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May 05 2006

On Notice: Public Pervs of Austin

leering_dude.jpg
Hey, leering perv! Take a picture, it’ll last longer!

Stingray had a powerful hankerin for some pineapple salsa, so did we make our own? Hell no we didn’t. We did hie to the Hula Hut on Lake Austin.

To get there, you first abandon your sense of decency. Then you drive down Lake Austin Blvd, turn where the sign says, for some reason, “Oyster Bay,” and leave your car in a distant spot in a remote parking lot. A hearty youth picks you up in a golf cart, like in “The Prisoner,” and drives you down to a marina engulfed by an installation of endisneyed restauranty attractions of which the Hula Hut is but one. To pass the time during this long and asinine journey, the youth suggests you try the “Mexonesian Shrimp Flautas” as an appetizer.

That’s right, Number 6. The Hula Hut is a faux-texhawaiian-psuedo-tiki tourist trap.

hulahutmarg.jpgOnce arrived at the Hula Hut, another hearty youth chucks a beeper at you and shoves you outside to cluster around a bar under a palapa to drink frozen margaritas with about 5,897 other repulsive turistas. They’re all frantically cramming in for a table on the pier overlooking the marina like it’s the only time in their lives they’ll ever, while bolting down a 40-pound enchilada, see such a gripping spectacle as that ugly-ass dam and the distant lakefront hills where the filthy rich live.

I don’t dismiss tourist traps out of hand. Sometimes, when there is a modicum of nauticality involved, and your regular life takes place mostly on land, a watery interlude can impart a surreal sensation of being on vacation when you really aren’t. The Hula Hut is like that: a cheap furlough amongst the vulgar.

Wait, where was this going? Oh yeah. Leering motherfuckers.

hulahutenchilada.jpgWhat is with these lone middle-aged dudes and all the goddam leering? I’m not talking about the casual ogle, either. I’m talking about the atomic super-leer, which repellent practice I believe to be proliferating. A couple of days ago Stingray and I got atomic super-leered at by a lone middle-aged dude at a coffeeshop. We sauntered in, chatting, as we so often do, about yacht rock, and this creepy middle-aged dude gave us the full-body once-over about 37 times. This leer was piercing, unapologetic, and extraordinarily lengthy. A zombie-like sort of sinister entitlement oozed out of him, too, as though he didn’t realize he was actually out in public male-gazing at live humans rather than crouching in a fetishy sweat over his home computer porn-delivery system. Oddly, at the same time, he somehow conveyed a crushing sense of inferiority. Which of course pleased me through my disgust.

It was much the same with the above-pictured fuckwad at the Hula Hut. Like all middle-aged dudes who hang out alone at fake tourist trap tiki bars, he had a beer and a shot of Jager and a night of quiet desperation in front of him. His demeanor was furtive and pervy, but there was nothing the least bit surreptitious about his leer. He trained his stupid CSI mirror shades on us the minute we materialized and maintained his supervision as we lurched into our seats under the palapa and ordered our stupid frozen margaritas in plastic cups.

“That dude,” observed Stingray, taking a swig. Nobody reviles an atomic super-leer like Stingray.

“Tell me about it,” I said, taking a swig.

The examination continued uninterrupted. We took some more swigs.

“What the fuck?” remarked Stingray. We were endlessly fascinating, apparently.

“There’s a porn flick playing in his tiny brain.”

“Should we just tell him right now we’re not gonna suddenly start making out?”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

He kept us under this prurient surveillance for a really long and highly unnerving interval. Finally I’d had enough. I whipped out my big obtrusive camera and made a big production of snapping him in the act of being a dickface and commenced sneering at him with a jaundiced expression until our dinner beeper went off and Stingray and I were carried along on a tide of humanity toward our 40-pound enchiladas.

Henceforth it will my official policy to photograph, with intent to ridicule and disparage, anybody who performs a pervy middle-aged atomic super-leer at me.

73 comments

4 pings

  1. norbizness

    NOT the Hula Hut! Is nothing sacred anymore?

    And remember, if you try to leave the Hut before the force-feeding, a big bubble pops up out of the river, envelops you, and returns you to your tiki-seat.

  2. shelleth

    I personally can’t wait to bear witness to the faces of the asshats who would leer at a uniboobal spinster aunt and her uncannily androgynous companion! Perhaps this sort of persiflage deserves a new category?

    Twisty, have you heard of the HollabackNYC blog? Sort of a similar concept, I find it both entertaining and nauseating at the same time.

  3. dogged.

    “To get there, you first abandon your sense of decency”

    Word.

    Also, word on photographing the perv. It’s time for Holla Back Austin.

  4. Sara

    It’s your own fault for dressing that way, you know.

    (KIDDING)

    I’m just going to leer at that enchilada awhile longer, if you don’t mind. I only popped back over here because I’m eating a divine salad — yes, it is divine even though it has frisée — and it made me think of you.

  5. ryan

    Bravo! I do this to people with staring problems all the time. I like to take multiple shots with a flash for the full effect. I can’t believe he didn’t have the shame to turn away…

  6. julybirthday

    It’s the gross entitlement radiating of pervs like this that makes me so angry.

    This is one of my (many) beefs about porn: it reinforces the idea that women are objects to be leered at. How gross is it that guys go to places like Hooters or Bone Daddy’s for lunch on a workday, then come back to the office? How many of them aren’t going to be able to make the switch from Women as Leer Objects to Women as People and Coworkers? EEWWW.

    On a trip to Amsterdam, a group of girlfriends and I did the tourist thing and went to the red light district, only to encounter a large, highly excited group of Japanese businessmen who were laughing, pointing and yelling at the prostitutes in the windows. Then they surrounded us, laughing, pointing and yelling. There was no boundary for them marking who was for sale and who wasn’t.

    But as you’ve pointed out, just being a woman means you’re for sale in someone’s mind. IBTP!

  7. schatze

    Leering sex. It’s our best selling brand of sex. If you can’t leer at it, it’s not so sexy. I’m surprised the pervs don’t carry around sound bytes of sleazy saxophone music to play as a woman walks into a room. Maybe that’s the next thing “empowered”women will do to acquire The Gaze.

  8. CarolS

    Holla Back, Twisty! http://www.hollabacknyc.blogspot.com

  9. Hattie

    What a nuisance. I do not arouse male fantasies much any more at a age 66, which is a relief. But even I had to deal with a leering co-worker recently. It really annoyed me. So I started being disgusting: picking my teeth and so on. He left me alone after a while.
    You’ve got to break the fantasy.

  10. Sam

    julybirthday, that same sentiment has been on my mind the past week or so as I contemplate how peeved a woman writer who affirms men’s right to treat other women as purchasable pussymeat got at men talking more about her body’s fuckfactor than about something she wrote. There’s no “those women over there are okay to grade like fuckable/unfuckable meat but not this woman” in men’s minds, we’re all put in the same big group of Others-with-cocksockets.

  11. kelleybell

    Maybe you are just more interesting than anyone he has ever ever seen back on the ol farm!

    hee-hee-hee

  12. Hattie

    http://www.bangkokrecorder.com/?p=redakt.exposed_detail&ID=53&ArtikelID=5

    Check out these losers!

  13. B. Dagger Lee

    Have You Seen This Man? Wanted for the following crimes: movie theater popcorn tub masturbation; peeing into a bottle while operating a moving vehicle; premature chat-room ejaculation; single-bed tube-sock and Spidey sheet imaginary gang-bang aesthetic crimes; solitary semen staining shag rug scenester secrets; disposable phone obscene squeaker and gibbler hang-ups, and plastic blow-up doll orifice fucking. Should be considered dangerously irritating and armed with aviator-dictator glasses and stinkeye.

    –BDL

  14. Red Queen

    For some reason these creeps think I will talk to them and they like to launch into how I “need a real man”. So I usually tell them the only real men I need can take my 10 inch strap on.

  15. Amber

    Usually I’ve just adopted the middle-finger & glare policy mid-leer, but the photography thing is much better. I think I’ll make sure to spend as much time taking their picture as they spent staring at me. Think that might get the message across?

  16. karenology

    Ordinarily I feel a bit dorky carrying a big ole camera around to take pictures in public, even though it’s a nice camera. But now, I realize that’s a brilliant way to deal with creepy lechers. Treat me like I’m on display and I’ll treat you the same way, sucker. Thanks for the idea, Twisty!

    Also – that woman in the background looks like she may be laughing at his pathetic ass.

  17. feminist first

    I sometimes adopt the public announcement comedy approach, which involves inviting everyone within hearing distance to take a good look at ‘this man who has been staring at me for the last [insert time] minutes’. He never likes his own medicine – as a matter of fact it makes him shrink… or disappear.

  18. Kelda

    Oddly enough, the last guy that groped me looked exactly like the really short butler-dude from the last episode of the Prisoner. It’s a conspiracy of some kind.

  19. Metta

    Is that Tom Arnold?

    Did anyone read that story a few months ago about the perv exposing himself on a subway train? I can’t remember the city (New York, maybe?), but he took his tiny head out and began to masturbate, and the woman he was leering at snapped a pic of him with her cellphone camera and reported him to the police.

    He later claimed he was “…already masturbating when she got on the train and she interrupted him’.

    Oh, that’s much better.

  20. Ledasmom

    My god, that sounds absolutely revolting (Middle-Aged Leering Guy, that is). Damned if I know how people put up with this kind of obnoxious behavior (for some reason, they don’t do it to me, so I have no experience with it personally).

  21. Cass

    You’ve made it a better city for us all, Twisty. As they said in the Village, “Feel free!”.

  22. mel

    Julybirthday said: “How gross is it that guys go to places like Hooters or Bone Daddy’s for lunch on a workday, then come back to the office? How many of them aren’t going to be able to make the switch from Women as Leer Objects to Women as People and Coworkers? EEWWW.”

    How many? All of them. That’s how many. There IS no switch from “women as leer objects” to “women as people and coworkers.” I think most men would be surprised to find that women were even listed as their coworkers at all. I have worked in many offices, employed as the official “leeree.” And regardless of what work I actually did do (and I did a lot), I always knew my real position was “leeree.” Now that I’m in my 40s, I don’t have as much traffic anymore, which is just fine with me. The only problem is now that I’m no longer a “leeree” (or not one as often anyways), I find that instead of becoming an official “worker” (which I foolishly thought I would), I have become officially invisible! IBTFP!!

  23. femhist

    I had an awful experience with an unsolicited camera today. Said camera was not being wielded by a blamer, but by a member of the patriarchy, who before I had any idea what was happening, tried to take a picture up my skirt. (Luckily, it was not a short skirt, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t succceed.) This on a busy street in the bright sunlight. Ugh. Before I even realized what was happening (the flash gave it away) he was gone, and I was left feeling gross, embarrassed, mad, and ashamed that I didn’t react quickly enough to make a scene. Blah, I feel like shit. Dickhead.

  24. Jodie

    Mel, I’m in the same boat you are. Only I’m 50.

    It’s funny, though, the invisibility happens everywhere BUT at my job (maybe the medical field is different…even though I haven’t been an RN all that long, the title seems to come with a huge amount of respect. It’s weird).

  25. Puffin

    Yacht rock! I love it. iTunes has a whole smattering of adult contemporary music they call ‘Essential Yacht Rock.’ Peter Cetera, Kenny Loggins, Michael McDonald, et al with a little Sade and Carly Simon thrown in for good measure.

    Still no Joan Jett’s Crimson and Clover, however, though I dutifully requested that they add it. Gah dammit.

    On the subject of leering men, there used to be this funny little sketch comedy show in the early 90s and they did this sketch called “Damn These Eyes.” (The State? Upright Citizens Brigade? The Ben Stiller Show? I can’t remember.) Something happens involving nuclear radiation or alien abduction or something that results in this one guy having these little dotted lines shooting out from his eyes showing everyone exactly where he’s looking. No big deal except for the fact that he can’t leer at women anymore without them noticing and hating him for it. In the course of an 8 minute sketch we see how his inability to leer clandestinely ruins his life. Damn these eyes, he cries at the end, damn these eyes.

    Doesn’t seem like the mofo you’ve pictured here cares much whether or not women hate him, though. And lucky for him, there’s not much we can do about the fact that a good plenty of us do, indeed, hate him. Although I do like this policy of photographing the pervs and offering up their pics for public ridicule. Beacause truly, as Stingray so aptly noted, What the fuck???

  26. E.

    Taking their picture – good tactic! And this guy, eew. Leering in sunglasses is horrible (especially those sunglasses).

  27. joolya

    Ugh, I would feel really sorry for this guy, who seems very sad and lonely, and like he’s got no mates and no one to talk to … Maybe someone needs to tell him that leering isn’t the way to attract friendly drinking buddies.

  28. saltyC

    femhist, that’s sickening. I wish someone would try that while my dog is around. He’d get shredded.

  29. robin

    Ha! I wonder if this dude expected his 15 minutes of fame to be on Twisty’s blog!
    This amused me tremendously.
    Although I admit to being an unrepentant starer myself, though certainly not in the icky style of Mr Happy Sunglasses. I love looking at people. Beautiful people, odd people, regular people, interesting people, bizarre people, and I do get called on it from time to time. I wonder if I’ll end up with my mug looking out from the screen of someone’s blog?

  30. rumblelizard

    Twisty, was there any reaction from King Leer? What happened when you took the pic, did he slink off, or keep leering, or act ashamed or anything?

  31. mel

    Ha ha! King “Leer”! Did he divide his kingdom in three, or did he stay one big fucking asshole?

  32. Pony

    Puffin and ? here is a source for Jett’s Crimson and Clover. You have to download the software. I did, took 4 secs and had no Norton apoplexy. Ok so far. I’ve not spent much time here, so I can’t vouch for it entirely. But I wanted Duke Ellington and Jimi and I found it and was listening in a couple minutes.

    http://www.radioblogclub.com/search/0/joan_jett

  33. thebewilderness

    I have this mental image of one of those cartoon cameras that shoots a boxing glove out of the lens when you take a picture of king leer.

  34. Puffin

    Thank you, Pony, but it’s the principle of the thing. iTunes needs to get their act together.

    Thank you for the radioblogclub link though. Upon opening it I found an advertisement for http://www.GothicMatch.com, the singles site for Goth folks to find love and friends (and hopefully both at the same time). I didn’t realize that Goth people still existed, let alone that they have their own swingin’ singles scene. But then I saw their “Model of the Month” and realized that there’s prolly nuthin’ really Goth at all about the site except its name.

    I’ll keep y’all updated on the iTunes/C&C situation.

  35. Pony

    Sorry I couldn’t help but I don’t have IPod. I saw nothing like that. No ads at all for me surfing through several pages of that Blog. Maybe this is the blogular hell some others referred to which I never get. Try Firefox set at “kill vermin.”

  36. CarolS

    Hey, didn’t David Koresh have glasses with the same kind of frames?

  37. FaerieDust

    Femhist, they’ve just passed a law in MD making “upskirting” illegal. Because you have to make a law that says that taking a picture up a woman’s skirt is a crime.

  38. scratchy888

    Doesn’t happen often to me — but when it does, I’m usually walking around, and if I notice or suspect any sort of prolonged sleeze, I start to do some of my martial arts/ boxing routine, which is to say I engage in movements which employ Muay Thai elbow strikes, or jab, cross, hook, uppercut.

  39. No Sharp Edges

    Blechh. This brings to mind another kind of male perv stare I’ve encountered recently – the in-the-rearview/sideview-mirror-stare. This is when I’m waiting at a stoplight, or in a drive-through line, and the perv driving the car in front of me stares at my reflection in his (usually sideview) mirror, thinking he’s so clever because he’s surreptitiously mauling me with his eyes, not realizing that, duh, the angle is such that I can see him doing it. I usually wear sunglasses when I drive, so apparently these freaks don’t realize that I see what they’re doing. It makes my skin crawl.

    I don’t carry a camera with me, but I suppose I could take off the shades, look directly into his mirror, and scratch my nose with my middle finger – maybe that would get the message across, without being overt enough to provoke perv road rage.

  40. stingray

    scratchy888 says:

    “Doesn’t happen often to me — but when it does, I’m usually walking around, and if I notice or suspect any sort of prolonged sleeze, I start to do some of my martial arts/ boxing routine, which is to say I engage in movements which employ Muay Thai elbow strikes, or jab, cross, hook, uppercut.”

    What the fuck??

  41. thebewilderness

    Well, Stingray,
    She is saying she exhibits behavior(nonverbal) that invites the perv into her personal space for a thorough drubbing. It’s a martial arts communication technique, or maybe I saw it on ninja turtles, I forget.

  42. scratchy888

    Yeah, I’m saying it gives the perv something to think about which he wasn’t initially thinking about.

  43. jaye

    Too bad you couldn’t photograph you and the Stingray in his CSI shades. What a moroon.

  44. TP

    I think these men know exactly how offensive they are being when they stare at someone. The emotional aggression and angry insistence behind such a stare are far more creepy than the simple indulgence of lust.

    I don’t want my friends Twisty and Sting Ray to think that they are anything less than beautiful, but the suspicion that this particular guy was indulging himself in a stare down occurred to me instantly. Staring is one of many preludes to a fight; it’s an invitation to acknowledge what an alpha dog you are and sneer of contempt.

    And men pretend that the male gaze is benign and something to be sought out by women! While they know full well that it can be an effective fuck you that can be denied with shit-eating satisfaction if anyone should take the bait and react to it.

    I must confess that I am a normal guy and I have been observed to be momentarily gobstruck and speechlessly staring at women – even men – of great beauty. But never to the point of aggression. I remember distinctly one almost uncomfortable day I spent with a very nice male model who lived in Jim Morrison’s old house in Laurel Canyon in LA. There was nothing sexual about the difficulties I had tearing my eyes away from his beauty. He seemed used to it. What a life that would be – I’m glad I’m not abnormally good looking.

    PS: Thanks for the little yay. I think consciousness raising is a job which requires a great deal of patience, because like dieting, it takes time for the mind to retrain itself.

  45. KMTBERRY

    COCKSOCKETS !!!!!!
    KING LEER !!!!!

    BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAA HA HHA

    You guys are H*I*L*A*R*I*O*U*S* !!!!

    From the PHOTO, that guy looks Beyond Pathetic. Like he might throw himself into Lake Austin any minute because he just realized what a loser he is. But the photo is only a fraction of the story…the REAL story is his BEHAVIOR. Sometimes people think I am staring at them when actually I can’t see them at all, because I am so nearsighted. I doubt that is true in his case however. Especially since he looked you guys up and down.

    I have found that picking your nose will break the male gaze right away.

  46. Tapetum

    I’m with scratchy888. Since I’m up for a belt test shortly, I’m wandering around town with a sai in hand, flipping it this way and that, punching and/or stabbing imaginary opponents. I haven’t noticed a single leerer since I started.

    Though it hasn’t actually cut down on the number of people staring at me – just who they are and why they’re staring.

  47. ozma

    You know, the leer has its uses. For example, sometimes I’m sanguine about the patriarchy. I’m just sort of like–whatever, patriarchy bad but what’s for lunch? I spend lots of my time writing at home–when do I even leave my house? To go to an all women’s gym, I live in my bubble. Then I encounter the leer. The leer makes me revolutionary. The leer makes me want to pose with all the women I know sitting in a big wicker chair like Huey Newton while each of us holds a big ass gun. The leer makes me want to start a weapon carrying female army- the actual bloodshed can be minimal, the guns can be more as a reminder. I suddenly forget all my nicey nice peace loving ways. For those who are troubled by guns, I suggest nunchuks and maybe a large hunting knife.

    So the leer has its good sides. It brings out the militancy in women–I’ve seen it with all kinds of women, the quiet ones–eventually lots of them go “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” Then we just swoop in with our secret pamphlets and the codewords, safehouses, names of potential revolutionary cell members and the Twistolution has begun.

  48. mel

    I’m not opposed to guns at all, Ozma. There’s NOTHING that’ll level the playing field easier and faster than a gun. Suddenly, we’re all equal. I’m 5’2″ tall, and I’m no physical match for most men. But my bullet can travel just as fast as theirs. Yep. They especially despise gun-toting mamas.

    Yes, TP, of course these men know how rude they’re being. It’s a cruel and obnoxious thing they can “legally” indulge in, and I see them gleefully doing it all the time. If a woman gets visibly upset, they LOVE it because they know they have “gotten” to her. If she goes out of her way to obviously ignore them, they LOVE it because they know they have “gotten” to her. If she puts up a good show to pretend as if she doesn’t even notice it, they LOVE it because they know they have “gotten” to her. They stare and leer like the bunch of dickless wonders they are.

    Everytime I see a guy doing it I can’t help think of how pathetic he looks. Sometimes I like to surrepticiously watch a guy while he’s watching a woman. I see the look of entitlement, and yet desperation, in his eyes. Lots of times I see the arrogance, as if he has the right to “grade” the woman before him.

    One time, many years ago, I was in a bar and there was the most arrogant, rude, obnoxious, narcissistic guy sitting at the bar that I had ever seen. I happened to have a large bag with some of my then-3-year-old’s things in it. I walked up behind him as I was leaving and I held a glow worm up high over his head, sqeezed the belly, and it lit up like a christmas tree! I held it there for a long time and the whole bar was laughing at him. I whisked it away in the nick of time before he caught me, and I left. I could hear the laughter down the street.

    You know, I really like the idea of the camera! I think I’m going to use it. We should start a “watch-out-for-this-perv” site where we can post the pictures of any perv we have the misfortune to encounter.

  49. Mandos

    Can I at least ogle cute babies? Babies really are cute. Especially at seven months-ish. I think that’s the cutest time.

  50. Metal Prophet

    Anyone wanna take bets about how long it’s going to be before some entitled male asshole starts crying about how Twisty is violating their privacy or some other related nonsense?

  51. vera

    My old college roommate Bird and I used to break spontaneously into song — old-timey religious tunes, mostly — whenever we encountered a leering jerk. We’d also do it as a precautionary measure, so that anyone even considering leering would think twice. It’s the whiff of insanity that scares them.

  52. Cass

    The Whiff of Insanity- I’ve tried that one, too, though it didn’t involve song. My all-time favorite.

  53. ljdugan

    I get this sort of crap a lot, at my business in that small town in Redneck County, NC, not because I’m some raving beauty, but because I have the dubious honor of having a full set of (my own) teeth. Oh yeah, and I bathe regularly. The leering perv likes to try to box me in my personal space, either near the counter or work table. I do one of a few things. I usually have a metal tape meaure in my hand, so when perv gets too close, I whip out about two feet of it, poke him in the chest with it and say, “Back it up, bubba,” or call my large-fanged dog over and tell the perv about the time ‘ol Fang nearly took a guy’s leg off that got too close to me. Fascinating how quickly they jump.

  54. Betsy

    Sad thing is, he probably interpreted your taking his picture as interest on your part.

  55. Mandos

    Yeah he doesn’t look all that ashamed to me and I suspect that he’d be amused that Twisty was annoyed at him enough to make him famous.

  56. kathy a

    mandos — ogling babies is generally acceptable, as long as you don’t get into the parent’s personal space and it’s not breastfeeding time. don’t ogle for too long, though, or they’ll think you’re the kind of perv who snatches babies.

  57. Betsy

    PS I gotta share this. Once, I realized I was being followed on the boardwalk in broad daylight at Brighton Beach in NYC. To make sure I was correct in my assumption, I stopped, backtracked a way, then turned again and continued in my original direction. Yep, Pervo followed me at each turn, always about 20 feet back.

    I then took advantage of my superior (female) field of vision. I slowed my pace to a crawl, then turned my head ever so slightly to determine where he was. As I slowed, his pace brought him closer to me. A decent-sized group of people were walking near us on the boardwalk. I prepared my thoughts and tactics for my next move. When he was just a few feet behind me, out of the blue I spun, planted my feet wide, pulled myself up into Full Primate Agression stance, opened my eyes to full glare, threw my arm out straight in front of me pointing directly at him and shouted, “YOU! GET AWAY! NOW!” Every soul on the boardwalk stopped to stare.

    He shrunk, quivered, and whimpered, “I doan’ follow you,” (self-explanatory, don’t you think?) and scurried away.

  58. ae

    “The Prisoner”! Classic.

    These super-leerers know perfectly well what they’re doing giving Twisty and Stingray the all-body 37-over. Asshats.

    HollabackNYC takes photos & stories from all over. Sad to say, one day they’ll grow as big and necessary as craigslist and each city will be given its own section.

  59. TP

    Mandos Mandos Mandos!

    I too find it hard to tear my male gaze away from cute babies. But leer? How can a huge grin of sheer delight and joy be ever interpreted as a leer?

    When babies see me looking at them they always smile back at the goofy guy smiling at them. I never approach because it strikes me as aggressive. Even across a room a baby will notice a smile and smile back. I love babies.

    If the mother has any visible problem with me I either turn away or tell them I couldn’t help but think of my own baby when I saw theirs and ask about ages and parental stuff like that.

    Once my wife said she just didn’t understand how anyone could look at a baby and feel nothing, show no emotion, especially if the baby was doing its happy baby thing.

  60. Mandos

    I said “ogle”, not “leer”. I think an ogle is qualitatively different from a leer.

    I play peekaboo with unhappy babies in the grocery store checkout line. I am pretty good at making them happy. that way.

  61. Ledasmom

    I believe it is always acceptable to admire babies as long as you do not give the impression that you are admiring them as possible food. Oddly, it is perfectly OK to pretend to want to eat a baby (“OOOOOH! Ookit those thighs! I could just EAT THEM ALL UP!”) but you should not propose seasonings.
    I am a habitual peekabooer as well, although, just as often as I wind up with a happy baby I get a baby with a “WTF?” look on its face. As long as it’s not screaming it’s all good.

  62. Burrow Klown

    Ugh. I get into lots of trouble as my general reaction is to yell at the person and/or punch them. Your approach is much better (for not getting kicked out of places, that is)

  63. kathy a

    ledasmom — i’m laughing! seasonings!!

    i sometimes do peekaboo in the grocery line, but more often do winks and huge grins. babes of a certain age are completely facinated by winks, and they’ll try to do them back. there is nothing cuter on earth.

  64. Luckynkl

    I confront men that leer. “Oh, you must think you fucking know me.” Dicks shrivel instantly. Faces turn red. They usually try to flee. I think nothing of creating a scene in public.

    Men are basically cowards. They rule by bullying. They start off with the bullying psychologically (such as a leer) and then progress.

    Word. Men hate being laughed at worse than they fear death. Use that to your advantage. Point and laugh and make fun of him. It’ll wipe that leer right off his face and he’ll leave. It works better than bug repellant.

  65. Betsy

    Beating them up helps, too. But those days are long in my past.

  66. scratchy888

    The other thing you can do if a quelque-chose is leering, is to use very animated hand gestures, direct your eyes in their direction, straight at them, and talk very animatedly about whatever philosophical strand of thought is most appealing to you at the moment. Do not spare the four-syllable words either.

  67. c.

    I’ve been overweight for a while so the leering has pretty much disappeared. However, I’ve recently joined a gym in an attempt to get some regular exercise in my life. The other day I was approaching the gym which is in a strip mall and an employee of a local deli on a break gave me the full on “up and down.” He was a gross little man with a cigarette hanging off his lip. I just glared at him (I think I might even have bared my teeth a little). My first (sarcastic) thought was “Gee, I must be pretty now.” Isn’t it great that the patriarchy makes you feel like shit for being fat but the “reward” for losing some weight is having men stare at you like you’re a walking vagina?

    I do have some anti-leering tactics, though. I have quite a temper and a fair amount of pent up agression. If I find that someone is staring at me long enough to make me uncomfortable, I’ll look the guy straight in the face and say “DO I KNOW YOU?” I find that addressing the person makes them stop leering and asking a question forces them to respond in some way which usually shames them.

    Of course, part of the reason for my pent up agression is that I still haven’t figured out a way to get my boss to stop putting porn on his computer wallpaper. Nothing better than discussing a legal issue with your boss while trying to block the image of a dead eyed naked woman from your peripheral vision.

  68. c.

    ae: thank you for the link. Sadly, as an attorney, I know all about how to sue the dirty old man’s nasty ass. Unfortunately, I’d have to bring a suit in state court b/c I work at a firm w/ less than 15 employees (the employee requirement pursuant to Title VII). Without Title VII, it’s harder to prove harassment and damages. Also, I’d have to be willing to lose my job which, with a mortgage and $1,000/month in law school loans to pay, I can’t afford. And I’d have to accept that I’d be a pariah in the legal community. The good old boys still rule and wouldn’t look to kindly at me for targeting one of their own. So instead of doing something (other than looking for another job every free minute I have), I feel like crap for giving into The Man. A stronger, better person wouldn’t put up with it but I’m too afraid I’ll lose my job and not be able to practice law (which I happen to love).

    And to clarify – the pictures are of nude women, not nude women engaged in sexual acts. The pictures may not be porn under the legal definition but it still SUCKS to have to look at them (and be told by our receptionist that it’s just a “harmless” and “funny” habit of my boss).

  69. Pony

    No you can’t quit your job. Don’t apologize. No-one expects you to quit your job. I hope you’ll find a firm owned by women.

  70. Pony

    I neglected to add, this happened to me. In 1964. We’ve come a long way baby. I was a lowly secretary. No amount of polite requests got me anything but the butt of jokes around the office. Since I figured I had nothing to lose, I would walk into his office to take dictation, and turn the calendar down on his desk. He thought that was so cute. It was all I could achieve. Life as a working girl got worse, believe it or not. Sometime during BlameCon we’ll chat.

  71. c.

    Pony,
    Thank you. I was upset all night until my husband pointed out that I’m not the one who has done something wrong. My boss sucks and will not EVER understand why “nudie” pictures offend the crap out of me. But I will, eventually, get a new job. Even better, I will someday either be the boss or have seniority and power and I will make sure that none of this crap goes on under my watch.

    Until then, I like to remind myself that the good old boys are, indeed, old and will soon die off. Then I’m putting my pissed off ass in a position of power and kicking some ass!

  72. Eric S

    New Jersey’s WFMU made a blog post about yacht rock a while back:

    http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2005/10/this_post_conce.html

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