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Apr 21 2006

Yellowtail Menace

Great Scott! It was in slack-jawed horror that I just read an ancient (April 18) Majikthise post, whereupon I sustained a shock from which I will not soon recover. Big whoop, you say? Well, thanks for your concern. Because—and this is going to be a fish story, so suck up a shot of espresso now—according to Lindsay, who has it from Eli Swiney, who has it from Wonkette, who has it from the Chicago Trib, it turns out the Moonies are in charge of the country’s sushi. That’s right. Coronated messiah, master brainwasher, and owner of the Washington Times Rev. Sun Myung Moon is not just one of the craziest motherfuckers on the planet, he is also “king of the ocean.” His yellowtailocracy, True World Foods, apparently supplies the vast majority of the country’s sushi restaurants. My despair is now complete.

16 comments

  1. Mandos

    It’s sad. But then, almost everything you do comes into contact with something owned by or made by evil.

  2. Brianna

    That’s so bizarre that it’s almost, well, not.

  3. JoeB

    Oh man…and I love sushi so much…

    This is just like the pangs I feel listening to Oingo Boingo and knowing Danny Elfman is a Scientologist.

  4. Annie

    Quelle damage!!!

  5. Annie

    P.S. – (and thinking of fellow blamer, Kate, as I type this)

    I am SO glad this is a blog and not a chat site. I would never get anything else done! Rev. Moon as Lord of the Sushi now, too??? I don’t dare start blaming; I may never stop.

  6. alphabitch

    “yellowtail menace?” Did you really say that?? I can’t stop laughing.

  7. Annie

    Jumpin’ Dragon Rolls, Twistress, I just read the Tribune article. Didya hafta post this? I practically live on sushi and ceviche (

  8. alix

    Aw, heeeeeeeeell no.

    Actually, i went to high school with two sisters whose family was in the church. They were very, very sensitive about the whole thing and had actually testified in court about some kind of anti-cult legislation. The one who was closer to my age cried when she talked about how people viewed her family’s religion as a dangerous cult. She was, besides the whole moonie thing, otherwise incredibly intelligent, well-read, and politically active (in some good stuff). It started to make me think… hey, this might be OK, leave well enough alone? Expand your horizons, you know?

    Then i visited her house and saw how subjugated her mother was, nearly chained to a stack of dirty dishes that somehow just piled and piled and never got done. She’d never learned to drive, so she just never left the house unless someone took her. Her father was never home, “working” in any small cafe he could find on his laptop. They both left the kids for California during high school and as far as i know, are still there, doing “work” for the “church.” One sister moved to nyc to become a famous actress and burned out after a few months of not finding any work; the other still grapples with a crippling, ugly case of depression. That one lives in the old family home with a constantly rising number of smelly-ass, uncared-for cats, whom she refuses to get neutered.

    i can’t help but think that the cat girl and the out-of-work-actress might’ve had different lives if their parents hadn’t spent all the kids’ childhood preaching bull-honkey, but maybe that’s just me. Maybe it had nothing to do with the fact that they were all deeply, deeply delusional. Who knows.

  9. jc.

    The trouble is that while a lot of us “sincere” kinda people are busy ruminating on whats´s right and wrong and how to proceed from here to there the evil doers with their minions of mediocrity are busy buying up and controlling everything so that any time we make any sort of real world activity consumerwise we end up enriching their resources for continued ignorance and oppresion. And the wheel rolls on.
    It´s kinda like a big game of monopoly, substitute sushi for Conneticut place (etc.) and you got it.

  10. Sara

    NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  11. Heart

    I agree that Moon is a Menace, but why “yellowtail”. How is it all right to use racist language, even for Menaces?

    Heart

  12. Pony

    Yellowtail is the type of tuna most commonly used for sushi.

  13. Twisty

    “I agree that Moon is a Menace, but why “yellowtail”. How is it all right to use racist language, even for Menaces?”

    Ha! Good one.

  14. Mandos

    I thought the correct spelling was Sun Myung Moon.

  15. Twisty

    You thought right, Mandos. My copy editor, alas, is still on vacation.

  16. Mandos

    As someone with a non-anglo name in real life, I can say that I really enjoy Rev. Moon’s name. Sun Myung Moon. That “Myung” just adds a je ne sais quoi to the name, don’t you think?

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