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May 04 2006

The Triumphal Return of the Spinster

Yep, I’m back, but everything’s still kind of wobbly. I’ll fix it when I get back from lunch.

Meanwhile, thanks for all your sympathy cards during the major crash. They brought a tear to the eye.

I’m leaving Fakeblog up indefinitely as a sort of perpetual open thread. You can use it when you need to let off steam or whatever it is that you do.

And now I’m off to absorb several tacos.

41 comments

  1. norbizness

    Consume Mass Quantities

  2. Hattie

    Twisty triumphs!

  3. cypress

    wahoo! triumph of patriarchy blamer over coders.

  4. thebewilderness

    Alleluja, I went to that other site you linked. It was a very stressful experience for an advocate of pith and truth, logic and reason. I found three strawfems, two chastisements for failure to obey, and vast quantities of contempt for those who fail to obey. Needless to say, Freeman was right at home there.

  5. FaerieDust

    YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

    Chips and salsa for everyone!

  6. schatze

    Welcome back. Did Bertie dig a hole by which you escaped the clutches of the patriarchy’s PHP code?

  7. mel

    Oh….thank heavens….I’ve been a lurker for about a month now. This is my first post. I almost went into cardiac arrest when I couldn’t get to the blog yesterday. I love this place!! Twisty is my hero. I’d say “heroine,” but it sounds too close to an illegal drug. Actually, now that I think about it, Twisty IS my heroin. :D

  8. Jodie

    Hurray, tacos! Maybe I should go have a second lunch…

  9. Amber

    Ahhhh tacos. What happened? I want all the geeky details.

  10. barlyru

    how easy is that persiflage?

  11. Sara

    Welcome back. Sadly for me, in the throes of yet another week spent on DayQuil/NyQuil, I forgot to bookmark Fakeblog before your site disappeared. Oh, well. I had nothing constructive to add, anyway, not that this ever stopped me before.

    Happy munching!

  12. witchy-woo

    I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.

  13. Cass

    I’m still a bit wobbly myself. But I’m so happy to have you back with us, my love.

  14. Joanna

    What a relief! Must eat tacos.

  15. mel

    Oops. Mea culpa! Mea culpa! I used an emoticon–in my first post, no less.

  16. al

    Let the blames begin!

  17. FaerieDust

    Mel, I did the same in the knitting thread. I will say that posting here is tidying up my ellipsis problem.

    Huzzah–the Blame button returns!

  18. Jodie

    I love ellipses…I don’t think I can quit without some kidn of intervention…STOP ME NOW BEFORE I PAUSE AGAIN!

  19. ae

    Mmmm, tacos. Yaay, patriarchy blaming!

    Blame!

  20. MzNicky

    Twisty: Thank goodness. Why would anyone still go to the fake blog when you’re here? Not to mention the pseudo-blog you thoughtfully erected for us during your technical difficulties! (Referring, of course, to the fem blog featuring Mr. Man. Please, don’t do that to us again. On the other hand, having done so makes us appreciate you all the more. You sly boots!)

    Note to Jodie: Ellipses are the passive-aggressivist of punctuation. Do you really want to do that? If so, you must search your soul to find out why. And then STOP. There’s nothing wrong with a period. Well, until you reach menopause, then all will be revealed.

  21. AntipodeanKate

    Oh good.

  22. Jennifer

    MzNicky, I agree completely about ellipses being passive aggressive. I was called out on it several years ago. I used them all the time in business and personal writing and thought they were a wonderful, clever way to convey… my thoughts. Then I realized that every time I used one it was like a little apology, i.e. “I’m not really certain of what I’m saying or if I should be saying it but here’s what I think, unless, of course, you think something else.” It’s a written form of the demure head tilt, if you will.

    Jodie, try observing your ellipse usage to see if you’re not conveying an apology or “softening” of sorts for stating that specific thought. Try rewriting it without the ellipse and see if the sentence doesn’t become more matter of fact rather then coy and deferential. It’s as if by inserting the pause (ellipse) you are inviting the reader to disagree, discount, and/or interrupt you.

  23. robin

    What the hell are elipses?
    are they “quotation marks”?
    Edify-moi, s’il vous-plait.
    Whatever they are, I like Jennifer’s comment very much. I like the phrase “written in the form of a demure head tilt.” Her advice can be applied to much of the way women write and talk. I’m trying to become more aware of these mannerisms in myself, so as to extinguish as many as possible.

  24. Sara

    Ellipses:

    Get it?

    Technically, I believe these are only properly used to denote missing verbiage in a quotation, although they are often used many, many other ways. I am too lazy to look up what other uses are deemed proper; my grammar book is all the way over on the reference bookcase, two feet away.

    Personally, I don’t really care about this as long as people don’t overuse them. As with any cute little punctuation affectation, overuse dims any potential for charm.

    Naturally, we must blame the patriarchy for both bad grammar and affected usage.

  25. MzNicky

    robin:

    Ellipses ( … ) are not quotation marks (” “).

    Quotation marks are used to delineate something somebody else actually said.

    “Hey, Stephen Colbert really handed Bush his ass the other night, didn’t he?” said MzNicky.

    Quote marks may indicate nicknames.

    Everyone is eager to see Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove get indicted.

    They can also be the punctuational equivalent of irony and/or the quizzically raised eyebrow.

    Well. That’s a very good idea. I’ll certainly take your “suggestion” under advisement.

    Ellipses, on the other hand, are correctly used to indicate that something has been omitted from an original quote or citation.

    “I no longer feel that I can serve as your President,” said Bush. “I’d like to thank Karl, Condi, Dick, Jeff … and finally, Joe Lieberman, for their support.”

    Ellipses are frequently used to indicate the trailing off of a thought.

    I just don’t know how much longer I can stand this douchebag administration…it’s killing me…must go lay down now…

    Ellipses are also frequently misused because of an inability to admit that one has indeed finished one’s thought. In such usage, ellipses serve the dual purpose of 1) conveying the false impression that one wants someone else to complete one’s thought; and 2) implying that one’s thought is so profound that one must go lie down before one can summon the strength to come back and actually complete it.

    I don’t know about you, but this whole thing gives me a headache…

    I hope this has been helpful.

  26. KMTBERRY

    I read THE WHOLE THING on the other femblog with Mr. Man. I read the Cloulee Dam thing. I am going to have lunch now, but am left wondering: CAN a male be a feminist? In the strictest sense it seems not. Is it perhaps like sexuality, where there is a spectrum with totally homosexual at one end and totally heterosexual at the other, with 99% of individuals being located Between these two points? That seems somewhat workable to me, with pure feminist being on one end and total non-feminist (Pig? What is the correct term?) on the other, and everyone falling somewhere in between. Mr Man could be called SOMEWHAT feminist, but certainly not a pure feminist.
    How well I remember 1970. One thing I remember is that males in general were forced to become LESS chauvanistic by females, who refused to interract with them socially, unless they changed their attitudes. Boys consequently grew up indoctrinated into feminism by their mothers and siblings, and to a certain extent their culture. (I mean SOME did). From this experience I have taken the lesson that Men will do ANYTHING NECESSARY to keep females interacting with them socially, even give up privileges. SOmewherre deep in my DARK DARK HEART I think Males would agree to become the abject slaves of females, relegated to doing only the gruntiest of gruntwork, as long as females would agree to keep interacting with them socially.
    So once again we can see that power comes from the collective. (God, I am SUCH a Commie.)

  27. Jennifer

    MzNicky, your informative, witty examples above slay me! I love the Tennessee Guerilla Women blog you write for and I always enjoy your comments over here at IBTP. Keep up the great work!

  28. TP

    I also went to read the muddled thoughts on display at the F-Word site. It really made me appreciate the more cogent and well-thought-out posts here. Freeman is a real mess, the poor kid. I’m glad he has his defenders.

    I can’t imagine how anyone could be against my dear Twisty when she is so consistently entertaining and fun to read. Is porn really so important to some people that it’s enough to deny themselves the pleasures of reading IBTP?

    I had to post a comment pointing out something I have learned from Twisty: Porn. Just because you like it doesn’t mean it’s not bad. We like lots of things that are bad for us. But ‘I like it’ doesn’t absolve the porn world from being something by men and for men and basically bad for men because it so effectively panders to their lowest and most animal instincts.

    How bad it is for women is something I find no need to even mention, it’s so self-evident. The idea that there are women who deny this on the rather childish basis of ‘But I like it!’ and men who give into it because they know women who tell them ‘I like it’ is unbeliveably stupid.

    I want to note that when Twisty and I first discussed this subject I was every bit as stupid and pig-headed and wrong in my assumptions as Freeman or any other manly porn-lover out there. But after years of thought, I have managed to come around. After a long bit of discussion about it, she gave up on me, but I stuck with it.

  29. mel

    Kmtberry said: “SOmewherre deep in my DARK DARK HEART I think Males would agree to become the abject slaves of females, relegated to doing only the gruntiest of gruntwork, as long as females would agree to keep interacting with them socially.”

    You know, it’s like watching a huge poker game. The players who consistently have the best hands and could win hands down (the women) keep folding because the other players are using their best “poker faces.” (Wow…[using an ellipse properly here, I think] that could really be an amusing analogy to someone….) Alas, I have often folded my best hands as well. Like Robin, I am trying to become more aware. Age is helping.

  30. robin

    Thank you sara and mznicky – now I know.
    And here I thought they were just called “three periods in a row”.

  31. Twisty

    Yay TP! Just, yay.

  32. Piig

    Awesome!

    I had some friends once who would take photos of guys coming out of strip clubs and post them around town. Loads of fun.

  33. Pony

    I suggest picking it up a notch: take pix of license plates of johns. Do call the media before you launch.

  34. Kate

    Snappin’ up those leerers! Yes!

    Men have had the pleasure of thinking that women live for their approval and that they have the right to impinge on a woman’s space no matter what, where or how. He probably thought he was being all cool and clandestine in those cheap mirror shades.

    My little one related to me recently how she went with her friend and her sister to play pool at a local resturant/bar. Under age and unaware of the behavior of men in bars, my daughter told me how some balding man who was probably old enough to be their father kept flirting with one of the girls.

    I had to tell her the rule about bars; that men think them places where they can find an easy outlet for their primal urges. That society has inculcated the idea that females and bars means easy sex with none of the requisite social interludes of ‘dating’. She decided she’d rather not go play pool there anymore.

    Men need to be called on this behavior again and again and again. And then called on it some more, by women.

    Ellipses are indeed passive aggressive….doncha think?…or maybe not…or maybe…but then…

    See? And no caps are kind of passive too, although my keyboard is shot, so often my ommissions of prepositions and caps are usually a technical error caused by my lazy keyboard that likes to be slammed to obey.

  35. Mandos

    Men need to be called on this behavior again and again and again. And then called on it some more, by women.

    Here’s something that intrigues me. I myself am naturally inclined to the idea that sexual desire should ideally be but the carnal aspect of social respect and love. But this is very often a romanticization that might indeed be coming from the place that patriarchy-blamers direct their blame—at least, according to them. So does blaming the patriarchy also mean rejecting the notion of “place to acquire temporary casual sex”? If so, that’s something very interesting. Because when I read,

    I had to tell her the rule about bars; that men think them places where they can find an easy outlet for their primal urges. That society has inculcated the idea that females and bars means easy sex with none of the requisite social interludes of ‘dating’. She decided she’d rather not go play pool there anymore.

    I read not merely a condemnation of the obsession with sexualizing children and concern about harassment, but also as a more interesting condemnation of the notion of “an easy outlet for [one's] primal urges” without “social interludes”.

    I think you can guess why I find that interesting.

  36. Mandos

    SOmewherre deep in my DARK DARK HEART I think Males would agree to become the abject slaves of females, relegated to doing only the gruntiest of gruntwork, as long as females would agree to keep interacting with them socially.

    and then

    You know, it’s like watching a huge poker game. The players who consistently have the best hands and could win hands down (the women) keep folding because the other players are using their best “poker faces.”

    This too, I find interesting. Why do you think this is? (That men would agree to abjection in order to maintain contact with women, that women have the best hands, etc.) How symmetrical is it? (Do women have a corresponding need or…are intrinsically not possessed of this need?)

  37. katrina

    Male humans, for the most part, are pack animals. Study the techniques of the “Dog Whisperer” and you will understand the male human and the patriarchal female human. For the most part.

  38. thebewilderness

    Mandos,
    The problem with mens attitude in a ‘place to acquire temp casual sex’ is the erroneous assumption that any person in attendance must be there for the purpose of being available for temp casual sex. Rather like the bit where if you didn’t want to be raped you wouldn’t have been alone with a man. The mythology promoted by the patriarchy creates the illusion that all women in public are available for use by men.
    As far as the abject slaves idea. No, just no.

  39. Mandos

    The problem with mens attitude in a ‘place to acquire temp casual sex’ is the erroneous assumption that any person in attendance must be there for the purpose of being available for temp casual sex.

    So the problem is not the existence of spaces intended for that, but the attitude of the people in them?

    As far as the abject slaves idea. No, just no.

    Um, no to what specifically? (Since some of the possible nos are mutually contradictory.)

  40. Mandos

    Vlrgh. That last blockquote wasn’t intended to exist. I wish we had an edit function that actually worked, esp since we have to register anyway.

  41. thebewilderness

    There is no place like that, there is only the myth that men are entitled to treat people as though their mere presence in a bar is acquiescence to the myth.
    NO TO ABJECT SLAVES. NO TO SLAVES. NO TO ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE A HUMAN IS ABJECT: SO LOW OR DEGRADED AS TO BE HOPELESS.

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