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Mar 08 2006

Horrid Man Honored With New Porn Verb

Bert balances inexpertly on one leg
This photo of Bert crashing into the dirt has nothing to do with today’s post

Day One of the Registration Drive was a smash! In fact, if registrations were dollars I’d have enough for a few bottles of 1990 vintage Dom Pérignon. Although I am a little disappointed that hardly anybody wrote a little profile full of lies.

Anyway, the main thing is, since the implementation, peenis spam has vanished, so thanks, you guys, for vastly improving my quality of life. And really, isn’t that what this blog is all about?

But on to more important matters. Candy at Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels is spearheading a Bill Napoli googlebomb, a gambit we thoroughly endorse.

napoli: 1. To brutalize and rape, sodomize as bad as you can possibly make it, a young, religious virgin woman who was saving herself for marriage. 2. To hella rape somebody.

If I had those Dom Pérignons, I’d sure give one to that Candy girl.

Dom Pérignon, by the way, is the name of the 15th century monk who is often credited (erroneously) with having invented Champagne. He did, however, invent the stopper with the little wire harness.

42 comments

3 pings

  1. TP

    This blog is all about improving your quality of life! Tangentially, it also improves ours, if we pay attention and keep it light.

    Liberal angst is all too easy to fall into these days. A little touch of Twisty sarcasm and the bloom is once again fresh upon the morning rose!

  2. A White Bear

    I pity the pizza. Can’t we call it a “Bill”?

  3. Sylvanite

    Well, we’ll see if “napoli” becomes as successful as “santorum.” Speaking of whom, I can’t wait to vote against that pious Catholic jackass this year. I’m not that keen on Casey (he really is too socially conservative for me), but Santorum is the absolute pits.

  4. norbizness

    Then what did Dom DeLuise invent? That floppy hat all the fat bald guys wear?

  5. A White Bear

    I guess what irritates me about this googlebomb is that, well, santorum was about something fun that we can all share in that Rick would be disgusted by. Napoli is about something awful that none of us wants in our lives that Bill seems pretty turned on by.

  6. A White Bear

    To clarify: I know a girl who got Napolied. It was awful. She was sweet and young and idealistic, and she got tortured and beated and sodomized and raped for hours and hours. In respect for what she went through, I could never elide what happened to her by using a cute neologism. Nope, everytime someone asks, “What happened to her? She got all angry all of a sudden!” I say, “Well, she was kidnapped, tortured, beaten, sodomized, and raped for hours and hours. Of course she’s angry.”

  7. Twisty

    A fair point, White Bear, and one that had not escaped my notice. It isn’t at all fun to say “my sister got napolied” so I doubt the word will find its way into general usage. The fun in this case is turning him into a receptacle for our legitimate outrage by suggesting that he is synonymous with the torture he described so effortlessly.

  8. A White Bear

    But it doesn’t insult him, because he’s already distanced from torture. We’re the ones it bothers. If I hear someone say santorum, I know I’m among friends who think nothing much of anal sex. If I hear someone say napoli, it could, in the future, be some guy who had been looking for just the right word to apply to something he wants to do to some woman. George Bush likes to make the same jokes about his fruitless search for WMDs as the left did before him. Why? Because all of us like to laugh at the things we should be angry or embarrassed about.

    See, now I sound like a churlish harpy. It’s a good idea, but I fear it’s not rhetorically sound.

  9. Sylvanite

    You have some very good points White Bear. Napoli apparently lacks the decency to be embarrassed by becoming synonymous with rape.

  10. Puffin

    I have to say I’m with A White Bear on this one. While I wholeheartedly support the use of guerrilla tactics to publicly ridicule Patriarchy’s underlings like Napoli, I hate that they’re using a phrase like “hella rape” to do so. It smacks very much of Hustler’s use of Dworkin’s and MacKinnon’s names to describe dehumanizing sex acts.

    It makes a joke about rape, which to be honest, ain’t taken all that seriously to begin with. Napoli may be the punchline, but his description of a very real crime is part-and-parcel of what makes it fun(ny). I hate to be so critical, because I revel in the spirit of this gogglebomb. But seriously, “hella rape?” Really? Is that the best we can do on behalf of women?

  11. wheelomatic

    Twisty,
    Ignoring Napoli for a moment because I want my lunch to stay down, I wanted to let you know that I updated my profile to provide more interesting reading. Only 1 phrase in there is a lie, however.

    Love the action shot of Bert. 3 paws up! Awesome.

  12. thebewilderness

    May I suggest that napolied is what has just been done to the women of SoDak.

  13. perinteger

    Wikipedia is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I adore publicly maintained content.

  14. Sara

    Oh, BERT! So cute! And look, he even seems to be retrieving!

  15. hedonistic

    AUGH I AM SO MAD. For what it’s worth, I’m taking the Lysistrata (did I spell that right?) challenge seriously. This week I put my sometimes-lover on the Do Not Fuck List because he voted his pocketbook during the last election, saying about women’s impending loss of a woman’s right to choose: “It will never happen.”

    His stupid, selfish Republican vote was absolutely wasted, as we live in a Blue State, but I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to make him do penance for it. So I’m waiting, patiently, legs crossed, for that big donation to NARAL. Does that make me an extortionist? I don’t fucking care.

  16. kactus

    If this horrid man is going to become a rape verb, I think the proper term would be to “napolize.” No picky linguistic reason; I just think it works better. That said, I agree 100% with A White Bear.

  17. lcgillies

    When I saw his comment in the MSM, my first thought was to report him to the Twisty Aunt, but then I realized that her compatriots would be all over it like an ex-food writer on a bottle of Dom ’90. In describing the S.D. scenario, he basically wrote a little porn novel, extemporaneously—an amazing and clinically dazzling manifestation of patriarchal hatespeech that doesn’t come any more concentrated than that.

    I think I prefer napolize also. I think the neologism doesn’t seek to define the action, but to create the association. So I wouldn’t use it in speech, but I like the notion that in webspace the association is being welded in place. This sick idiot needs to be remembered as a rape-lover.

  18. Emma

    So I wouldn’t use it in speech, but I like the notion that in webspace the association is being welded in place. This sick idiot needs to be remembered as a rape-lover.

    Absolutely.

  19. Pony

    I’m thinking of Mrs. Napoli

    …cringing somewhere, hoping tonight isn’t going to be party night

  20. arse poetica

    I cannot get over the awesomeness of Bert’s fur.

  21. Mister Nice Guy

    I would like to propose, if it’s not too late, a different definition for the verb “to napoli”: To publicly reveal a fantasy that would better have been kept private.

    Examples certainly abound, as with Bill O’Reilly’s wistful thoughts on the murders that would have ensued if one of John Wayne’s or Clint Eastwood’s cowboy characters had stumbled across the Brokeback Mountain lovers, or most of the “funny” products on sale at Right Wing Stuff.

  22. Pony

    The “napoli” verb effort on Wikipedia is in a bit of kefuffle. Read the “discussion” pages. See the warning by Wiki handlers. If it’s transgressed too much they block the offenders from posting. That would you us. Or you, who know how to post to Wiki. (I think they make this public resource far too difficult for non-nerds, who are surprise, mostly women. I realize many young women are nerdy girls. Good for them. Good for us. But, just sayin’.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Napoli

  23. Pony

    “That would be us”.

  24. Pony

    The first napoli verb entry to Wikipedia, by one Perinteger (see original post in Horrid thread) has been challenged, with Perinteger making some requested changes:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Napoli&oldid=42880095

  25. perinteger

    At the time I posted the verb entry, the “Bill Napoli” article had just been censored fairly heavily. Fortunately for my trust in consensus, community maintenance, and the whole wiki concept, the discussion on “Bill Napoli” article seems to have concluded that his idiodic statement should be recorded for posterity. The neologism may not survive on wikipedia, but (at the moment) it seems to be alive and well on wiktionary.org.

  26. Pony

    I was hoping you’d show up. I tried to e-mail you but there’s no ‘link’ through your addy (well there’s no link through mine either, feh!) You seem Wiki knowledgeable. WHY do they make it so difficult? I find even the sandbox and pages of instruction impossible to navigate. It may not be intentional, but it’s just another one of the ways women are kept out.

    Dont’ be such a stranger here.

  27. perinteger

    Thanks! I do, however, check in on Twisty regularly – just haven’t had as much time the last few weeks to stay up on comments as I’d like . It’s the time of year when my deadlines start to loom. You can get ahold of me at twisty@buhidma.net, if you’d like to converse out of band.

    As to the difficulty of using wikipedia, I’m afraid it’s a function of markup languages. Wikipedia.org opted to avoid placing lots of restrictions on the way information can be organized and displayed in their system, but the tradeoff to that is steeper learning curve. Of course, they COULD have put way more effort into designing a good tutorial. I’m afraid my knowledge of it’s actually fairly cursory. I’m really only even that familiar with it because part of my job duties required I familiarize myself with the use and abuse of wikipedia – else, I’d have been foiled after the first ten minutes of puzzling through their example pages.

    The barrier to entry frustrates me deeply. People make a lot of noise about technology’s ability to give individuals access to information, but by focusing on that we miss a key point. Software developers and early adopters are pouring energy into building tools that are supposed to provide individuals with an unprecedented ability to publish ideas and information – to contribute, rather then merely consume. By reducing women’s involvement, you reduce the degree to which women participate in the public discourse and impoverish the social discourse.

    I place the responsibility more on our social structure then on the technology creators. I think women are less likely to be comfortable gaining familiarity with tools like wikipedia largely because society begins discouraging girls from tinkering at a very young age. (Yes, that was my wordy way of saying “I blame the patriarchy” – anyone else care to join me on a trip next door by way of china?) Boys, on the other hand, are socially incentivized to tinker.

    As an example, I once heard a male geek friend of mine mention that the people whose technical skills he most admired are invariably practitioners of the “poke and hope” learning method. Even that common euphemism for tinkering as a learning style has strong phallic undertones, which I’ve often seen highlighted when people make an almost unconcious but highly suggestive hand gesture as they use the phrase.

    Eh. One of my soap boxes.

  28. perinteger

    You’d think I’d have learned to proofread by now:

    “By reducing women’s involvement, you reduce the degree to which women participate in the public discourse and impoverish the social discourse.” should probably be worded: “By reducing women’s involvement, you reduce the degree to which women participate in the public discourse and you impoverish the social discourse.”

  29. Pony

    You know where you said “function of markup languages”? That’s where I started to suck on my lower lip.

    I believe technology creators create for themselves not the end user. We who use the technology don’t want to tinker with what’s under the hood. We just want to put the key in and go. We do not enjoy all the little head-scratching fetal position inducing moves geeks love and have designed so they can have fun while they work. They have largely forgotten the end-user who if like me, thinks they stopped the project before it was finished.

    I hope Wikipedia will have a massive reformation which might benefit with talking to the people who design newspaper editing software. They’ve got it aced. Of course, it would still have to be open-ended so we could all get in there and take out the stuff we disagree with.

    And yes, unfortunately it is so disorganized as it is now that people who know ‘something’ will have a devil of a time getting in, unless they also know–what was it–mark up language.

  30. perinteger

    Pony,

    You’re absolutely correct. Given the choice, technology creators are always going to prefer to create tools that cater to their own needs. I’d argue that their motivations have less to do with having fun and more to do with being free to work in a way that they see as being easiest and most efficient, but that’s neither here nor there. They will generally tend to make tools that do what they want, in the way they want.

    It’s a bit of a catch-22 with free software. Anyone can contribute to the end result, but to do so they must first learn how to. By learning how to contribute to the development of the software, they stop really being end users and become technology creators. As such, their needs and desires change making them less likely to push in changes that solely benefit the end user.

    This is where my orginal point comes in, though. Since technology creators are generally inclined to design tools that meet their own specifications and serve their own needs, the fact that society actively discourages girls who’ve shown an inclination that might lead them towards designing new technologies (the inclination to tinker), we reduce the liklihood that these tools will serve women’s needs (more so then we’re already reducing the liklihood that these tools will serve most end-users needs).

    I didn’t mean to insinuate that all end users should love to “geek out”. Rather, all youngsters who show a prediliction towards such activities should be supported as they explore their proclivity. I believe this would balance out the gender breakdown amongst those who do create technology. I’m afraid this doesn’t solve the problem of better serving the end users as well as the designers, but it at least balances out the barrier to entry so that the end users are disadvantaged equally, regardless of gender.

    I believe I fixated more on the portions of your question regarding how women in particular are kept out, rather then how non-technical people in general are kept out.

    To better answer your question as I now understand it, I’d say it’s simply a lack of concern reinforced by limited resources. I do think, however, that the revolution you hope for actually has a decent chance of showing up, given enough time. I personally believe that knowledge repositories improve as they gather contributors and the wikimedia projects are based on a similar belief. If the projects want to continue to grow as explosively as they have up till now, they’ll pretty much have to lower the barrier to entry. At some point, they’ll simply have attracted all the contributors who are willing to spend the significant time investment the current learning curve requires – making their tools useful to a wider range of technical interest will be the only way to continue to grow.

    I’ve not had the opportunity to use any of the newspaper editing software you mentioned, so I can’t authoritatively speak as to why the wikimedia projects didn’t go in that direction from day one. I suspect, however, that the limited resources play into that. Commercially funded software has a strong profit incentive to place a higher emphasis on maintaining a wider spectrum of end users then non-proprietary software does. Commercial software also tends to have more of the money necessary to convince geeks to design for non-geeks. There are exceptions, of course – Firefox, for instance, is a very well funded piece of free software.

    I strongly doubt I’m telling you anything you’d not surmised on your own, and I’d be surprised if my answer is in any way satisfying. Unfortunately, it’s consistent with my experience.

    BTW – I was struck by your turn of phrase: “That’s where I started to suck on my lower lip.” Concise and very effective.

    Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, this comment has gotten way out of hand. Please excuse my extreme verbosity – I’m going to go and ice my typing mitts down, now.

  31. Pony

    Perinteger

    I did mean women. I know younger women are into this technology now. But my generation, generally, is not.

    Check your e-mail.

  32. Mandos

    As someone who is for the time being also involved in educating technology creators (I wear many hats), I have to say that there is certain prices to be paid for lowering the barriers to entry as people suggest. One of the things I’ve noticed over the past few years is that the generations that were exposed only to Windows and Mac (as opposed to, say, DOS) are growing up, and it’s getting progressively more difficult to teach them to be technology creators, as both these systems give them so much for free that their thinking habits are circumscribed.

    I also think it’s dangerous to allow people to become too insulated from theunderlying reality of the technology they are using.

    That said, I think there are ways to lower the barriers to entry, but I’d rather do that by making education more available than by making software allegedly easier to use. There’s a reason why some things are more “efficient” and “effective” and why, I think, people should learn to do it that way if possible. i’m not in favour of making things stupidly cryptic, but it’s possible to put too much power into the hands of (usually commercial) technology creators. by letting them hide too much stuff.

  33. Pony

    Mandos

    Tell that to Toyota.

  34. Mandos

    I don’t own a car so I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  35. Twisty

    Damn, no shit. I have this fancy German sports car, and the other day, which was by way of being a fine day for a cruise with the top down, I traipsed into the garage to fire it up, and nothing happened. Nothing. So i called the service dude, and was informed that I had let the thing sit undriven for a week, so it had naturally “gone to sleep.” I was all like, “OK, so where’s the reboot button?” And he was all like, “Nyah nyah, stupid American car snob, you’ll have to have it towed in.” Because the reboot button is in the engine compartment, and the whole car is totally electronic, so you can’t get to the electronically-locked engine compartment unless the car is “awake.” The tow truck guy and I suffered the tortures of the damned for about an hour trying to bypass a myriad of clever anti-theft and anti-drive and anti-wake mechanisms just to roll it out of the garage without smashing it to bits (the steering wheel was, of course, locked up as well, making navigation difficult). It was, and is, a nightmare. My kingdom for a simple hand-crank.

  36. perinteger

    Mandos,

    Your argument’s more pertinent to rich clients then web based tools. The very fact that you’re interacting through a web browser means you’re insulated from the underlying technology. All that remains to be seen is whether or not the project maintainers will find ways to provide a benefit through that insulation – like ease of use. Anyway, projects like wikipedia are too socially important to risk reducing participation and don’t really need to be obfuscated to lower the barrier to entry.

  37. Pony

    Nah. Your kinddom for a Toyota. Going out now to buy baker potatoes, whence my first act will be to turn the key in my 22 year old Toyota. Never stalled. Never stuck, and all original parts with only on-demand maintenance by a harrassed mekanik.

    Although the brakes could now se some work.

    Tell it to Toyota. It’s not necessary to own one to get it Mandos.

  38. perinteger

    Ramen. Nothing short of real time software should ever be used in anything as potentially life-threatening as a car, and then only with great care.

    Pony – a 22 year old Toyota or a 40 year old VW bug. I had the pleasure of changing a tire on one recently, and even the JACK was elegance incarnate – and still the same piece of hardware that came with the car.

  39. Pony

    The thing is, somehow Toyota-San and all the other sans figured out how to make a buck while giving their clients exactly what they want. So my geeky act of turning the key will be (xx) my only geeky act of the day.

    Here’s one for Twisty:
    http://www.glossynews.com/artman/publish/toyota-volta-priapus-845.shtml

  40. Pony

    Perinteger

    Newspaper software is designed for each paper. It used to be in-house and I don’t know why they’d change that except now it’s probably the parent corp that does it. Web newspapers would be the place to look to flatter their designers.

    Back to your comment about women/girls and tinkering; oh yes some women learned to tinker, and were encouraged to do it, just so long as they stuck to tinkering with their sewing machines. Like nurses who would rather have been doctors. Somehow, how how, they managed to have the geekness to get nursing degrees, but not *real* medicine.

  41. Pony

    Forget Wikipedia:

    http://www.digitaluniverse.net/

  42. perinteger

    Pony,

    I keep hearing interesting rumblings about digitaluniverse. Last time I checked they didn’t have a release date published yet. Thanks for pointing it out again – it looks like they’re providing public services to a limited user base now. Windows only, for the moment (which renders it fairly useless to me) but it looks like they’ve got plans to provide service to anyone with a web browser.

    I’m hoping they follow through on that, cause it looks like an interesting project.

  1. gendergeek » Napoli googlebomb

    [...] [Hat-tip: Sinister Girl and Twisty] [...]

  2. ladyfest romania » are women human?

    [...] – un senator in sua sa poata vorbi despre singura exceptie pe care o poate vedea el la noua lege in south dakota care interzice avortul chiar in cazuri de viol sau incest, in urmatorii termeni: “A real-life description [of an exception scenario] to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.” (pentru ca, altfel, majoritatea violurilor sint o nimica toata. mai ales daca victima nu e virgina/religioasa.) alte reactii la napoli si interzicerea avortului in south dakota: aici, aici si aici. [...]

  3. Marius’ Homesite » Blog Archive » How to make it into the dictionary

    [...] 1. honor you with your own porn verb (napoli: To brutalize and rape, sodomize as bad as you can possibly make it, a young, religious virgin woman who was saving herself for marriage.) 2. use the above as a googlebomb, just for you 3. make the above into an wikipedia entry 3′.[added later] and an urban dictionary entry, too 4. popularize your real phone numbers through their cartoons (Check out minimum security archives for thier great cartoons) [...]

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