2:42 pm (UTC -6)
““back yard,†“permanent landscape edging,â€
So feeling it. Loving the edgy.
“healthy ankle ligamentsâ€
Still arguing with the PT about proper ongoing treatment for a bucket-handle (!!!) meniscal tear.
Any room for negotiation on the project here?
Twisty
March 6, 2006 at 3:10 pm (UTC -6)
“Somehow it seems wrong to hit a “blame†button in this context.”
You can blame this wretched animal for destroying my yard without a permit, if you like. I certainly do!
Ron Sullivan
March 7, 2006 at 12:31 am (UTC -6)
I believe Bert and I share an opinion about benderboard. We’re not sure what it’s for, but it doesn’t belong in the ground.
Sara
March 7, 2006 at 2:14 pm (UTC -6)
“You can blame this wretched animal for destroying my yard without a permit, if you like.”
But Twisty (she said, ducking as quickly as her aging reflexes would allow), he can’t help it. It’s what he’s hardwired to do.
Friday pup blogging « virgotext
April 6, 2007 at 1:50 pm (UTC -6)
[...] pup blogging April 6, 2007 Posted by virgotex in Pets, Animals, Dogs. trackback While he lacks the coherent creative vision (and possible sociopathic tendencies) of TwistyFaster’s visionary Bert, my Possum is very thorough and serious about his dirt work. In particular, he is most helpful when I am out in the yard trying to photograph plants or bugs, or catalog my backyard plants. He assists by madly digging a hole as close as he can to the center of my attention. I’m fortunate to have such a dedicated assistant. [...]