The other day was like any other day: the sun was shining, the birds were singing, Kinky was campaigning, and Stingray and I wanted lunch, Right Now. We initiated preliminary negotiations.
Stingray: What do you feel like?
Me: You know me. I am complaisance itself. Whatever you want is fine with me.
Stingray: Well, how about—
Me: No tacos, though. Salsa is like unto rusty little knives slicing through my esophagus.
Stingray: OK, there’s always—
Me: And I know I said there will always be a place in my gastric chambers for a Home Slice pizza, but I had it for dinner last night.
Stingray: OK, what about that sushi place on Congress?
Me: I’ve never been there. Have you ever been there? Has anyone ever been there? Is it any good?
Stingray: I don’t know, but we could try it—
Me: Are you mad? You can’t just stroll into some strange sushi place cold. We need references!
The debate raged on like this for 30 or 40 minutes, after which we elected (Stingray, with her cloudy memory, might remember it as me insisting) to try out the Cosmic Café on West Lynn. This despite such screaming red flags as the photos on their website of stoned hippie vegans doing yoga.
The attempt to carve out a Buddhist-Foodist enclave in the middle of the Texas state capitol is a noble one, but it can come as no great surprise that it does not, in this case, entirely meet with sweet success. Cosmic Café’s vaguely Indian menu is too long on karma and too short on korma for my taste.
I ordered the Buddha’s Delight and received the thing pictured above: a glob of greasy overcooked spinach and rubbery tofu with some cardamom rice, and, hiding under the pappadam cracker, a cup of dal, a vegetable samosa notable only in that it weighed about 37 pounds, and some wan pita bread.
Stingray (above, giving me the stinkeye) was so offended by the chutney that came with her lentil burritos that, in a sudden surprise move, she unilaterally declared Cosmic Café to be Off The List. This pronouncement came despite the happy clouds painted on the ceiling, the amusing lone dude meditating with deeply spiritual facial expressions and hand gestures beneath a giant mural of Vishnu, and the fact that the server laughed accommodatingly at all my jokes.
The dal was really pretty good, though.